What?
I used to have a verbally disabled boss who was always coming out with his own made-up ‘management speak’. Some that spring to mind;

“He lies like a hairy egg.”

“That’s the problem with these courses, they teach you stuff you don’t know.”

“He’s digging himself a hole and finding mole hills to add to his other mole hills.”

“I smell a Heron!”

“You’ve got two choices and one of them is to leave, so It’s one choice really (after a short pause he frowns and turns to his assistant) Is one choice a choice?”

He was fat, bald, moustached, sweary, chain smoking, afternoon drunk, idiot. I’d love to work for him again.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 9 Apr 2010, 12:28, 9 replies)

This answer should win.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 12:29, closed)

Agreed...
...I personally will be using the phrase 'He lies like a hairy egg' in every possible conversation from now on.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Fri 9 Apr 2010, 12:32, closed)

"I smell a heron!" is my favourite.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 12:35, closed)

absolutely.

( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 13:08, closed)

I like the idea
of making up your own bollocks that only you know the meaning, if indeed there is a meaning
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 12:29, closed)

The beauty of it was
he wasn’t doing it on purpose, he was just not very good at thinking or speaking.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 9 Apr 2010, 12:33, closed)

Sounds like he's great at speaking
just not in the conventional/pedant way!
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 0:01, closed)

I'm going to spend the rest of the day
Lying like a hairy egg
( WOLF .™, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 12:33, closed)

This is rubbish.

I'm a hairy egg.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 13:03, closed)