Hidden talent catches the bird!
Hey Folks!

Did I ever tell you about my first date with the soon to be Mrs Fairholme?

No?

Ok, I'll tell you now!

As many of you may have followed my old (and quite frankly embarrassing) accounts (s0ckpuppet, misery and the like), you'll likely remember that I spent a large part of time in WA's Chinatown where I worked in a large Asian catering company.

By default, I ate every meal there and became exceptionally proficient with the use of chopsticks. So much so, that I used them expertly to impress and woo my wife-to-be.

Can you see where this is going b3tans?

No?

Ok, I'll enlighten you!

Our first date was a local Chinese eatery, I knew it to be a good 'um as the bosses of the catering company ate there. After we'd sat down and ordered, I began to showcase my hidden talents!

Whilst Mrs F watched in sheer amazement, I slowly withdrew a cigarette from my pack on the table, popped it in my mouth, lit it, took a few puffs and then crushed it into the ashtray.

AND I DID IT ALL USING CHOPSTICKS!

Can you believe that?

No?

Well guys and girls, it's true. 100% rock-solid truth, baby! And what happened next? Well readers, I married her!

Rob x
(Queen of the Harpies, a dedicated Marshmallow puppet, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:19, 16 replies)

Syntax is all wrong for Fatbelm.
Good try.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:47, closed)

That's what I thought
This is the work of Albert....
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 16:09, closed)

^I concur with the honourable gentleman^

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 18:47, closed)

Alright Rob
I'm disappointed by the lack of incomprehensible Australian slang in this QOTW entry. Could you add in a few paragraphs about tinnies or arvos or something?

Cheers mate.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:56, closed)

I hate the word "eatery".

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 16:19, closed)

adjective.
similar to something which eats
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 17:21, closed)

BONZER

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 17:27, closed)

yeah ... this is not really working
unless you're looking to beat dr skagra in the long and dreary stakes
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 17:42, closed)

Fuck off,
cunt.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Wed 23 Apr 2014, 18:17, closed)

I was all ready to get some popcorn
*deflates*
(squigbobble existed, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 17:43, closed)

are you writing to the beano or something?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 17:59, closed)

Either you argued with yourself in previous posts
Or you're that creepy sex pest Albert.
( Peej, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 22:39, closed)

:/ This is either baldmonkey levels of comedy-accounting, Bou level insanity, or an attempt to get a Bou level ISP banning...
Either way I'm hoping this one wins.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 23 Apr 2014, 15:35, closed)

Why are the British Ornothologologoliststsss Union
considered insane

?
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Wed 23 Apr 2014, 18:19, closed)