
Roger Boyes tells us: "I was once coaxed up on stage and did ten minutes of off-the-cuff stand-up comedy. Amazingly, I brought the house down. A few weeks later, having rehearsed like hell, I went back to the same stage and got hardly a titter. Well, sod that." Have you ever amazed yourself with hidden talents?
( , Fri 18 Apr 2014, 12:44)
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and can memorise reams of things very quickly. it comes in very useful for lazy cunts like me when it's exam time.
unfortunately, it's also highly selective. whilst i can quote pages of useless things that i read years ago, can i remember the useful piece of law that i read yesterday? can i feck.
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:05, 33 replies)

That must make my nan with alzheimers way more talented than you.
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:06, closed)

but i didn't want to honda accord it up by saying "photographic" because it's not THAT good.
there must be loads of kids near you with easter eggs you can go piss in, go on...
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:16, closed)

( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:21, closed)

it's almost like you're really really bored and don't really care
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:23, closed)

that's for people who actually do work. i just memorise swathes of textbook.
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:25, closed)

( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:28, closed)

The order says 200 yards minimum.
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:48, closed)

using your dad's spunk
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:14, closed)

prolly easier since my wife is french and never wears knickers
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:24, closed)

is sold to repressed English housewives.
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:35, closed)

Donaghue Vs Stevenson 1932.
It's quite hard to shoehorn that into an application in rem for a maritime lien, but I'm pretty sure I've tried it.
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:47, closed)

man decides to rape someone
man climbs up ladder
he is naked except for his socks, which he left on for a quick getaway
drunken girl assumes he is her boyfriend
girl invites him in
they have sex
then she realises her mistake
did he trespass or was he invited in - ie was any part of him sticking over the windowsill before the invite? i love the bit where the judge said that the court did not propose to comment "and nor could it" about his decision to leave his socks on...
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:14, closed)

When organising next bank robbery, do not bother with getaway car, as getaway socks are apparently sufficient.
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:22, closed)

Former employer was threatening to sue for breach of contract (their standard practice for anyone leaving and continuing to work in the same industry as we all have the same customers). I referred them to Arkell v. Pressdram, via their very expensive lawyers, and heard nothing further from them.
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 21:22, closed)

but our friend mr enzyme is correct: everyone remembers the buttock brander.
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 17:12, closed)

I'm not even a lawyer: I'm screwed when my employer finds out.
( , Wed 23 Apr 2014, 11:02, closed)

You know, you use it to drain lettuce after you've washed it...it's got holes in...
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:28, closed)

How are you!
LOVED your post! Oh man, I've been there!
Anyhoo, just wanted to say...DON'T BAN ME!
No, not really! Just wanted to say hi and keep up the good work!
Rob x
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:24, closed)

^less useful but more entertaining, if combined with confabulation.
( , Tue 22 Apr 2014, 17:47, closed)

it just hasn't developed yet and I've not had it fixed
( , Wed 23 Apr 2014, 12:06, closed)
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