GREETINGS!
My name is Samuel Mbeke. My father was head of the NIGERIAN NATIONAL BANK, but died recently. I have 6 million DOLLARS to get out of the country.

Please send your bank details to 419 Fraud St, Lagos, Nigeria and you can have half.
( bloobloo, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 8:31, Reply)

I was interviewed by Dougie on RI:SE
about how much I liked The Polyphonic Spree, I met them too
(Chopper3, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 8:02, Reply)

Four things
1. I used to go out with Robin Page's (of One Man and his Dog fame) goddaughter

2. I was on the nine O'clock news being interviewed about picking up my A-Level results

3. I'd blown up the science lab on the last day of sixth form (as in big smoking hole in lab bench) and was only allowed back to pick up the results 'cos the telly people wanted to talk to a state school lad who was going to Cambridge Uni

4. Managing to self fellate when I was 14, sadly the spines too stiff now.....
(pitviper, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 1:19, Reply)

in the trailers for time team's big dig in the good ol' summer of '03...
...twas my ass you could see behind tony robinson. hussah, bum-fame! (and i once accidently stubbed a fag out on the arm of the squeeky midget singer from placebo)
(cole007, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 0:41, Reply)

I Was Christened By
Timmy Malletts Dad-He was a vicar near me so that's that. I also went on stage and held hands with Michael Barrymore after he played Buttons in Panto, at least I didn't go for a swim with him.
(TheBaron, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 0:15, Reply)

"Gods and Generals"
I play the Adjutant Lieutenant to Union General Winfield Hancock (American Civil War). I worked on that film for well over 4 months, six days per week...and in the final edit of the film, you see me for all of about 5 seconds as I walk across the pontoon bridge into the city of Fredericksburg, VA.

Though, my sister counted and you see me 47 times throughout the film...all very brief.

Got to work with Jeff Daniels (Dumb and Dumber) though...he is a first class Wanker. Absolutely HATE him. I was so rude to him one day that he started trying to talk to me as if we were buddies...C. Thomas Howell (Soul Man, Red Dawn) thought I was so funny for pissing off Jeff Daniels that we are STILL friends!

Stepping up one rung on the ladder:

In an upcoming film I portray a US Army Sergeant in the 10th Mountain Division in Italy in 1945...and I have TONS of lines! WOO ME!

Sic Semper Tyrranis!

Sean
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 22:59, Reply)

not me but
a friend of mine was in crossroads playign scott (2) - he was the worse one according to hardcore fans.
check him out at
www.planetcrossroads.co.uk/news/index.php?id=0603
or do a quick google of matthew maude
darn he'll kill me for this.... oh well, oh and he went to the same school as richard whiteley
yay him
(sextuple rooty, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 22:49, Reply)

I was once on...
Mad for it when i was younger. I recently dug out one of the tapes and my god i was fat. No one here probably even knows what i am on about but if anyone does i was on the one with the people with the YOYOs.

When i was much younger, before i knew the balance of the world i went to a convention and met Kenny baker (R2D2) i then handed him a photo of him and R2 to sign but i put it too far away and his little arms couldn't reach, i didn't do it on purpose but his wife stood on a chair (also a small lady) and grabbed it. She followed to scowl at me and i felt sad for days that kenny baker's wife hated me.
(Rosseh!, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 22:47, Reply)

One other thing
One of the volunteers I used to work with in a museum just announced that when living in Palestine in the 40's as a child he used to play with Yassir Arafat and was still his penpal
(Tix Keeper of the Smurf, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 22:42, Reply)

Ross Kemp
Ross Kemp came into the Burger King I worked at and ordered a Double Whopper with Cheese large meal. The fat bastard.
(flibblesan saw your mums cock, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 22:41, Reply)

Whilst at school
A friend claimed to have an uncle who worked for the company that made Transformer toys. I used to invent transformer characters and draw them, rather badly, hoping this friend would give to his uncle and it would be made or something. One day I drew a variation of Hot Rod with a trailer and gave it the name Rodymus Prime. A year or so later, Transformers the movie and I go to see it at the cinema. The sods stole my idea and name! And everyone thought I was bullshitting when I told them I thought of it.

OK it's crappy I know
(flibblesan saw your mums cock, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 22:40, Reply)

Stuff
And the bloke that invented the automated cash machines went to school with my mum.. He ended up having a moleste nervous breakdown after selling the patent for something ridiculous like £500 as he thought it would never catch on.

We went to See "A" play at the Wedgewood Rooms in Portsmouth in about 1997 and when outside one of the girls we were with spent a half hour talking to them about - "The great band we'd just seeen inside" not realising it was them she was speaking to. When they told her it was they, she asked if she could write to the Sun and say that one of them had got her pregnant and they said only if she went halves on the money... They then offered the rest of us to come in the tour van and we randomly stood around basking in fame by proxy...

