b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Wanking Disasters Part II » Post 1087256 | Search
This is a question Wanking Disasters Part II

Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.

Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
Pages: Popular, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

« Go Back

Kays catalogue
Dad forgot his keys and stumbled in on me flicking through the maternity bra section of Kays catalogue. I later came home after school to find a porn mag nestled under my pillow with a yellow sticky note attached saying "enjoy, Dad."
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:54, 16 replies)
a sticky note you say...

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:01, closed)


enjoy enjoyed
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:04, closed)
Then it occured to me
was this one of his wank mags? did he infact have a wank over the same women? then I spent far too long thinking abou tmy dad wanking to hold my wanking chain of thought, complete spunk no-show.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:15, closed)
Reminds me of when I used to send the odd Men Only to someone in prison
It's probably not allowed now, but you used to be able to post specialist literature to guests of Her Majesty.

When he'd pored over every photo until he knew the girls as well as the palm of his hand and the honeymoon was truly over, he'd swap the mag for fags and wait patiently for the next.

So it seems that only men with truly understanding partners got new porn - everyone else had other blokes' castoffs.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:27, closed)
I'm so glad...
...that there was comma between 'enjoy' and 'dad'...
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:19, closed)
...and there on the Reader's Wives page I saw...
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:44, closed)
Maternity bra section?
Bloody hell.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:19, closed)
I was experimenting

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:22, closed)
Did they have the really big knickers?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:24, closed)
With padded Gussets
those peephole bras are wasted on breastfeeding mums
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:26, closed)
Thanks for that.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:31, closed)
Kudos to the old man.
More fathers should be that open.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 16:09, closed)
Give over, half the fun is finding it, knicking it and
picking it out of bushes (ahem). Mind you with t'internet these days kids don't have to try very hard do they.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 17:48, closed)
Wait a minute
Where on the space-time continuum do post-it notes and Kays catalogue exist?

EDIT: oh no you're right 1974
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 16:19, closed)
It may have been Littlewoods
i definately remember the class of underware model being better in one than the other
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 16:21, closed)
This kind of reminds me about when I was a hotel night porter
The hotel was fairly dockside, and was in the patrolling area of ladies of the night. Most of the hotel's clientele were guys going offshore the next day, thus away from their familes (and wives in particular) for the night. Keeping guys from bringing back prostitutes came to be one of my main, if unacknowledged, duties.

All the same, the job wasn't well paid, and I wasn't complaining if I was slipped 10 or 20 quid, depending on how drunk the guy was, to let him bring back "a guest". So anyway, one time this guy of about 50 came up to reception and sounded me out about bringing back "guests". Eventually it gets to the point, and he slips me 20 quid, even before he's gone out. Hmm, he just wants to be prepared, I think.

But no. Later on he comes back with his maybe fifteen year old son and a dockside tart, slips me a wink, and sits with me in the lounge as he waits for his son to lose his virginity to some greyskinned smackhead prostitute.
(, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 17:03, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Popular, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1