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This is a question B3TA fixes the world

Moon Monkey says: Turn into Jeremy Clarkson for a moment, and tell us about the things that are so obviously wrong with the world, and how they should be fixed. Extra points for ludicrous over-simplification, blatant mis-representation, and humourous knob-gags.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:53)
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Pavement Lanes
There should be a white line along the length of every pavement in the town centre. On the shop side of the line, you are free to stop, chat, stare into shop windows, busk, stand around wondering what the hell you were supposed to be doing, smoke, and so on.

Conversely, on the other side of the line would be all the people who actually want to WALK ALONG THE FUCKING ROAD from one end to the other, without having to weave their way between three old ladies having the same conversation they've had every day since 1956, a group of 30 spanish schoolkids who don't seem to understand the concept of NOT BEING IN THE BLOODY WAY and a woman who seems to be transferring the entire contents of her shopping bags into her baby buggy.

Anyone who blocks the "moving" lane can be pushed into traffic with impunity. Wardens with electrified ferrets on a stick would patrol particularly busy streets, ensuring that things keep moving with well-aimed prods.
(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 17:26, 4 replies)
It may also be prudent
to introduce a one way only walking system - one pavement for up the road, the other for down.
(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 17:45, closed)
And introduce retractable, fatally sharp eight foot metal blades that appear from the ground for one second every five seconds at the top of escalators, in shop doorways, in front of tube maps and bus timetables, so tourists and the hard of consideration get chopped into lots of tiny pieces when they block the flow of people because they have no idea where to go for the Metropolitan Line/cheese counter/bar/etc. or because they decided that was the perfect time to start chatting to all their mates.
(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 17:54, closed)
Rather than a white line
How about a wall to stop slow walkers zig-zagging along the pavement and preventing others from passing them?
(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 21:06, closed)

Clicky for electified ferrets
(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 22:53, closed)

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