Vaginas
The first time I saw one, I thought 'Why would I possibly want to put my willy in THAT?'

It's not stopped me from doing so, but the fact is that human genitalia is not really that attractive, is it?
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:20, 51 replies)

Some of em taste good though
so they're a wee bit like an artichoke or a pineapple. Fucking terrifying to look at but worth the struggle for the goodness inside - Yummy!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:24, closed)

ah, that "last chicken in the shop" look
our reproductive organs are quite repulsive, but that's what light switches are for.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:26, closed)

Hey!
Your dicks are hardly one of mother nature's better designs.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:27, closed)

But now your'e suggesting
that pr0n is just two ugly things banging up against each other. AND I LOVE PR0N! This has to stop.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:28, closed)

@BGB
I disagree! There are some fine specimens out there.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:29, closed)

@BGB
I disagree - it's a very good design, which allows peeing with (some) directional ability, then more interesting use when it stiffens up.

Except for the banjo string. I think that's one aspect that could be improved.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:30, closed)

There's a reason
it's called "bumping uglies".
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:31, closed)

@BGB
Note that I said 'Human genitals'.

Not specifically female ones.

But with my teenage hormones in full flow, I kind of expected the object of my desires to be, well, pretty.

Like a mural. Or a beautiful sunset.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:32, closed)

^
+1 on Banjo String
(Snuffy114 demands a cyber razor cut, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:32, closed)

@TRL
That's a US expression. Where I come from, we think it rather beautiful and try to do it often.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:33, closed)

In a strictly hetro way...
In the right situation, they ALL look pretty damn good (male and female)

EDIT: OK, I read that and it doesn't look right. What I mean is both* partners genitalia look pretty good when you're getting down and dirty...

* or all 3 :)
( snee held his breath since, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:34, closed)

What you ladies want is a circumcised penis
For the lack of banjo string
( Thinker, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:35, closed)

@Thinker
Higher risk of infection and decreased sensitivity? No ta.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:39, closed)

@Thinker
yeah, they taste better.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:41, closed)

I've only heard rumours about these so-called 'vagina' things...

Is it true that they have teeth?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:42, closed)

@ CHCB
Hygiene issues. Now if you make sure they're clean and dip em in a glass of something grape-y, they all taste good.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:42, closed)

Higher risk of infection?
Decreased sensitivity? According to who? I've only once ever gotten a bladder infection and it's quite sensitive enough as it is. Sounds like a load of Pravda from the anti-circumcision lobbyists to me...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:43, closed)

@baz
less chewey skin, was what I was thinking. I like your line of thought with the grape-y stuff though, especially if it's cold and fizzy.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:43, closed)

@chcb
You chew em? Don't fancy that much and fizzy may translate into stingy when applied to trouser flesh.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:45, closed)

I guess circumcised ones are better looking.
And flavoured lubes make it feel as though your sucking on a lollypop : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:45, closed)

@TRL
How do you know how sensitive it COULD be?

The thing is that the foreskin is there for a reason. It's a natural lubricating sheath that cleans and guards against infection. Why remove it (unless you need to for medical reasons)?
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:45, closed)

Ahem
MUCH lower risk of infection.


And knob-cheese.

And let's face it - a soupcon of decreased sensitivity can work in your (and your young fancy-woman's) favour, non?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:46, closed)

@baz
no, no chewing, but the temptation is always there, right under my nose.
The fizzy works just fine. Well, they never scream. Much.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:48, closed)

re: knob cheese
Do you not shower?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:48, closed)

Unlike in the USA
Circumcision is not the norm in Britain. A couple of mates have had it done, and one told me that his "bell-end is like leather" now.

Not an attractive mental image.

And CHCB - given suitable cleaning, I wouldn't think there would be a difference in taste?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:48, closed)

Well, I've never had knob cheese
or a snapped banjo string or any of the other things that I've heard tales of on here. And I don't think I'd want it to be more sensitive- premature ejaculation is something I'd prefer to avoid, if ya know what I mean...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:49, closed)

I was joking about the taste, really,
although there's something more... er... palatable about a circumcised one. (That's based on a sample size of two without and a larger number with teh skin attached.)

