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Smash Monkey asks: "what's the creepiest thing you've seen, heard or felt? What has sent shivers running up your spine and skidmarks running up your undercrackers? Tell us, we'll make it all better"
( , Thu 7 Apr 2011, 13:57)
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as shit-your-pants-scary.
I'm standing in the bathtub/shower of my 1 bedroom flat in East Perth circa 1996/97. Since the dingy old flat has no extractor fans anywhere - when you have a shower all the walls and ceiling get wet from condensation.
A big, fuckoff (dinner-plate) sized Hunstman spider loses her footing in the wet & lands directly on my noggin. I brush whatever it was that landed on my head into the tub and end up face 2 face something like this
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I was a bit stinky for a while after that....
EDIT: for the arachnophiles out there -I don't think I hurt her as she laid an egg cache a few weeks later.
( , Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:17, 16 replies)
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Not a nice image first thing in the morning.
( , Tue 12 Apr 2011, 10:16, closed)
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Sitting under a tree waiting to go and play cricket when this THING clatters down onto the bench next to me. At first I thought a glove had fallen from the tree. (This seemed a lot more likely than it seems, as we just don't have shit like this in the UK). But then the glove walked off into the bushes and I probably shit myself. As for being in the shower with one, bollocks to that!
It was later edxplained to me that they're not too poisonous and that a bite 'would be just like a bee sting'. All very well, but given a choice between being stung by a bee, and NOT stung by a bee....I'll go gor the latter thanks.
( , Tue 12 Apr 2011, 11:10, closed)
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it'll be the sharks, jellyfish, snakes or any number of other killing machines. My mate who emigrated to Australia keeps asking me to come out to visit him. Fuck that .... I ain't going.
( , Tue 12 Apr 2011, 12:21, closed)
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visiting them while I was backpacking a while back I went to the beach. Warning signs everywhere. 'Do Not Swim Here', 'Beware Crocodiles', 'Beware Jellyfish' and even more scarier, 'Beware falling Coconuts', all with the number of 'known' deaths over the last few years. 'Christ almighty' I thought....'even the fruit here can kill you!!'
( , Tue 12 Apr 2011, 12:23, closed)
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But how do you know? It didn't stay in the shower for over two weeks did it? Why didn't you kill it immediately? I'm sure if something like that got into my shower, my ninja training would kick in and I'd squash it Woody Allen style, flailing a tennis racket, hopping about on my toes and crying.
( , Tue 12 Apr 2011, 13:06, closed)
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picked her up with a large bowl and flat board, placed her on my balcony & ran inside and locked the door!
I didn't kill the spider because @ heart I'm an animal lover (DON'T go there...) but spiders especially. I generally won't kill an animal unless it's lethal and unsafe. I'll kill redbacks on sight as thet hide in all sorts of nooks and crannies and a bite could easily kill 1 of my little girls.
( , Tue 12 Apr 2011, 22:34, closed)
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I think if I lived in Australia I'd be a nervous wreck!
( , Wed 13 Apr 2011, 11:04, closed)
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I clicked End to get to the bottom of the page to find stories I'd not read yet, and that suddenly appeared! I screamed out loud. =O
( , Tue 12 Apr 2011, 15:13, closed)
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The one I'm talking about was bigger and darker. Never a camera with you in the shower when you need 1 is there?!
( , Tue 12 Apr 2011, 22:36, closed)
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can grow to ELEVEN INCHES ACROSS
:(
I'm never travelling. Ever
( , Tue 12 Apr 2011, 22:33, closed)
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...we were in the boat heading to the dive site, when one of these fuckers crawled out of my (stored in a dusty old shed) lifejacket and onto my face.
I screamed like a girl and threw it over the side. Sorry spider.
( , Wed 13 Apr 2011, 2:42, closed)
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She told me the tale of how she'd got a jerry can out of the shed to top up her lawnmower. She'd just tipped it up when a huntsman shot out of the spout, ran up her arm and into her hair.
Eep.
A day or two later she asked me to sharpen a lawnmower blade for her. I was fine with this until she took me to that same shed and turned on the bench grinder. The whole shed was reverberating. The fear of enraged spiders emerging from every corner of the place was frankly crippling. I'm still not sure whether it was a wind-up or not, Aussies are a bit funny that way...
( , Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:21, closed)
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of spider leg. I then had to scroll back up the page and take a few deep breaths before I could scroll down again.. I now feel sick.
( , Wed 13 Apr 2011, 17:21, closed)
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