What’s the deal…?

What’s the deal with Harry Potter?
I bet he likes it up the jotter
Dan Brown’s shit sells by the tonne
& Obama’s peace prize? – what’s he done?

Those 'talent' shows that please the plebs
And spaff out more ‘Z’ list celebs
To pack the pages of ‘Hello’
With wankers I don’t want to know.

ipod, iphone, and i-whatever,
They think they sound so fucking clever
They’d sell a crabs-infested cunt
If someone put ‘i’ at the front

And 'supermodels'?...I've never tried ‘em
(Although they could do with some meat inside ‘em)
Those stick-thin girls don’t float my boat
They’d snap in half against my scrote

Amy Whinehouse? I don’t rate her
In fact I’d say I fucking hate her
And ‘R’-'n'-cunting-bastard-‘B’
Is nothing but a noise to me

There’s one thing I don’t understand
How in this talented, musical land
That Coldplay still make stacks of cash
Despite the fact they’re fucking gash…

And those ‘Movies’…Epic, Date, Disaster?
About as funny as being raped by a 7ft Rasta
Who pays to make these piles of shite?
Or goes to watch them any night?

…

And…

*deep breath*…

Cordon 'Bleurgh' and tiny portions
'Modern Art’ displaying abortions
Txtspk when it’s not required
Alan Sugar? – YOU’RE FUCKING FIRED!
Chavs in jeans that hang too low
That strictly fucking dancing show
Pete Doherty – his stupid hat
Ben Stiller – what a dead-eyed twat

I could go on and on and on
Until this question is long gone
But if we all had similar tastes
The world would be a boring place

So thanks to B3ta for these pages
That give us space to vent our rages
I’d say ‘don’t take this rant to heart’
But fuck it, let the flaming start!
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:29, 20 replies)

Flaming?
Only clicking from here. Brilliant.
(d371ght back again since, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:33, closed)

Superb.
*clicks many times*
( lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:35, closed)

*applauds*
Bravo, sir. Bravo.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:39, closed)

Fan-fucking-tastic
clicky...................
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:40, closed)

Somebody needs to put some cheesy music to this
and pitch it to Whitney Houston for her comeback tour. We're talking potential number one single here. click.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:44, closed)

damn you
i smell a best of
*clicks*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:50, closed)

KICKARSE!
What they said up there!
(Meganinja, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:40, closed)

this is most excellent
:D
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:48, closed)

Doffs Cap
Nicely done
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:53, closed)

awesome!
even if you don't agree with all the opinions, you can't argue with the poetic genie-arse.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 17:02, closed)

lol
You sir, are a fucking genius,
By making poetry from something tedious,
Your lyrical masterpiece, could be a number one hit,
And I'd do something similar, but I can't rhyme for shit.

*click..*
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 17:29, closed)

Full of win!
i glad something cheerful and funny has pipped my depressing rant to the preverbial

excellent work - we need a 'click twice' button
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:03, closed)

Very noble of you...

Thank you kindly sir.

For what it's worth - I think your post rocks damn hard
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 21:55, closed)

It's all already been said
and much better then the way I will.

Still, this post is full of wins.

*click*
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 23:00, closed)

I sense a disturbance in the Win
... as if millions of voices cried out in admiration ...
and clicked their mice
(mudskipper, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 7:14, closed)

Reply Award
Goes to you
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 9:54, closed)

So many bad things.....
listed together to make something soo good

I feel your pain and celebrate your rant

Stupendous effort *clickage aplenty
(MudButton does not mean to offend but......, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:19, closed)

Bravo!
Bravo, sir...Bravo!
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Mon 19 Oct 2009, 22:28, closed)

I hope this wins.

FG
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 11:24, closed)

Bravo
adds another click
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 14:35, closed)