Neither way made any difference whatsoever when mimsy-action commenced.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:52, closed)

plus when happy hat is engaged
it should make fuck all difference really, no?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:53, closed)

I always think a bit of jewellery down there makes it much prettier to the eye.
And I do prefer circumcised now I've tried one.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:54, closed)

@CHCB
Is your gaz inbox exploding yet with offers to increase the statistical significance of your survey?

*suppresses urge to gaz*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:54, closed)

@K2k6
I take my experiments very seriously. There would have to be strict controlled conditions.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:57, closed)

^Strict.
As in leather whips and gimp masks.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:59, closed)

^^
This wouldn't be like, Annabel Chong controlled conditions?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:00, closed)

Circumcision: The Last word?

Enjoy.

www.b3ta.com/questions/toomuchinformation/post89173
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:02, closed)

Smeg
If you actually wash the fucker, you won't get any.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:03, closed)

Thinking about it
You wouldn't suck an ice lolly without taking the paper off.

Hmmmm....

*considers circumcision*

*remembers Pooflake's story*

*decides against it*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:06, closed)

"Human genitalia is not really that attractive"
As opposed to what kind of genitalia?

Is there some kind of sexy animal genitalia that we....

...wait...this is b3ta. I take that back.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:25, closed)

Kitty...
You had to ask, didn't you?


( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:27, closed)

Hahahah
That actually made me laugh out loud. Haven't done that for a while, now my colleagues are remembering why they thought I was unbalanced in the first place. Cheers!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:28, closed)

Well, Cap'n Wilkins
Was made for moments like that.
*grins*
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:31, closed)

This missus once put her fingernail through my tip and it bled... alot
wondering if its because its had a sheltered life? Maybe a circumcised leather penis has its advantages
(Snuffy114 demands a cyber razor cut, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:32, closed)

shit
a bell-end like leather?

i never knew that would happen.

can it be polished to a proper patent level of shiny?

that would be worth having the op for.

do you think with effort, and a lot of time, you could shine it up like a conker?

That would scare my mrs, and would be well worth doing.
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:33, closed)

I've never seen it
but I'm imagining it's more suede than patent.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:37, closed)

^
wet or dry suede?
(Snuffy114 demands a cyber razor cut, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:37, closed)

mmm
i think i really want a conker cockend.

not sure how to go about it now.

@k2k6 you should really ask your mate if it is conker-ous and check his expression carefully. it may give the whole game away. i think there is more to this than he is telling
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:39, closed)

genius
i am going to wait for autumn, hollow out a real conker and place it on before sexytime and see if she notices.

if that entertains me enough i may go for a permanent conker.

i would also be able to say "hung like a horse (chestnut)" and be truthful
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:41, closed)

Hopefully
it would be dry when he was in my presence.

I was speaking to him last night, but never thought to ask that particular question, funnily enough.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:42, closed)

Circumcision
Cutting off your lace curtain seems about as sensible as cutting off your eyelids. Yes, there's nowhere for nasties to accumulate, but on the other hand the important bit that's supposed to be covered ends up all dried up and weathered...
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:44, closed)

Male circumcision is just as bad as female circumcision.
They both involve lopping off sensitive chunks of anatomy in the name of magic (by which I mean religion and the 'but it's unhygienic' argument, which I must attribute to magic as it certainly makes no rational sense. If so, the human race would have died out in great sweeping plagues of cock-rot and mimsy-mange by now.)

Female circumcision is seen as such a taboo whilst the male equivalent is seen as a joke because, with the latter:
- we're more familiar with it in the West.
- it's usually done to babies who have forgotten the pain by the time they're able to complain.
- it doesn't fit in with the whole 'men = oppressobastards' thing.

If I had been circumcised, I'd have sued the still-warm arse off of everyone involved by now. I haven't got much in this world, but at least I still come (f'narr!) with all my original bits and pieces.
(moglin shall make you writhe in her cage of torment on, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:13, closed)

YES!
Good work moglin.

My theory is "it's there for a reason, it's part of me, so leave it the fuck alone".
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:21, closed)

Increase risk of infection?
Not had a single infection since I got it removed, used to get alot before though...
Damn phimosis.
They reckon it gives you a little bit more resistance to the HIV virus since it doesn't have the receptors anymore. On that note, I wouldn't test out that theory.
(Deadjinx, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 22:43, closed)