I was walking the dog in the woods,
we passed a bunch of kids playing and then a couple of hundred yards up the hill, two blokes on bicycles came tearing down at full pelt.

"Slow down!" I yelled, "there's kids playing just round the next corner!"
One of the cyclists shouted at me over his shoulder: "How do you know? You a paedophile or something?"

And with a final "Fucking NONCE!" he was gone.

Are paedophiles supposed to be telepathic/X-ray sighted now? I don't read the Sun so wouldn't know.
( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 13:35, 7 replies)

To be fair, you WERE stroking your exposed cock at the time.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 13:40, closed)

He does have a point.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 14:01, closed)

To be fair
It would have been even worse if he had been stroking the children's exposed cocks.
(ubergeekian, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 16:01, closed)

So you ARE a paedo then?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 15:38, closed)

As a French skier might put it:

( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 16:14, closed)

then you punched him right?

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 17:01, closed)

He was doing about 35mph downhill, I'm not bionic.
Besides, someone with that kind of reasoning is probably more used to fighting than I am.
( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Sun 15 Dec 2013, 10:41, closed)

given his attitude I'm surprised he didn't pull over and start beating you up as soon as you asked

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 15 Dec 2013, 22:31, closed)

Roundhouse kick to the windpipe
shirley?
(An Alien sneezed on Bill Oddies binoculars, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 21:39, closed)