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This is a question Cheap Tat

OneEyedMonster remindes us about the crap you can buy in pound shops: "Batteries that lasted about an hour and then died. A screwdriver with a loose handle so I couldn't turn the damn screw, and a tape measure which wasn't at all accurate."

Similarly, my neighbour bought a lawnmower from Argos that was so cheap the wheels didn't go round, it sort of skidded over the grass whilst gently back-combing it.

What's the cheapest, most useless crap you've bought?

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 7:26)
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I bought thirty Poundland razors for--guess how much?--that's right, a pound. Bugger those expensive ones. Seriously, what difference can there be between a razor that costs three pence, and one of those fancy ones where the replacement blades cost a king's ransom?

A lot, it turns out.

They had no lubrication strip, and one blade. Gent's ones in black, ladies' in pink. Obviously I went for the ladies' one.

I then made possibly the biggest mistake of my life. I decided to shave my minge with one of my remarkably cheap purchases. Perhaps this would be a good answer for last week's QOTW, because one should never shave one's minge with a Poundland razor. One will be left with a horrific red rash and, bizarrely, most of the hair still remaining.

Did I learn my lesson? Of course not, I'd spent a hard-earned pound on thirty of the fuckers. It was like a game of Russian Roulette. Some were sharp, some were rather like shaving with a spoon. My legs now look like those of a miserable goth because of the number of Poundland-induced wounds.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:12, 14 replies)
Purely because you managed to refer to yourself in the third person while using the words minge and Poundland.
Pure class.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:16, closed)
"I decided to shave my minge with one of my remarkably cheap purchases"
For a moment there I had a flashback to that scene in The Piano Teacher.

Y'know... that scene.

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:16, closed)
for the use of "miserable goth" in such an appropriate context!
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:17, closed)
But... Why did you carry on with the task in hand once the first stroke had gone so badly?
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:19, closed)
oh dear lord no!
You poor thing! Surely one should never shave one's minge, poundland razors or no.
Waxing, if one must!

*shudders at the thought of itchiness*
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:19, closed)
I've used them on my face
It would have been less painful and more effective to use tweezers.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:21, closed)
Just like TheWeeWitch...
...I loved the phrase "miserable goth" in that context. My keyboard doesn't though. It now has half a mouth's worth of tea sloshing about in it. Bugger it, I needed a new one anyway.

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:27, closed)
This is the best
Finally someone else who uses the word "minge"
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:46, closed)
I brought lidl razors once.
I swear the extra blade and lubestrip were just for ornamental value.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 17:33, closed)
not sure about poundland
but the cheap boots / bic brand razors were quite fine for head shaving.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 17:42, closed)
Pics or it didn't happen.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 18:33, closed)
Would you shave your minge - are you a porn star or summat.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 18:55, closed)
^ What they said
Please don't shave your ladygarden. What if your hand slipped? Besides, you are ALWAYS left with stubble eventually.

Find a good salon which will torture you with wax for a nominal fee, instead. Much nicer.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 19:34, closed)
leave is as nature intended for the 70's blart look.

I suggest you watch Life of Brian or (even better) Blood on Satan's Claw for examples.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 23:03, closed)

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