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This is a question Dodgy work ethics

Chthonic asks: What's the naughtiest thing a boss has ever asked you to do? And did you do it? Or perhaps you are the boss and would like to confess.

(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:36)
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Since "a fool and his money are soon parted"
Is there really any shame in expediating the process?
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 14:27, 53 replies)
You cruel man.

(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 14:37, closed)
No no - fuck YOU:
(?), v. t. [Cf. F. expdier. See Expedite.] To hasten; to expedite. [Obs.] "To expediate their business." Sir E. Sandys.
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 14:49, closed)
I prefer my definition.

(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:10, closed)

Give me $5k and I'll tell you..
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 15:26, closed)
Since "there's one born every minute"
is there really any shame in child trafficking?

After all, "there's no rest for the wicked" and "tide and time wait for no man".
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:08, closed)
As I said yesterday, money is finite, people aren't. We're taught to labour under the misaprehension that human life is important.

The hypocrisy of claiming this while still happy to use stuff we know exploits and cheapens human life elsewhere on the planet is, of course, risible, but hey ho that's how it goes, fuck everyone else as long as I get what I want.
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:06, closed)

(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:55, closed)
I like Tim Minchin - does that make me fashionable or unfashionable?
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:09, closed)

(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:32, closed)
The other week a friend of mine was telling me about this course he was going on to learn how to play the stock market well
I distinctly remember asking him if he was sure that it wasn't a scam

It cost him £2000

I think it was a scam
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:05, closed)
Yes and no.
Some people do seem to fall over themselves to try to give away their money to people peddling get-rich schemes. It's hard to see one of them being taken in as a bad thing.
However, having to spend your life assuming every job agency is crooked, every email is a scam, and everyone is trying to screw you gets tiring -- but not doing so could be a lot more so.
In conclusion: just hope to fuck you're the cleverest person you ever meet -- because if everyone had that attitude you'd be fucked otherwise.
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:24, closed)
You have just invented something.
You should call it "The system that allows one to gain goods and services in exchange for tokens of future value".
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:26, closed)
I'm pointing out that the only thing stopping someone wiping you off this planet is a sense of moral standards. Preying on the weak is an atavistic trait which still works -- but it's holding back humanity and making us live like pathetic little pond scum.
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:16, closed)
or the fear of getting caught, as it's also known.
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:28, closed)
I take it all your friends have shoved your toothbrush up their arse every time they stay?
Do they plant hidden cameras to see your missus nude too? How about feeding you dog and cat shit to find out how it affects you?
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 21:09, closed)
I certainly hope so. They wouldn't be very good friends if they didn't.

(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 22:39, closed)
No it's not, it's because they're too frightened of getting caught.
EDIT: Piss.

But - "it's holding bahumanity" is a jolly noble thing to say, but sadly misguided. If it were holding us back so much, you would have freed us from it. Or we would have.

But actually, it's not holding us back at all. It's just what we're like.
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:30, closed)
Hey, I admit defeat to the atavistic scum.
Doesn't make it any less wasteful or pathetic.
Edit: You've also told me I ought to hurt, kill, maim, or otherwise get ahead of you in the event that we meet.
Yes, I'll admit I'd rather give up the opportunity to carve someone to pieces in order to have an easier life -- but it's not the only reason I don't rape, kill, torture, rob and otherwise take advantage of people.
You may not take the unspoken pact not to kill when given the opportunity seriously, but I do.
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 20:02, closed)

(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 23:29, closed)
Indeed - it's called competition - what we're doing right now - waving our willies to prove who's the best.
The willy-waving, of course, takes various forms.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 9:45, closed)
Hence the old saying
"a cock in the hand is worth two in the eye"
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 9:49, closed)

(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 10:03, closed)
That's bullshit
So called "moral standards" have been holding us back for years, in nature, the strong and adaptable survive, yet our western culture demands that we protect those would not survive under any other circumstance. The politically correct crap we now endure, tries to force all of us to the lowest common denominator, we encourage people to breed that really shouldn't be alive. Watch any nature doco and they won't interfere with nature as it runs it's course, but as soon as it involves the human species, they'll move heaven & earth to make then survive.
At this rate it shouldn't be too long before another species overtakes our evolution,which shouldn't be too hard, since as we're going backward.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 7:02, closed)
^ I wonder how many of these sorts of comments
are just trolls or trying to be ironic.

It's getting increasingly hard to tell, and I can't help but wonder whether people are genuinely becoming proto-nazi eugenecists. Though to be fair, if you genuinely hold such views, it's quite likely that you suffer from some sort of empathy disorder, and are probably a psychopath, a borderline, a narcissist, or all three.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 9:32, closed)
"Empathy disorder"?! Pffft.
So that's you off to Africa now to donate all your time, energy and cash to the starving.