My hairdresser knew various members of Skeletal Family

/ Edit - Also was near home (Portsmouth) and seeing some tramp gave him 20p for a cup of tea, he laughed but looked rather pissed off. Turned out to be Mick Hucknall who apparently was in Gosport at the time (it was during very long dreads time)
(Tix Keeper of the Smurf, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 22:05, Reply)

i played guitar for kelly jones
of the stereophonics on one occasion!
( You drive like a mong in a dodgem today is, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 21:09, Reply)

Delboy
I once saw David Jason walking along the Leeds to Liverpool canal when he was in the Darling Buds of May. He was with a very large breasted woman and scowled at me when he walked past. Being about 9 years old i was devastated that Delboy has dissed me...
(Bobby T, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 21:08, Reply)

Snogs of praise
Kids from my school were on Songs of Praise. They were in an elegant twilight shot, with commentary along the lines of 'Stamford also has a dark side...the underprevileged and homeless wander the town with nowhere to go...'
The shot was of the boarders from the private school, probably amongst the richest people in Stamford, and they were all making out. I think they got grounded. Sucks to be you guys!
So, kids, don't believe everything they say on TV.
(spida, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 20:59, Reply)

my auntys
husbands brother is the producer of the terry wogun show on the radio or some shit like that and my brothers mates brother used to work for tim westwood
(fwack bang on it, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 20:07, Reply)

hmm
One of my friends from home has just signed for Crewe for 170,000 pounds! I am worth jack shit. Ah, life.
(Matt entices small rodents with cheese., Wed 2 Mar 2005, 19:47, Reply)

Songs of Praise
When i was 5, songs of praise came to my church (i was forced to go until my twelth birthday) in leicester, and because it happened to be my birthday at the time, the film crew came back to my house to film me playing paperboy on my commodore64. they also bought me a cake (kind chappies) but aslso insisted that i ate toast and marmalade with butter (i fucking HATE butter) so i had a massive 5 year old temper tantrum which they didn't show thank god.
( Kingtoke was shit at life on, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 19:26, Reply)

2nd Best Band In Bangkok
Despite not being signed to any record label, or ever releasing our own CD, my band was played on a Bangkok FM radio stations top 40 songs of the year. We are 39, just ahead of coldplay www.thisisclick.com/1025_getindie_song.php
(JK5150, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 18:59, Reply)

Kinda indie-schmindie..
..but anyway:

I met Nick Mason (drummer for Pink Floyd) at a bookisigning in Newcastle. He looked slightly irritated at the fact that no fucker was buying his book on racing cars, just carting their Floyd albums down for him to sign. I said: "Hi, y'all right?", he said "Yeah."

I once had a quarter-hour conversation with Conrad Keeley from Trail of Dead in Leeds about Lester Bangs (best music hack EVER) and how it was my life's goal to be the next him. He told me not to die at 34 (or whatever) though. I agreed.

I had a similar length conversation with Harris Khlar from 'Q and not U' in Turin about the Beatles and Sonic Youth. He said my friend's band who supported them, 'would go far'. They didn't.

I bumped into Phil Jupitus at the secret Gang of Four gig last month in New Cross. I said: "Hi Phil!", he said "A'right?". Graham Coxon was there too, as were the Queens of Noize. I dearly wanted to congratulate him for his work on 'Think Tank' (arf), and to inform the Queens they they wouldn't know 'noize' if it burgled their turds, and to inform them of their status of trust-fund horse-fancying dillettantes who have nothing to do with music whatsoever. But I couldn't find them, it was too packed.

I'm in a band too. We headlined at Goldsmiths student union. Yay..

Now I will be silent.
( Quiver Search for FATALISTS on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, &c, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 18:29, Reply)

i opened a door quite quickly...
while i was working in a cinema in oxford,and missed smashing Richard Branson in the face by about 2cm.I hit his elbows instead which made him lose a fair bit of his popcorn,he was really nice about it though...found out later he used to own said cinema-woops

(edit)ooh-also,my dad (who is a dental technician) did catherine zeta jones' teeth when she was in the darling buds of may...yup-they're fake
(minister of evil, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 17:42, Reply)

Rubbish
This is a truly rubbish claim to fame: my brother made de_dust (thats a map in counter strike)
(Sir_hillsbottom, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 17:28, Reply)

I DJ ed @ Knowledge 1993
The best Techno club in London - KNOWLEDGE @ SW1 Club (Wednesday nights) 1993

And

My Missus was on Soccer a.m
(codename Gaz, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 17:14, Reply)

Possibly the most crappy claim to fame ever
My dad appeared on Good Morning with Ann and Nick on one show as a TV chef.

He hasn't worked on TV to this day ever since.
(mrdiddle, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 17:13, Reply)

Bitty...
My family are great friends with the actress who recently appeared in Little Britain as the breastfeeding Grandmother of the bitty bloke.

She was also in the awful Eldorado and at the moment shes also in that annoying Pizza Hut advert where the guy is eating lasagne with his fingers.
(mrdiddle, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 17:10, Reply)

my nanosecond of fame
i was on magpie once. i saw marmalade atkins in the canteen beforehand whilst eating my complimentary plate of chips. she had stripey tights on.
(metaldog, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 17:06, Reply)

Goo Goo eyes at Goo Goo Dolls
My crappy claim is a near miss which makes it all the more crappier. It's my almost got play story. I made goo goo eyes with the goo goo dolls singer Johnny Resnick. I was at a small NYC promo show on stage with the production + had his attention, exchanged wild smiles + eyes, it was well on its way (there was an after show thing)... yet got too drunk with excitement (+ free beer) and by the time they finished their set I rambled off, got distracted, figured I'd get many more opportunities... I'm still waiting...
(suzysaltypits, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 17:04, Reply)

Finally...
...my claim to fame is I've worked out what molest replaces on this board after several months of head-scratching. Hope I never get a moleste molest from a Yozzer molesthes!
(SneakyPete, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 16:56, Reply)

I could have been Boba Fett....
I went to my local boozer many years ago, at about... oh I dunno... before eleven, to get some booze.

Apparently I had just missed Steven Spielberg and Mel Gibson who had just popped in for a coffee en route to Shepperton Studios.

Had I been earlier, I could have had Steve put a word in for me with George, made a decent prequel trilogy and starred as Boba Fett.
(BadgerSmaker, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 16:45, Reply)