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This is a question Cunning Plans

I once devised a totally foolproof cunning plan to attract the attention of bikini-clad women, which - as you might imagine - failed miserably. Ever come up with a cunning plan for something? Did it work? What went wrong? Do you look back through the filter of the years with a burning sense of shame?

Suggested by Ring of Fire

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:57)
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Laundry? Hah!
I am an incredibly routine-bound sort of person. I have always preferred plain black clothing, being one of nature's goths. I am also lazy. And cheap. So I found a place that stocked T-shirts that fitted me from their kids' section (I'm 6' but thin, non-baggy clothing is hard to find) where clothes happen to generally be half-price compared to their adult counterparts and if you ask for a deal buying a lot at once, you'll get one.

I have 30 plain black T-shirts (and quite a few plain black longer tops for winter). 30 pairs of socks. 30 pairs of underpants. I have a very large washing machine. Guess how often I do laundry? No separation of colours required, either. Shirts get a cold, dark-friendly-detergent wash and generally only have 12 washes a year, so they've lasted practically forever (although I'm scouting out replacements at the moment).

I do draw some comments from colleagues for the first few days at any given workplace, but I'm perfectly okay with that, and if I were to change my style, I'd draw even more comments anyway.
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 7:19, 34 replies)
I do this as well
but that doesn't make either of us right.
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 9:15, closed)
Are the comments from colleagues
about you not wearing any trousers?
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 11:29, closed)
Those don't get washed.

(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 12:46, closed)
Just awed kowtowing.
actually, I do have a few pairs of black jeans.
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 13:04, closed)

Dont you just end up with 30 shades of grey ?
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 11:39, closed)
They have faded a little.
Some more than others. The really dark ones are reserved for special occasions.
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 13:05, closed)
If everything that goes though your machine is black anyway, chuck a bit of Dylon in your next wash :)

(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 13:47, closed)
I share a machine with housemates.
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 14:23, closed)
A sheet of colour catcher should settle their hash

(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 15:57, closed)
Why would doing his laundry involve reading crappy soft porn?

(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 18:24, closed)
Or a deluded, self-important blog written by an ex-b3tan.

(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 22:04, closed)
When can there ever be an "ex-b3tan"?
That's like describing a dead person as "someone formerly living".
Anyhoo - linky plz.
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 23:16, closed)
Ask Rory, he's the author's number one fan.

(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 20:52, closed)

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 15:49, closed)
Partially because they're 0 VAT rated
I wonder if this is technically tax fraud.
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 18:08, closed)
I've suddenly realised what about 10 of my friends have been doing for the past few years.
Although knowing them, possibly without the washing part.
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 19:47, closed)
wait, you wash your shirts once a month?
whether they need it or not, right?
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:46, closed)
When they need it.
I wear fresh underthings and shirts every day.
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 1:16, closed)
When you say 'when they need it'...
...do you mean 'when I throw them against the wall and they stick'?
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 10:45, closed)
It helps if you can use basic maths, Janet

(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 10:20, closed)
She's made the basic error in Internet Maths of assuming that its going to wear one shirt a day...

(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 11:37, closed)
They could of course be wearing one shirt for a whole month then choose to wash it along with the other 29 unworn shirts
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 14:13, closed)
My guess would be "never".
And what your colleagues really want to say is "Patchouli oil doesn't disguise the stench of cock and pit-rot, you absolute rank cunt."
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:53, closed)
Eh, it's a hard one to judge
He didn't say his cock was minging, just his clothes. I guess it's a logical conclusion...
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 22:34, closed)
Nothing like the lovely used latex smell of a fleshlight eh, Shambo?

(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 10:45, closed)
You are Neo
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:51, closed)

You're not Mick from 'borough are you? He used to dress like that (admittedly 30 years ago but probably still rolling that way). He only wore black, even had one of those Swatch watches with black face, black numbers and black hands.
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 1:10, closed)
Unless my name changed and "'borough" is Australia
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 1:23, closed)
Although not a creature of habit at all
I have about 20 pairs of Black Levi 501s. The lack of creativity is more about laziness than anything else.

Every 6 months or so I pull out the most faded ones and send them to the dry cleaners and get them dyed black again.

Some of them are more than 15 years old.
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 8:30, closed)
When I find a comfy pair of shoes
I go out and buy another pair to archive for when the first pair eventually die.
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 8:53, closed)
I do this too.
Combat boots, as it happens.
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 13:13, closed)

This would cost me a bit more than replacing the cheap jeans I buy every year or two.
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 13:20, closed)
so the months of July, May etc, are tricky months
Where as in February you throw caution to the wind and live like a king?
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 11:20, closed)
Well, really every 21 or 28
So it's usually on a weekend. Winter is more likely to be 21 as the other, warmer clothes add to the bulk.
(, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 13:14, closed)

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