big one coming up
After nearly 25 years working for my company, my reward at the end of
November is to see my job given away, by some cunt, to some other cunt
in India. Certainly a big milestone, but not in a good way.

Cunts.
( finnbar has officially retired, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 13:57, 14 replies)

lol gutted
imagine if you'd worked harder and were less dispensable
(sock puppet 94980 your personal details here, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 14:00, closed)

Still that's a full 25 weeks salary plus notice
for a quarter century of your life.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 14:19, closed)

statutory sucks
Statutory redundancy pay rates

These are based on an employee’s age and length of employment and are counted back from the date of dismissal.

Employees get:
1.5 weeks’ pay for each year of employment after their 41st birthday
a week’s pay for each year of employment after their 22nd birthday
half a week’s pay for each year of employment up to their 22nd birthday

Length of service is capped at 20 years and weekly pay is capped at £464. The maximum amount of statutory redundancy pay is £13,500.

You can give your staff extra redundancy pay if you want to, or have a qualifying period of less than 2 years.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 16:27, closed)

Hey! you must have been consulting for HP!! Khunts that they were.

(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Fri 26 Sep 2014, 16:44, closed)

True
When I was canned by them the payout formula wasn't very generous to those who'd been there for years, but they did set the minimum to 6 months pay. I'd only been there 8 months so I did quite nicely out of it (just as well, it took a while to get a job again).

The French guys did alright though. Their union had negotiated a deal where HP had to pay to retrain those who were made redundant in a career of their choice. Apparently there were a lot of guys choosing airline pilot as a new career :-)
( SteamedCleaner, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 6:14, closed)

well this is uncharacteristically dull

(sock puppet 94980 your personal details here, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 16:50, closed)

It's also bullshit.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 27 Sep 2014, 1:30, closed)

So, ket me get this straight...
...in 25 years' employment you've never risen higher than 'chair-moistening drone' in your chosen profession?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 14:21, closed)

Numbers, and spreadsheets.

(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Fri 26 Sep 2014, 16:47, closed)

Ket didn't figure, maybe it should have.

(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Fri 26 Sep 2014, 16:49, closed)

I've never wanted to "rise higher"
I was perfectly happy moistening a chair.
( finnbar has officially retired, Sat 27 Sep 2014, 13:48, closed)

Take care, we are not all wankers. Happy to chat / help.

(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Fri 26 Sep 2014, 16:51, closed)

^grooming

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 27 Sep 2014, 2:08, closed)

He is a Master which probably means he is one of them 14 year olds who like older.
Is that still grooming?
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 27 Sep 2014, 14:19, closed)