Tofu
Most people who are forced to eat Tofu by their veggie friends complain that it is weird tasteless goop. It is very simple to cook tofu and make it edible.

Make sure you buy firm or very firm tofu, don't get that "for smoothies" shite. Then drain all the water out of the block of tofu and cut it up into small cubes.

Now this is the really important bit. Put it in a frying pan with a shit-tonne of oil and fry the fuck out of it. Tofu by itself is fat free, therefore to make it taste nice we need to introduce a large source of fat through the frying (I have made the suggestion of using goose fat, but most of the veggie friends don't like this idea). Once all the oil/butter/fat is soaked up, the tofu will be crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. And it actually works as an alternative to meat in pasta and stir-fry dishes.

So that's you can enjoy healthy fat-free tofu.
(slickback, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 19:53, 11 replies)

The best way to prepare tofu...
...is to get it nice and firm, prepare a really HOT pan, then throw the tofu in the bin and have a fucking steak, you limp-wristed, pale faced fussy eater.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 19:57, closed)

I really don't understand what b3ta has against vegans/veggies.
Yeah I'v heard the joke 'how do you know a vegans a vegan blah blah'...but honestly you could say that all gays are really effeminate... you only notice the effeminate ones because the seemingly ordinary looking gays don't appear gay.
Not all vegans/veggies are self righteous fucktards, and most are fit as a fiddle.
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Sat 30 Jun 2012, 1:16, closed)

I'm impressed that your stick-thin wrists could stand up to typing such a long post.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 1 Jul 2012, 16:54, closed)

Outside my office there is a guy selling deep-fried sticks of tofu - it's pretty much junk food.
People do as many things with it as we do with milk / yoghurt / cheese etc - including often serving it with meat.
The western attitude to it just seems stupid. "I'm not going to eat it, it's not meat" - most edible things aren't meat. That's a real fussy eater.

(BTW, yes, I know you're trolling, AB, I'm guessing a good proportion of people reading this have this as their actual genuine opinion though)
( Zuowan, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 4:38, closed)

I hate tofu. ~pulls face~
It's like something scraped off someone's teeth and shaped into blocks. Eugh! Unfortunately for me I am a lettuce-munching veggie so it pops up a lot more than I'd like.

However, I will give the frying the fuck out of it a go... It'll make it easier to eat with my sister, who loves the stuff (the loony =P)
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 15:15, closed)

www.b3ta.com/questions/cookbook/post1657735
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:40, closed)

Or do what the Chinese do and stuff it with minced fatty pork.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 15:19, closed)

I don't get the veggie-bashing either, most of the vegans I know are into body building and martial arts and could easily kick the shit out of most B3TA pasty geeks
I don't miss eating animal body parts and secretions at all.

As for tofu, cube it, stir in oil and soy sauce and bake it (gas mark 5) for 20-30 mins. Then use it in all sorts of things. It goes chewy, with a tasty skin.
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 15:39, closed)

www.b3ta.com/questions/cookbook/post1657735
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:40, closed)

'most of the vegans I know are into body building and martial arts and could easily kick the shit out of most B3TA pasty geeks'
This is possibly the most 'QOTW' thing I have ever read on here.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 1 Jul 2012, 16:56, closed)

I once thought like you, before my master took me under his wing and taught me the joys of soy and origami.
Concentration begins in the mind, and spreads to all the extremities of the body. You must use the language of the body, not the tongue! And the language of the body begins with raw, uncooked, organic vegetables. Just look at me, I could tear a phone-book in half with my bare toes!
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:33, closed)