An Opportunity missed
This tale take place entirely in the past...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our tale of Celebrity Encounterdom takes place on a autumn day some two years ago just past the chain store 'Cafe Nero' situated at the base of the ascent to Manchester's Picadilly Train station.

Walking towards work from previously stated station of trains, I percieved with my two eyes a set of girls giggling and turning their heads towards a gentleman in a black coat pulling along a bi-wheeled suitcase. Curiousity burned inside me like a vindaloo curry in my girlfriend, I peered towards the gentleman of intrest and core-blimey! It was Mister James Carr, professionally known as 'Comedian' Jimmy Carr, star stuck by the fourth wall being broken by this television based personality existing in the same reality as myself, he walked right past me as I caught the look of fear in his eyes at the admittandly scabby girls pointing at him, aswell as the prospect of most likely having to take a train like a normal human-plebian.

It was not until he had completely walked by that I remembered...

I fucking hate Jimmy Carr, I find his jokes abusive, unimaginative and his face overall unpleasant and that was my only chance to ever tell him this personally (as I would not be found at any of his 'performances'). This regret will follow me till his grave, after that no shits will be given as the young folk say.

TL/DR: (Now edited for the reading pleasure of eViLegion) I walked past Jimmy Carr near Manchester Station and was so starstuck cause "ee's off da telly", I forgot to tell him how shit I thought he was. Being totally Spineless I decided not to chase him down, grab him by the collar and shout my opinion in his face like any decent person would. Que Sera Sera!

Also fellow b3tian Radagast whilst was not 'touched up' by the Saville creature he did recieve a pat on the head from it, if you ask nicely he might show you the photographic evidence.
(Halfaxa, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 14:02, 4 replies)

I saw him in a Manc Starbucks looking more miserable than he does on telly.
Smile, Jimmy. You earn thousands!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 14:03, closed)

You dodged a bullet there...
...since absolutely any sentence you constructed to "tell him how shit [you] thought he was" would have been met by a much more devastating one, that would have left you fuming for the rest of the day, and from which he would earn money by including in future acts.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 14:07, closed)

Cleary a Carr fan.
(Halfaxa, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 14:16, closed)

Yeah, I quite like him...
...but that is irrelevant.

Do you really think someone like Carr, whose successful career is based on viciously taking the piss whilst not giving even half a fuck, is likely to even bat an eyelid at some prole spitting unwarranted vitriol at him?

He makes a living doing this, and doing it very well. Why on earth would you challenge him at the one thing he's guaranteed to beat you at?

Would you attempt to roundhouse kick Chuck Norris in the face, if you didn't like him? Fair play if you would, but don't expect not to receive an immediate and visceral demonstration of how to do it professionally.

Your story isn't even one of those where you have an argument and then think of something really cutting to say 2 hours later... it's even worse than that: in short, you didn't have the balls to start an argument that you knew you couldn't win. Nice.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 14:26, closed)

I like how Jimmy Carr has declared that he had the last laugh,
without even bothering to post on here.
Pretty sure Chuck Norris doesn't need to internet hardman by proxy, either.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 14:31, closed)

Who's hardmanning?
I'm just mocking a shit story where someone is proud of almost doing something that they wanted to do (not foreseeing their inevitable disappointment) but didn't do it due to extreme spinelessness.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 14:34, closed)

a shit story
The basic premise of b3ta then?

I'm fitting in already!
(Halfaxa, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 14:55, closed)

Ain't that the truth!?
Incidentally, feel free to mock my own submissions, as
that's only fair. Also, I prefer it when people hate me.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 15:00, closed)

Ah left a wee gem in my shite tale for yea
see if yea can spot it. Kisses!
(Halfaxa, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 15:05, closed)

Heheh
It is appreciated :o)
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 15:23, closed)

am i not the only one that hates carr's laugh?
( skullbuggery uh huh! kissed a cow!, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 8:15, closed)

He can laugh?

(Halfaxa, Sat 7 Dec 2013, 12:56, closed)