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This is a question Anything For Money

How low have you sunk to earn a few quid? Have you ever been paid a tenner by a stranger in the street to crap in a jar? Me neither. Tell us about the depraved or humiliating lengths you've gone to in order to raise cash.

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 15:35)
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More of a failed attempt to make money but
Yeah, I've always been a bit of a cynic and decided one year around 8 years ago that Valentine's Day was a veritable gold mine, given the cheaply made saccharine shite that people buy in pound shops and whatnot.

As a prolific eBayer, I'd found various Chinese sellers selling all sorts of tat and formulated a plan. I managed to get a hold of 20 little "silk" bags for about 2 quid, and the idea was I'd buy a load of Swarovski crystals, fill the bags and then sell them as little Valentines treats to people at a marked up price. I managed to find some "SUPER DELUXE FASHION ACCESSORY PRINCESS SWAROVSKI CRYSTAL TOP PRICE x 500" for £5, figured 25 crystals in a bag would look pretty good and could sell them for maybe £5 a go, making a nice little profit.

Now I know a LOT of what I just said sounds stupid in hindsight (rather embarrassed to write it) but a bigger batch of stupidity was about to come down the pipe.

For whatever reason, I had been oblivious to the fact that crystals are not all the same size. My happiness at getting such a big haul of these knockoff crystals started to wither when the telltale jiffy bag came through with the big green sticker on it to say it's from China. It was telltale because it was the smallest jiffy bag I had ever seen.

Sho' nuff, I open the envelope to find a tiny, tiny little zip lock bag filled with plastic crystals, each one literally slightly bigger than a grain of sand (and that's not the modern mis-used literally. This was LITERALLY literally).

They just about filled one bag. I gave up. To this day when I sort through old stuff I will find the odd little brightly coloured grain here and there.
(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 10:03, 31 replies)
Well, no-one's going to beat 'I bought some knocked-off shit on Ebay' this week.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 10:14, closed)
Next up, Tales from the Silk Road

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 10:32, closed)
at least he went to the effort of stretching the non-story over several needlessly detailed paragraphs

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 11:10, closed)
If it wasn't in reasonably good written English it's actually dull enough to be a Fathelme.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 11:11, closed)
oh now ... that's very harsh indeed

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 11:14, closed)
oh do give it a break, just a small break, the pair of you
you're like that pair of old critics in the muppets.
(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 14:37, closed)
New Sheriff in town.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 14:48, closed)
you're the one with the rusty badge

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 14:52, closed)
you mean the only genuinely funny pair in what is otherwise an infantile puppet show?

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 15:02, closed)
no, i just meant that you look like them

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 15:44, closed)
we don't

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 15:57, closed)
Speaking of people who resemble muppets, here's Swipe at her desk.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 16:11, closed)
^ creepy stalking right here ^

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 16:17, closed)
you're on dodgy ground here, Chester Rat.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 16:58, closed)
You're an utter bastard and my wife Miss Piggy agrees.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 18:36, closed)
I have it on excellent authority that your wife is fat

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 19:17, closed)
Well goodness
I forgot how utterly charming you lot were
(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 11:18, closed)
I am LoVELIER than that bender StuJ!

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 12:15, closed)
I think they're on a mission to prove ufm right.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 12:35, closed)
an impossible mission

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 20:29, closed)
Doesn't matter.
My unfailing self confidence means I have no need of your approval.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 16:28, closed)
you have one of my favourite usernames so I'm only going to be slightly mean to you.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 13:35, closed)
Aright, fair enough, I went too far with the 'Fathelme'.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 13:39, closed)
All this apologising has ruined /qotw.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 14:04, closed)
Never go Full Fathelme.

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 14:19, closed)
Fuckinel, I'm feeling the love here!

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 13:58, closed)

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 15:57, closed)

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 16:25, closed)
get your skinny honky lips away from my proud African face

(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 19:05, closed)
I wouldn't worry
Shambles and Badger are desperately inadequate individuals who jump on the slightest opportunity to draw attention away from their own pathetic lives. It's what they do. It's all they do.
(, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 19:13, closed)
Hur hur hur
You dun a wrong !11!!!
(, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:33, closed)

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