Desperate TimesStranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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I'm sure I'm not aloneFourteen years old and still no opportunity to get in a girl's pants, I fashioned a vagina using my inventiveness, a tall glass and some cold baked beans. Then I had sexual intercourse with the baked beans.
I haven't eaten them since that time. The smell just... well, it brings back memories. Oddly enough, I feel a frisson of wrongness each time I see the name Heinz.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 11:05, 14 replies)
hahahathere are some really fucked up answers to this question, yours ranks very highly.
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 11:09,
closed)
Well...Apparently, the closest you'll get is a milk bottle filled with chopped liver.
I read this in an autobiography, but have always been somewhat confused by it. Milk bottles have pretty thin necks, at least in the UK.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 11:17, closed)
Mr. Spencer,your stories have titillated me, entertained me and finally compelled me to bugger a tin of pineapple.
I salute you (squishily)
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 11:18, closed)
ClumsyeloquenceI believe *ahem* that they refer to a Tetrapak milk carton opened out fully, then topped up with chopped liver and microwaved to warm it up a bit.
I swear that I have never done anything like this in my life.
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M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 11:35,
closed)
I heard the liver thing as well.Only question I have... Who the hell found that out in the first place?
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 13:48, closed)
AhThanks for clearing that up for me.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:00, closed)
couldnt youhave slightly warmed them up? would have made more sense.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:22, closed)
warming upMicrowave heating can lead to hot spots and I might've burned my bell. Warming them in a pan would lead to questions:
"Why are warming beans at 11.00pm, son?"
"So I can fuck them"... etc.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:46, closed)
pointtaken
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 15:58, closed)
"I haven't eaten them since that time"You still have that glass of beans?
Euwwwww.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 16:45, closed)
This might be the worst thing i've ever readi have a complete aversion to baked beans, especially cold ones.
they
disgust
me
i can't imagine moseone willingly sticking any part of them in a container of cold ones, especially not their...their...i can't even think it let aline write it!
Ic ick ick ick
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 23:02, closed)
Sexually unrelated,but Stonehenge 1987, and I hadn't eaten for a few days. Starving Marvin, tripping my face off, and I ate a tin of cold baked beans, out the tin, with my fingers. Acid, and cold baked beans. Wow. Still think about it.
WTF is it about beans. I'm sure there could be a QOTW about this particular food.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 8:28, closed)
more beansmy friends cousin was camping one time and had left some beans out side her tent open the night before. she woke up hungry, and stuck her hand out of the tent to grab the beans and someone had shat in her tin, and she put her hand right in it!
i have major problems with the train of thought that led to this.
eating beans
eaing cold beans
eating stuff that been left open outside a tent all night.
and then there's putting your hand in shite.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 8:39, closed)
This is defqotw stuff.
And if not, there's general pulses; butter beans, kidney beans, chick peas. Or am i just sad.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 11:49, closed)
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