An acquaintance worked for Inland Revenue and in times gone by he would not have met this
particular chap because he would have become a CofE cleric, what with the old expression of the first inherits and looks after the family affairs, the next does something in the military but the CofE raised its standards and the nice but dim ones from old money were no longer allowed.

The story, the IR colleagues were enjoying a drink in Kensington public house and these colleagues come from a wide variety of social backgrounds. They were discussing films and a recently released film was the loose biopic, Nil By Mouth. One of the workers said that they enjoyed the film but mainly because it was shot on location on his estate. At which point the young, nice, dim, old money with title says "Oh, how marvellous! How many acres?"
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 11:32, Reply)

"Tits first; I'm not a slag."

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 11:13, 4 replies)

Papal Knighthoods
I used to work for a large professional firm where part of my role was looking after trainees (I looked after one so well that I married her but that is another story). The trainees all came from good universities with top academic qualifications but there was a fair mix of backgrounds but there were quite a few poshos.

One in particular, let's call him Tarquin, was a twat. Questionable social skills, questionable any skills, questionable intelligence. I fear that his poshness got him further than his abilities would otherwise have allowed.

Anyone, at one event at a corporate evening event at the firm's main client (Lloyd's of London) Tarquin got a bit drunk. That's OK in principle - everyone was having a good time. Lloyd's brokers often come from modest Essex backgrounds and work their way up so and so might have an Essex accent and not have been university educated. This had not escaped Tarquin's notice in his conversation with one such broker. It was obviously getting heated which brought the situation to my attention. I hastened over there just in time to hear, "Well your family are scum. You come from scum. My grandfather has two papal knighthoods!".

tl;dr: posh boy abuses working class bloke.

(Just realised slightly off topic too)
(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:43, 6 replies)

My sister's friend visited. Like all women, they talk and talk and talk and talk and talk at each other, barely pausing for breath.
At one point I overheard said friend say

"Oh the WORST thing in the world is warm champagne!"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:40, 18 replies)

also, my friend sam and i were at alton towers one day last summer. now i love alton towers, but you do see quite a lot of rank sights there
we were just climbing into the very front seats on "rita! queen of speed!" when i clocked the worst of them all. a girl who looked about 10-12 years old, wearing a t-shirt that announced in massive letters:

I LOVE JIS.

i pointed it out to sam, and we were both horrorstruck. as the camera on rita gets you on the 0-100mph take-off, the pictures were classic. only on the way back did we realise... it said "i love jls".

which, frankly, is even less classy than our original reading.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:08, 14 replies)

one of my friends is terribly posh. let's call her clarabelle.
i bought a new winter coat, which was rather nice, but had some fake fur on it. belle looked at it and her patrician nose wrinkled up even further. then she said,

"it's not that you don't look lovely, darling. it's just that - I'm morally opposed to fur that isn't real."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:02, 4 replies)

In my home town there is a one way system on the high street. When I make return visits for
family reasons and I have to visit the town centre I always look both ways when at the one way, this is to ensure that the local, toothless, mouth breathers know that I am from out of town.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:48, 1 reply)

I walked past a 6yo girl, who was walking hand-in-hand with her mother the other day.
The 6yo girl had a t-shirt on saying "WARNING: This bitch bites!"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:57, 4 replies)

Can't any of you see what has happened here?
The dog-fingering classes have conspired to turn us hardworking, posting-class internetters against each other so they can carry on molesting canines. RISE UP, MY BROTHERS, AND JOIN ME IN REVOLUTION AGAINST THE OPPRESSIVE BOURGEOISIE!
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 23:53, 12 replies)

Albert’s Infallible Guide to Class
Working class, middle class, upper class – makes no damn difference. Class is imbued in only certain people - you can tell by the way they carry themselves, their manners and their style. Those that are possessed with true class are rare, very rare.

People harp on about a ‘classless society’ as if it is something to strive for. I cannot think of anything worse. There is very little by way of class on display in this country. Only a tiny fraction of the population can claim to have the slightest idea of how to conduct themselves in a manner befitting their age or station in life.

