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This is a question I don't understand the attraction

Smaug says: Ricky Gervais. Lesbian pr0n. Going into a crowded bar, purely because it's crowded. All these things seem to be popular with everybody else, but I just can't work out why. What leaves you cold just as much as it turns everyone else on?

(, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:54)
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What’s the deal…?

What’s the deal with Harry Potter?
I bet he likes it up the jotter
Dan Brown’s shit sells by the tonne
& Obama’s peace prize? – what’s he done?

Those 'talent' shows that please the plebs
And spaff out more ‘Z’ list celebs
To pack the pages of ‘Hello’
With wankers I don’t want to know.

ipod, iphone, and i-whatever,
They think they sound so fucking clever
They’d sell a crabs-infested cunt
If someone put ‘i’ at the front

And 'supermodels'?...I've never tried ‘em
(Although they could do with some meat inside ‘em)
Those stick-thin girls don’t float my boat
They’d snap in half against my scrote

Amy Whinehouse? I don’t rate her
In fact I’d say I fucking hate her
And ‘R’-'n'-cunting-bastard-‘B’
Is nothing but a noise to me

There’s one thing I don’t understand
How in this talented, musical land
That Coldplay still make stacks of cash
Despite the fact they’re fucking gash…

And those ‘Movies’…Epic, Date, Disaster?
About as funny as being raped by a 7ft Rasta
Who pays to make these piles of shite?
Or goes to watch them any night?


*deep breath*…

Cordon 'Bleurgh' and tiny portions
'Modern Art’ displaying abortions
Txtspk when it’s not required
Chavs in jeans that hang too low
That strictly fucking dancing show
Pete Doherty – his stupid hat
Ben Stiller – what a dead-eyed twat

I could go on and on and on
Until this question is long gone
But if we all had similar tastes
The world would be a boring place

So thanks to B3ta for these pages
That give us space to vent our rages
I’d say ‘don’t take this rant to heart’
But fuck it, let the flaming start!
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:29, 20 replies)
Only clicking from here. Brilliant.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:33, closed)
*clicks many times*
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:35, closed)
Bravo, sir. Bravo.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:39, closed)
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:40, closed)
Somebody needs to put some cheesy music to this
and pitch it to Whitney Houston for her comeback tour. We're talking potential number one single here. click.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:44, closed)
damn you
i smell a best of
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:50, closed)
What they said up there!
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:40, closed)
this is most excellent
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:48, closed)
Doffs Cap
Nicely done
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:53, closed)
even if you don't agree with all the opinions, you can't argue with the poetic genie-arse.
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 17:02, closed)
You sir, are a fucking genius,
By making poetry from something tedious,
Your lyrical masterpiece, could be a number one hit,
And I'd do something similar, but I can't rhyme for shit.

(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 17:29, closed)
Full of win!
i glad something cheerful and funny has pipped my depressing rant to the preverbial

excellent work - we need a 'click twice' button
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:03, closed)
Very noble of you...

Thank you kindly sir.

For what it's worth - I think your post rocks damn hard
(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 21:55, closed)
It's all already been said
and much better then the way I will.

Still, this post is full of wins.

(, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 23:00, closed)
I sense a disturbance in the Win
... as if millions of voices cried out in admiration ...
and clicked their mice
(, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 7:14, closed)
Reply Award
Goes to you
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 9:54, closed)
So many bad things.....
listed together to make something soo good

I feel your pain and celebrate your rant

Stupendous effort *clickage aplenty
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:19, closed)
Bravo, sir...Bravo!
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 22:28, closed)
I hope this wins.

(, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 11:24, closed)
adds another click
(, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 14:35, closed)

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