Bookshop
So. This month I've had a book on my reading list that's almost impossible to get hold of. I'm really interested in the subject, so I ordered it anyway from the surprisingly cute guy in my local book shop. He told me to check in three days.

Three days: no book. Smile of wan disappointment. Leave.
Four days: no book. Joke about Royal Mail. Leave.
Five days: Exchange greeting smiles. No book. Conversation about books. Leave.
Six days: Greet each other across the shop. He leaves his current customers to come and check the book's progress. No book. Long chat about Amazon vs. Ebay. Social web surfing.
Seven days: Customary greeting- by name. Customary customer abandonment. No book. I buy a novel to make his sales record better (and also because it looked like an amazing book.) He recommends buying from a competing store because "You passing the course is more important than a profit."

Now I don't have an excuse to go in there. So I'm asking- begging you, fellow QOTWers- recommend me some good, rare, hard to order books?
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:09, 33 replies)

Make one up.
I suggest you try "Dealing nymphomania, a hands-on approach".

That ought to do it.
( Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:11, closed)

Fly Fishing
...J....R...Hartley
(Corbo, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:12, closed)

Beat me to it...

( snee held his breath since, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:20, closed)

Coping With Chlamydia - A Practical Guide

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:13, closed)

to order books ... oh, do it youselves.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:16, closed)

Serious suggestion
The Education of Hyman Kaplan by Leo Rosten.

An incredibly funny bit of fiction but, in my experience, hard to track down. (And if it's not obscure enough then ask him for the sequel as well)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:16, closed)

Wasn't that by Mordecai Richler?
There may even have been a film


edit - sorry: I was thinking of Duddy Kravitz. But you knew that.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:38, closed)

Yeah, I think the furthest Hyman Kaplan got
was the dizzy heights of being serialised on Radio 4.

It was good though.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:50, closed)

The shame - wrong author, wrong book, wrong film.
But otherwise spot on.

what I was thinking of
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 10:14, closed)

I remember that one!
.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:52, closed)

Living in Mono's Bumhole
it's a classic
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:20, closed)

You could always try
This book
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:25, closed)

Well I am a music student
so I could get away with that one. ;)
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:59, closed)

This one might take a while to order.....
Malarkey or Effective way?
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:28, closed)

WTF?
What in the god's name is that book about?

Product Description

I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make love three times in succession without drawing out.

In addition, he also can have burned a strong beautiful fire within his abdomen. It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration.

If you don't know concentration which gives you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like a hell.
(mmm....beer, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 19:46, closed)

You mean you don't practice this?
better start.
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 13:25, closed)

Asking
for this should do the trick.
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:40, closed)

"I'd like some Dickens"
Or this.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:46, closed)

Perhaps just be honest and say you don't want a book.
You just wanted to see him again. That would be rather flattering.

~tries hard to think of books for you though~

The only one I've ever had a problem finding was The English Seaside by Peter Williams. It was for my uni work but not many places seemed to have it about.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:00, closed)

I have to have excuses
I'm awful at just flat-out telling someone something like that.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:02, closed)

This approach
is going to cost you a bloody fortune in books.
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:10, closed)

Student discount FTW ;-)
Also, one of my friends is conspiring to make me the official "book buyer" in our group.

...

I've only just realised how creepy I sound.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:16, closed)

Seriously
What have you got to lose? Ask him if he wants to go for coffee on his lunchbreak or something. Worst that can happen is that he can say no.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:17, closed)

^ this
after all, if he says no - he also said the competing store was cheaper. So it's not a total loss!
(berk, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 21:43, closed)

Solid reasoning there.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 10:21, closed)

La Terre
By Emile Zola, in French but a smashing good read.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:15, closed)

Great and not easily available book suggestion:
All I want for Christmas by Iwan Roberts.

There's a really pretty girl in our local Waterstones. At Christmas I had to ask her to help me find an obscure book on Poland, whilst trying not to drop my eye level down a foot.
( Dervel OTBC, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:38, closed)

Try this then:
"I'm after 'The boy behind the counter' by Kalindi A. Hunter, but I'm also after 'A Romantic meal for two' by Sam Stafford, Bill Ledger, and Nicolas Laborie? Can you help me with either of those?"

If that doesn't get the required answer, you're not wearing the right clothes, or, he's gay. Or possibly already with someone.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:11, closed)

Children's books
Rebecca's World, by Terry Nation, inventor of the Daleks.

It's out of print, incredibly rare, and has a girl for a hero(ine). It's cool to namecheck Terry Nation, even cooler to know where Dakek came from (encyclopaedia edition DAL/EK on the spine), and you could tell him he reminds you of David Tennant. Or a Dalek.
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 23:01, closed)

I'm with Che on this one
Us blokes can never see when a lass is trying to chat us up, we sort of go 'Nah, she's just being friendly.', as the woman in question dry humps your leg.
You might have to be quite direct and say something along the lines of 'So how many books do I have to buy before you'll ask me out? Will one more do it?'
or
He asks, 'That'll be 12.99 for the book please."
'12.99? Will you except a dinner date instead?'
or
'If this were 5000 years ago I'd pick up the biggest book here, smack you over the head with it and drag you back to my cave.'

You could really have some fun with this, good luck.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 15:55, closed)

Yeah.
I'm clueless. I'd need a girl to actually say it before I twigged myself.
(Bewareofthephil, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 12:58, closed)

Talk about missing a message
He's already tried to get you to buy your books from Amazon, eBay and another bookshop. Sweetie, he's gay. Unless you're a bloke, in which case he's straight. Or he's not fussy about "what" but is fussy about "who".
(ubergeekian, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 22:55, closed)

Been looking for an affordable copy of this myself for years
www.amazon.co.uk/sadist-Library-abnormal-psychological-edited/dp/B00088PIMY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266684707&sr=1-1
Is hard to get. You can pick it up in German for £14 but the English translation is seldom less than £75. If you set a low upper price range.....
(unclestinky, Sat 20 Feb 2010, 16:56, closed)