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This is a question Hidden talents

Roger Boyes tells us: "I was once coaxed up on stage and did ten minutes of off-the-cuff stand-up comedy. Amazingly, I brought the house down. A few weeks later, having rehearsed like hell, I went back to the same stage and got hardly a titter. Well, sod that." Have you ever amazed yourself with hidden talents?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 12:44)
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i have an almost photographic memory
and can memorise reams of things very quickly. it comes in very useful for lazy cunts like me when it's exam time.

unfortunately, it's also highly selective. whilst i can quote pages of useless things that i read years ago, can i remember the useful piece of law that i read yesterday? can i feck.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:05, 33 replies)
Your talent is not having a photographic memory?
That must make my nan with alzheimers way more talented than you.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:06, closed)
it's having an extraordinarily good memory
but i didn't want to honda accord it up by saying "photographic" because it's not THAT good.

there must be loads of kids near you with easter eggs you can go piss in, go on...
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:16, closed)
'Be able to remember some stuff but not others' is not a talent.

(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:21, closed)
"being able to memorise things very quickly and accurately" is
it's almost like you're really really bored and don't really care
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:23, closed)
'I take notes' is not a talent either.

(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:24, closed)
i don't take notes
that's for people who actually do work. i just memorise swathes of textbook.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:25, closed)
'I have successfully revised for an exam' doesn't really count either.

(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:28, closed)
how would you know?

(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:29, closed)
There aren't any kids near him.
The order says 200 yards minimum.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:48, closed)
sounds distinctly ordinary to me

(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:30, closed)
look love, when i want your opinion, i'll write it in your wife's knickers
using your dad's spunk
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:14, closed)
yerr ... or you could claim a vaguely functional brain as a special gift on an interweb messageboard and see what happens
prolly easier since my wife is french and never wears knickers
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:24, closed)
the inventor of the french knicker must be turning in his grave

(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:27, closed)
The entire output of the French nicker industry
is sold to repressed English housewives.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:35, closed)
I prefer my almost eidetic memory.

(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:15, closed)
I have a memory that's...what's that word?

(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 12:43, closed)
The only one I can ever remember is
Donaghue Vs Stevenson 1932.

It's quite hard to shoehorn that into an application in rem for a maritime lien, but I'm pretty sure I've tried it.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:47, closed)
If you can't remember R v Brown,
you're doing law wrong.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:59, closed)
see also r-v-collins
man decides to rape someone
man climbs up ladder
he is naked except for his socks, which he left on for a quick getaway
drunken girl assumes he is her boyfriend
girl invites him in
they have sex
then she realises her mistake

did he trespass or was he invited in - ie was any part of him sticking over the windowsill before the invite? i love the bit where the judge said that the court did not propose to comment "and nor could it" about his decision to leave his socks on...
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:14, closed)
Note to self:
When organising next bank robbery, do not bother with getaway car, as getaway socks are apparently sufficient.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:22, closed)
:D

(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:02, closed)
Arkell vs Pressdram
Classic
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 16:13, closed)
Used that once
Former employer was threatening to sue for breach of contract (their standard practice for anyone leaving and continuing to work in the same industry as we all have the same customers). I referred them to Arkell v. Pressdram, via their very expensive lawyers, and heard nothing further from them.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 21:22, closed)
Sorry, I don't do criminal
that's for plebs.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 16:58, closed)
me neither
but our friend mr enzyme is correct: everyone remembers the buttock brander.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 17:12, closed)
Nor I.
I'm not even a lawyer: I'm screwed when my employer finds out.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2014, 11:02, closed)
Suits!

(, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 9:06, closed)
I've got a memory like one of those things
You know, you use it to drain lettuce after you've washed it...it's got holes in...
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:28, closed)
a woman

(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:57, closed)
A
teapot?
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 17:02, closed)
Hey Hey Rachey!
How are you!

LOVED your post! Oh man, I've been there!

Anyhoo, just wanted to say...DON'T BAN ME!

No, not really! Just wanted to say hi and keep up the good work!

Rob x
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:24, closed)
a pornographic memory
^less useful but more entertaining, if combined with confabulation.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 17:47, closed)
i almost have a photographic memory
it just hasn't developed yet and I've not had it fixed
(, Wed 23 Apr 2014, 12:06, closed)

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