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This is a question Fantasists

Eddie Spunkbubble says: I used to know a sad case who fancied himself as a bit of a 007 and bragged that he always carried a loaded 9mm pistol in his attache case "just in case". Overheard by an off-duty copper, he was asked to make good on his claim. A packed lunch, red face and a stern warning "not to act the twat" and he never did it again. Tell us of Walter Mitty types.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 11:40)
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not really
I'm only pointlessly rude when it's pointless. When people are genuinely too much of a fucking crybaby to be allowed on the internet then I can rarely summon more than pity
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 16:08, 3 replies)
Hahahahahahahaha, "when people are genuinely too much of a fucking crybaby to be allowed on the internet"
Self-awareness isn't your strong suit, is it?
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 16:18, closed)
go and put optimus prime up some slag's bumhole
you hideous waste of skin
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 16:22, closed)
Haha, you make a joke about one whinging crybaby and another one comes along straight away

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 16:25, closed)
haha, you're AMAZING.
don't go changing.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 16:27, closed)
He would Janet
But your bumhole is too busy being used to voice your opinions
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 16:29, closed)
OH MAN IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE YOU ARE IMPLYING I TALK OUT OF MY BUMHOLE.
brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 16:31, closed)
Mr Kettle, I'd report that Mr Pot for racially abusing you if I were you.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 21:14, closed)
why is this soppy little herbert still replying to me twenty times a week?
does he fancy me or summat?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 23:04, closed)
It's because you've got the whole Optimus Prime, father figure thing going on.
So yes, probably.
(I helped save b3ta! gone, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 23:38, closed)
I preferred old hipster wannabe nerdgrot emvee
this new whiny puppydog emvee is dull as owt
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 7:51, closed)
or a half hearted wank
with your small penis
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 16:28, closed)
it's barely even worth the effort of jamming electrodes up my arse to get the rancid little worm semi-stiff these days

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 18:14, closed)
Point of order
I think you'll find I have posted here longer than you.

Just with less frequency and repressed bursting knob blister rage

Edit-this seems to be attached to the wrong fan comment, extra points if you can guess correctly to which it really belongs.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 21:43, closed)
I had stories on the front page of this ridiculous qftw shithole five years before you even signed up to b3ta, you dopey noob twat.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 21:56, closed)
I doubt the validity of your statement
Please provide proof
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 22:16, closed)
Are you pretending to be thick here? I don't get it.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 22:17, closed)
Pretending? Anyway, you seem to be on Goering's trail
Say it enough and it becomes fact.

We looked for proof and can find nothing more than a childishly drawn cartoon with no point.

Until you do, I now point the finger of noob upon you.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 22:30, closed)
there's a story in my profile from 2005 ... how shit at the internet are you?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 22:36, closed)
^ LIES ON THE INTERNET ^

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 22:43, closed)
Yes, hide away noob!
you have no currency here with your lies and deception
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 1:20, closed)
Be fair
Somehow your profile is a pictogram, so it is really hard to tell what you did in 2005.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 2:22, closed)
A shield for his pure lies

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 3:34, closed)
yerr ... it's well hard to turn off css in people's profiles innit lol

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 7:52, closed)
wake up to yourself mate
I can barely spell css, let alone manipulate it.

and no, it does not make you cool that you can.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 7:58, closed)
You're missing some hilarious stuff, like this gem from 2005:
First meeting with french in-laws I was galantly carrying all the luggage for me and the missus. This caused me to stumble when going in for the gallic kiss on the cheek and soundly headbutt her mother.
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:27, closed)
Hahahaha that is pretty awesome.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:46, closed)
the golden years when regulars from the real boards posted short anecdotes
I say 'years' ... I think it lasted about six weeks.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:52, closed)
Can I just mention my seniority here?
Thanks.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 10:13, closed)
totally
in fact you should probably demand that we all pay you homage
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 10:26, closed)
Doesn't everyone already?
Hop to it, bitches!
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 10:48, closed)
Hahahahahahahaha
Not upset, definitely not
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 22:58, closed)
you just know he is going to do an overnight delete

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 1:21, closed)
I've only ever deleted fairholme threads and he's sadly departed rip alwrz in are hart's

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:31, closed)
Hahaha, you are a fantasist aren't you?
You deleted a thread with me the other week just because you were losing, you massive crybaby twat
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 10:17, closed)
you know how 95% of your posts are replies to me telling me that I'm upset?
that's probably a good indication that you should take some time out from the internet and pull yourself together, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 10:32, closed)
I think it's a good indication that you shouldn't get so upset all the time

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 11:58, closed)
They don't put /qotw stories on the front page, Doc.
Unless you put together the greatest TOAP that this website has ever seen, I suppose.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 23:16, closed)
Appropriate for the qotw though
if only we could vote replies to win etc
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 23:31, closed)
Meta.
This /qotw is too deep, for me.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 23:35, closed)
can't tell if you're pretending to be dim or not, soz

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 7:56, closed)
Winning at /qotw is...
... nothing like winning, at all.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:06, closed)
god you're such a bully some times
any minute now I'm going to be upset online because emvee will say so
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:32, closed)
I do hope so.
It's so rare that anyone ever gets upset at me.
How long should I wait before threatening your children and getting myself stepped?
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 10:32, closed)
I think you need to post pictures of your own family first to prove how happy you are.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 10:58, closed)
I dropped my camera in my saline pit.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:16, closed)

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