Super mega awesum t'interwebz toast LOL!
Get some bread. Any amount between a crumb and eight loaves is fine. Toast it

Next put butter on it. Four pallets of the stuff or a tiny scrape, who gives a shit?

Ok chef, now you're in super awesome pearoast mode which is deffo in your top ten modes.

Now pretend you're some kind of fucking garlic farmer. You will get 'mad props' for this. Guaranteed.

Put on your balloon hat. Lookin fly, homes!

It's now time to exploit some emotionally damaged biffas with sexualised childhood issues.

Et voila! You are now a complete fucking idiot entirely without self-awareness. The whole world is laughing at you. Bon appetit!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 18:51, 32 replies)

Oh Monty...
Ever the bridesmaid.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 20:55, closed)

I don't understand this. sorry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 21:04, closed)

That'll be that massive amount of self awareness then.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 21:16, closed)

Right you are.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 21:24, closed)

ok I'll level with you:
I recognise the words you're using here, but beyond that I am stumped.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 21:26, closed)

I think he's trying to imply that you'd look good dressed up like a little girl, the massive nonce.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:04, closed)

That....
Or maybe you can explain to him that with his little "parody" he's done here he's not only shown himself to be part of the problem but that also it's bindun by others in a far better way.

Or you could just be accusing me of being a pedophile. Which thinking about it now, most bridesmaids are usually over the age of consent (hence the "thing" about hooking up with them). I think you meant that you thought I'm some sort of sexual pervert because as you're suggesting I would like to see monty (a man, I'm guessing) dressed up in a formal ladies dress. That would just make me someone who likes cross-dressers which has nothing whatsoever to do with adults who prey sexually on children.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:20, closed)

tl;dr
lol
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:30, closed)

's ok. Shush now. Adults are talking.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:33, closed)

PROTIP: brevity is the soul of wit.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:37, closed)

What, like?
"tl;dr
lol"

'Cause I've gotta say - that little gem was so fucking funny I was doubled over. It's so good to an original piece of humorous writing on here for a change.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:40, closed)

PROTIP: the fact that something's original doesn't automatically make it good. Scouting For Girls's songs are original, but only because anyone with half a brain who'd previously thought of their gimmick had dismissed it as being artistically unworthy.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:42, closed)

PROTIP: Ringo is the soul of wit

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:44, closed)

ringo is a witless owl?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:51, closed)

PROTIP: Leaving the subject line blank and prefacing the body of your posts with "PROTIP:" gives them a mildly rancid air of superiority and condescension.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:51, closed)

You keep telling yourself that -
it makes you look very clever.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:52, closed)

Comedy gold.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:53, closed)

There's another
hilarious gem.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:55, closed)

they're your best mates, they are
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 23:02, closed)

I couldn't give it a good listen - the kid's only just got up now
But yeah - they're shit. Better than Maroon5, worse than Owl City.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 23:28, closed)

But they're really original!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 0:00, closed)

So was Mein Kampf.
Your point is?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 0:19, closed)

Is it still answering last week's question?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:56, closed)

I must say I'm quite enjoying your increasingly frantic attempts to pretend to actually ignore the people you have on ignore.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 23:15, closed)

The poor old fuck is so stupid that he actually takes himself seriously.
Fuck.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:42, closed)

Look everyone.
Shambo's ignoring me!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:57, closed)

This is what the kids these days call a 'zong', right?
I'm no expert but it looks like a jolly good one to me. I've half a mind to 're-twit' this on my 'My Face' 'wall'.

Lots Of Love My Ass Off on the Floor!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:40, closed)

You know you're old when you've got to look it up in urban dictionary.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:49, closed)

or when you get so bored with that broad-hipped farming stock Sheila you married
that you'd rather knob even a post stroke Helen Daniels than stick your 'ute' up that spade-faced hag ever again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 23:10, closed)

or spend hours of your life trading witty repartee
with people on a forum based website.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 23:17, closed)

this is another one of those 'zongs' isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 23:19, closed)

I enjoyed reading this.

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 14:31, closed)