We must have done this topic before

Because one b3tan (sorry, I can't remember which one) introduced me to a few phrases which have become some of my favourites, and can - when used confidently - pass without notice at any meeting full of twats:

"Look, it's not rocket surgery."
"Good, now we're all singing from a level playing field" or conversely "now we're all playing on a level hymn sheet"

They even sound right! Try one today.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 15:08, 8 replies)

rocket surgery is great
I've not managed to use it yet though :-/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 15:12, closed)

Let me know when you do
and see if anyone actually notices.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 15:16, closed)

(sigh)
I've used it occasionaly. Almost invariably had someone po faced and irritating gently corrects my terrible misuse of idiom, pats me reassuringly on the arm and tells me that she* knows how hard it is for us technical types to interface in a one on one situation.


*Why the cunting fuck are all the HR/media/marketing types middle aged women with the condecending demeanour and patronising attitude that can only be achieved by the withering of cunt flaps and a near fatal addiction Werthers Original.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:20, closed)

That's the thin end of a slippery slope

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 15:16, closed)

Kevisms
Worked with a bloke, Kev, and he would regularly come out with things like that. My favourite is "Whatever rocks your boat"
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 15:22, closed)

maybe not office one
but have heard " does the pope shit in the woods?"
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 6:05, closed)

To tip the iceberg
Did I mean "the tip of the iceberg" or "tip the balance"? I just can't remember.

My favourite was in Eastenders a while back, though. One character was being asked some inappropriate questions, and she protested, "Look, I didn't ask for the Spanish Armada!"
( Pretender, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 20:04, closed)

Stating the bleedin' obvious
Love the Rocket surgery, but try using this in your next meeting,

"Has a fish got a water proof head ?"
(Betty Boothroyd's Love custard Tourettes at the KOB, Sun 11 Apr 2010, 22:17, closed)