Rush.
Let me tell you about a new idea I had while waiting for a file of people to shuffle interminably down a disabled Underground travelator at 0.1mph the other day. I call it the, "IT'S RUSH HOUR, LET'S SEE SOME RUSHING" law. We may need a more marketable title before launch.

Firstly, every person in the country will be graded and sorted by their walking/crutching/wheelchairing speed and standard deviation from thereof. It sounds like a huge task but there are loads of CCTV cameras, I reckon we could just buy some Kinects from Game or something, plug them in to the surveillance system and do it with that way.

Once the database has been built, and left in a public place on a USB stick a few times for giggles, Phase Two will begin. Phase Two is when anybody whose travel speed is likely to dip below 3.5 miles per hour is BANNED from the pavements between the hours of 0830 to 0930 and 1700 to 1800. No exceptions. If they haven't reached their destination before the rushing sirens sound (which they won't have, because they walk too slow) they'll have to mill around in a shop or something repenting their lack of urgency. As a side effect, see, this law will help the struggling retail sector.

But the main benefit is that those of us who are efficient and have places to be will be able to get to them swiftly and with a minimum of fuss, and no more will the pavements of major cities resound to a chorus of tutting, "excuse me", and "IF YOU WEAVE THAT STUPID WHEELY LUGGAGE IN FRONT OF ME ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO HURL IT UNDER A BUS."
(Timberwolf, Sat 24 Sep 2011, 11:30, 1 reply)

The problem here is that you work in London.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 24 Sep 2011, 16:22, closed)