howard from the halifax adverts
rape him. rape him with fire. i am sure he caused people to leave the halifax in droves and take their money/overdrafts to a bank that didn't have a small bald fuckwit singing shit at them.

paul daniels. may well be the least sexy man on the planet. seriously. i challenge anyone to think of a celeb they would less rather bone. instead let's rape him with fire and see how long it takes his magic to put it out.

richard whiteley. now, i know he's dead. but when he was alive he was such a smug grinning twat, you just know he used to fwap off to 12 year old girls' knickers or something equally socially acceptable. dig him up and rape his corpse back to death with fire.

ainsley harriott. i would like to be able to buy some nice couscous without him gurning at me like a freshly buggered schoolboy from the front of the box. rape him. rape him with fire roasted peppers.

ok, that's enough fiery non-consensual intercourse for one evening!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Feb 2010, 0:02, 6 replies)

Indeed
That Howard Brown guy (at least I think and hope that's meant to be his surname, according to one of the adverts) needs to be kicked in the nuts.

I was once walking through town and came across a billboard with his face on it to which I moaned:
'Oh no, not that Brown bastard!'

A few seconds later I noticed the horrified looks from my compatriots and realised what i'd just said and how it could be inferred. All was explained and hilarity ensued.
(Megamoss, Sun 7 Feb 2010, 1:00, closed)

Howard was just softening us up
for the onslaught of the "Halifax breakfast show" fuckwittery currently clogging up our ad breaks. The speccy cunt talking about "high fives" deserves a fire rape, whilst simultaneously being beaten about the face with a shipping container door.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Sun 7 Feb 2010, 14:19, closed)

Oh I don't know
I think with at least one of those mentioned it wouldn't be non-consensual.
( SteamedCleaner, Sun 7 Feb 2010, 15:48, closed)

Clicks for
"gurning at me like a freshly buggered schoolboy".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 7 Feb 2010, 20:02, closed)

I think this
is now going to be my new catchphrase....." dig him up and rape his corpse back to death with fire."
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 12:54, closed)

Ainsley Harriot was responsible for me getting my degree...
Seriously. Everytime he appeared on the telly, I turned it off and went and wrote a bit more. Still requires some intrusive anal pyrotechnics, though...
(Billy The Fish wants to gargle with Lucy Pinder's bath water, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 7:02, closed)