It's a cow
Moons ago, we took my mother back to the village of her birth in the highlands of bonny Scotland. It was her 50th Birthday so we booked into a fairly swanky hotel near Loch Ness.

It was my first time north of the border and I was somewhat startled to see an enormous ginger bull roaming the hotel grounds, mere yards from the entrance.

Being a new Dad, I was concerned for the wellbeing of my child so wandered up to the hotel reception to point this out. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Excuse me, there's a large bull loose on the grounds.
Them: I don't see a bull sir.
Me: It's there, that great big ginger thing with horns.
Them: Do you mean the cow sir?
Me (looking around perplexed): No, the bull
Them: I can only see a cow sir, it's of no danger
Me: I can't see any bloody cows...
Them: .....

Retreating to the hotel room, I hastily do a wiki search:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highland_cattle

How was I to know that highland cattle are known locally as cows? Begs the question, what do they call the traditional black and white variety?
(BinDipper, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:59, 13 replies)

Pandas.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:01, closed)

We call them cows too, you know.
The cows you're thinking of are called Friesians. There are other kinds, like Herefords.

Oranges are not the only fruit...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:20, closed)

I'm sorry, but that is like no cow I have ever seen.

In my state of ignorant bliss, cows do not have long hair and horns.
(BinDipper, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:22, closed)

It's the same with northern women
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:46, closed)

I can confirm this to be true.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:53, closed)

Look for the bollocks
Ignore the hair and the horns. If it hasn't got great big hairy, knee-bouncing punchbags dangling between its back legs, but instead has an enormous pink tit with four dangly nipples on it, it isn't a bull, it's a cow.

If it has a leather briefcase and pinstripes, it's probably an accountant.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:35, closed)

The penis can be more obvious.
Look in the middle of the belly.
If you see a tuft of hair sticking down, it's a bull.

Udder can be fairly small in cows that haven't lactated.
(Well, technically, sheath, not penis, as it retracts)
(speedevil, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 18:59, closed)

Coos.
Or, more accurately, coos ye bawbag.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:54, closed)

^ What Brenda said ^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 18:07, closed)

Begging the question ...
... doesn't mean what you said.
(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Mon 3 Sep 2012, 22:03, closed)

In a similar vein.
You do know that not all dogs are the same, yet they are all still called dogs?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:25, closed)

the lassies
"Cow" is also a local term of affection, used to describe the delightful scottish ladies. Be sure to always append "you cow" to the end of any address to a Scotswoman of the female persuasion. This is similar to using "my dear" in the Queen's english. She will thank you for your politeness.
(Simian Typewriter Supplies Pty. Ltd. is house hunting in the neighborhood of infinity, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 13:32, closed)

This one wins
It answers the question perfectly.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 14:03, closed)