What's that? You're not?

Oh. Must be some kind of empathy disorder.

You like having nice things - admit it. You don't care about who was abused in the making of them, or what resources were used, or you wouldn't get them.

So throw another laptop on the fire and let's watch the fucker burn, eh?
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 9:48, closed)
'Cos either it's a perfect, universal, inviolable ethical and moral system or IT'S NOTHING!

(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 9:51, closed)
Well this is it.
We ARE burning the world, happily, in exchange for shiny, pretty things, and yet claiming to object to burning it.

Seems a bit silly, bordering on the hypocritical.

Personally, however, I couldn't give a toss - penguins burn with a particularly lovely flame, as do polar bears.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 10:02, closed)
Definitely hypocritical, just bordering on silly.
I'm always happy to agree that westerners are benefitting from the suffering of the poorest and most miserable.

We get to live these blissful, ignorant lives, pissing and moaning about bullshit while there are people in the Niger Delta who are still essentially slaves, exploited and oppressed but underpinning the whole global system.

Call me a massive gay if you want, but I think this means we should care more about people, try and build a sustainable, exploitation-free future, even though it will bring hardship to the west. Politicians aren't bastards, they just defend national interests, 'cos that's what people demand. People are selfish, hypocritical, short-sighted bastards, and if they are readers of certain tabloids, they feel hard done by to boot. I say fuck 'em. Morality is what we make it. Nature and fortune didn't make us equal, but if we actually wanted equality, and would pay the price, there's no reason why we couldn't have it. *rant over*
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 10:26, closed)

(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 10:48, closed)
When I was checking the spelling of the word 'hypocritical'
I saw this quote from Samuel Johnson:

"Nothing is more unjust, however common, than to charge with hypocrisy him that expresses zeal for those virtues which he neglects to practice; since he may be sincerely convinced of the advantages of conquering his passions, without having yet obtained the victory, as a man may be confident of the advantages of a voyage, or a journey, without having courage or industry to undertake it, and may honestly recommend to others, those attempts which he neglects himself."

I'm not gay, but I would definitely fuck Dr. Johnson. (Fetch me a shovel)
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 10:54, closed)
Yeah, see - I don't hold Johnson in such regard.
Tired of London and life, and all that (or whatever it was "London has all the myriad pleasures that life has to offer"). He was quite full of himself.

I just suppose I've met too many sanctimonious twats evangelising about the naughtiness of it all from the comfort of their centrally-heated flats while eating organically-sourced lentils flown in from Mexico that very day.

The irony of having a placard saying "Save the environment" that's printed on cardboard and nailed onto wood is hilariously depressing.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 11:00, closed)
Bloody hell
did Vith Form debate class let out early today?
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 11:02, closed)
Vith Form?
Is that Darth Vader with a lisp or something?
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 11:07, closed)
I believe it's Roman Text Speak.

(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 11:11, closed)
Sure you're not thinking of V 4M?

(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 11:26, closed)
I don't take vitamin supplements.

(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 11:28, closed)

(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 11:33, closed)
Sorry, but I hate The Vitamins Cong
You weren't there man, you don't know.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 11:55, closed)
Ah, Glastonbury.

(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 12:17, closed)
it can't all be knob jokes and Honda Accord stories

(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 11:20, closed)
Oh yes it can.

(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 13:35, closed)
How about we go with the empathy disorder
since as I have no desire to kill them all myself, I would just like our regulators to let them to kill themselves through their own stupidity. We should embrace natural selection in this overpopulated world.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 12:31, closed)
I think the reason scams work so well
is because about eighty percent of the population think they are the cleverest person they'll ever meet.

Cf. people on the internet who believe in more of a "survival of the fittest" way of life.
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 21:40, closed)
Survival of the fittest is actually how it works.
Whether that fitness be financial, physical, or influencial.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 10:50, closed)
Let me just check
On expedia.com
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:28, closed)
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:54, closed)
Not always
Extended warranties act as an idiot tax
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:06, closed)
So does the lottery.

(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:27, closed)
/\ 166 million worth of idiot?/\

(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:39, closed)
On the National Lottery,
50% of the ticket cost goes in the prize pot. So the average return on investment will be -50%. But it's actually lower than that due to the number of unclaimed prizes. And as for the charity side of things, I'm white, straight, with an okay job and no disabilities, so I'm not going to see a penny of that.

Oh, and if I wanted to give money to charity, I'd do it more directly.

The ultimate idiot tax? Religion.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 0:43, closed)
so does smoking
you're actually paying the government to kill yourself if you smoke. genius
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 20:28, closed)
Don't forget having children.
Slave masters love more slaves.
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 20:34, closed)

A fool and his money are some party!
(, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 23:05, closed)

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