As someone who simply exudes class, I will try and assist the rest of you with a simple guide. Now, I understand that in times past – and I myself am guilty of a great many indiscretions – one may have indulged in truly classless behaviour, but a decent person understands, that for example, when you lived in student hovel, smoked roll-ups and made meals from tinned food, that this was simply class tourism - an exercise, if you will, in how not to live. If however, you find yourself out of your early 20’s and still doing any of the above, then you my friend, are a classless embarrassment. As are the rest of you, if you:

Eat in Subway
Commute by bus
Still have a bad credit rating
Play fruit machines in pubs
Smoke outside huddled by the office doorway
Wear any kind of sports clothing when not participating in sport
Still smoke weed
Buy anything from non-British supermarkets whilst in the UK
Purchase lottery tickets
Smoke roll up cigarettes
Go to nightclubs when over 35yrs old
Do not own a car
Still keep jewellery in your piercings (other than ears)
Visit KFC
Still high-five people
Believe that 1% of people have all the money
‘Like’ brands on Facebook
Don’t yet own a property
Have never been upgraded without asking
Need to know what the above point means
Go camping
Vote anything other than Tory
Have a visible tattoo
Read the Guardian
Like new music
Buy anything from Greggs
Think that the state will provide
Watch Coronation Street
Buy wine under £10 a bottle
Drink ‘energy’ beverages
Think your choice of coffee defines you
Don’t have an Amex Card
Holiday in Centre Parcs
Never read the small-print
Call people ‘dude’
Voted Livingstone
Pay retail
Eat Pringles
Haven’t got private healthcare
Give public displays of affection
Don’t visit the hygienist at least twice a year
Carry a rucksack on your commute
Especially if it has a bottle of water in an outside pocket
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 22:58, 166 replies)

Signet rings; discuss.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 20:13, 8 replies)

It does seem to be that those lacking it tend to be proud of their class.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 19:55, Reply)

Do you pronounce it "class" or "clarse"?

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 19:08, 13 replies)

Class act


Vic & Bob
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 17:06, 5 replies)

Don't talk to me about class...
...I've been to Leeds.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 17:05, 6 replies)

You cant buy it.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 16:52, 2 replies)

This can't possibly end well

( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 16:41, 2 replies)

I'm rather chameleon like about it all.
I'm def working class stock. My dad was a copper and my Mum was a nurse.

My Dad died when I was a kid, and my Mum remarried when I was 18, to a wealthy guy who had 2 kids of his own.

So me and my brother, both with strictly comprehensive education became step siblings to two privately educated sloane rangers (my stepsister shortly afterwards got a first from Oxford, and ended up at a Japanese bank in the city earning 250k a year).

I shared a flat in Fulham with my stepbrother for 4 years, so my social life was wierd - one weekend out with my plumber / builder / despatch rider mates, getting into punchups in dodgy pubs in South London, the next weekend in a pengiun suit going to some posh birds 21st Birthday party at her parents 24 bedroom pile in Herefordshire with 100 hooray henries.

This all required a certain flexibility in both behaviour and speech.

I found it a useful education. I work in a job that brings me into contact with a whole lot of people, from stevedores loading ships, to members of the house of Lords, who in my professional capacity I am working with as an equal.

It's good to be able to drink from a hosepipe in the morning while trying to sort out why someone took a shit in the hold of a ship we're loading, then throw on a suit and chat to the CEO of a fortune 500 company after lunch.

All rather jolly, innit?
(username failed moderation, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 16:22, 19 replies)

i went to nando's once

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 16:18, 5 replies)

I like the people who think "Chav" is repressive of the working class.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 16:10, Reply)

The classiest thing that ever happens on b3ta is when the mods clamp down on people posting adult porn but not child porn.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 15:44, 10 replies)

My suggestion was infinitely better but it didn't even get picked for the vote because I'm not a posh southerner.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 15:38, 4 replies)

There's these poor people right, and they all wear tracksuits.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 15:32, Reply)

Second class

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 15:31, 1 reply)

Saying 'first' is for povvos.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 15:31, 1 reply)