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This is a question Bastard Colleagues

You've all known one. The brown-nosing fucker, the 'comedian', the drunk, the gossip and of course the weird one with no mates who goes bell ringing, looks like Mr Majika and sports a monk's haircut (and is a woman).

Tell us about yours...

Thanks to Deskbound for the idea

(, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 9:09)
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shit stabber
I've just discovered I have a bastard colleague, nay, cunt colleague as the following has just happened.

Theres no easy way to say this so its going to have to be fairly blunt. Some one has smeared their shit around the inside rim of the toilet seat in trap 3. Its fairly innocuous though. I know this because I only noticed when i saw there is a thin line of shit across my dick. On further inspection I have sort of shit-oval running around my arse cheeks and thighs.

Motherfucker. Theres like 12 blokes in the office and its one of them. Seriously, youre a wrong motherfucker.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 10:40, 13 replies)
I can empathise
we have a serial scat-abuser in our workplace, there have now been several instances of faecal matter being smeared around the inside of the toilet cubicles.

Why? Why, why, why, why?
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 11:02, closed)
^this^
happened in a place where I used to work, too. Two great finger-stripes along the walls.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 11:05, closed)
in a small
company, 8 blokes I think - there would be floaters, shit on the walls, piss on the floor... never went to such extreme protests as smearing over the seat intentionally though :S
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 11:13, closed)
dirty bastard
clan soul got caught doing that at school & got suspended.

gaz him about it
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 11:14, closed)
Why?
Why do people do this?

I suppose you could take the school ma'am approach and ask the culprit: "Would you do this sort of thing at home?"

Of course, if they say "yes, yes I would," then you really need to worry...
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 11:14, closed)
ha
This caused me to make a big whooping noise in the middle of laughing out loud. Nice work, although yeah whoever did that is clearly very very wrong.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 11:19, closed)
I can beat that
At least it's not menstrual blood dripping down the wall next to the cistern.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 11:20, closed)
oh, miss tulip...
that's happened here, with a little trail of blood across the floor to the cistern. Did the person not notice? Think no-one would mind? Or was it some sort of vampiric temptation?

Juts remembering it makes my face do that 'eeeew' scrunched up thing.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 11:27, closed)
Much the same effect
Can be obtained with a Snickers (suitably softened).

Amazing how many people don't try the taste test.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 11:34, closed)
last place I worked
There was a sign in each cubicle reading: "Please don't wipe bogies on the wall." And the place was covered with them.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 11:53, closed)
back at school
oh so many years ago one of the pianos was out of action and the discovery of a used tampon thrown in among the strings was made. There were toliets next door to the room, why do that?
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 12:24, closed)
My old workplace
had someone who used to shit in the sinks, instead of the cubicle. How they got their arse up there is a mystery, especially as the toilets were fairly busy and no-one was ever caught.
Yuck
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 14:00, closed)
Dear God!
That makes me glad to work at a small company, if anyone pulled that here I'd have time to hack at them all with a machete.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 14:01, closed)

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