Travelling round Europe
Long time reader, first time poster, be kind please!

I went travelling round Europe for two and a half months in the summer of 2012. I left London with 40p in my back pocket and jumped the train to Dover, stood at the side of the road with a sign saying "France" and got a lift onto the ferry. I faredodged my way round most of Europe, racking up a lot of fines on the way that were basically unenforceable, as they won't bother sending angry letters to England. I spent some time staying at a hippy gathering in Slovakia, where I saw a shooting star and made a wish for a few quid to help me along my way.

Fast forward about a week, and I'm trying to fare dodge my way across Spain, to a friend's place in Portugal. Conductors in Spain are among the most militant in Europe and will quite happily stop the train at the next station to throw you off, whether or not it's scheduled to stop there. It took me two days to get from Barcelona to Zaragoza. I boarded a train to Madrid, where I was accosted by a conductor. I stood there pleading with him for a good five minutes, telling him how my interrail ticket had been "stolen" and how I'd not eaten for days and needed to get to Madrid to collect some money from my "travel insurance". The conductor said he'd allow me to stay on until the next reasonable sized town, where he promptly kicked me off.

I made my way to the local bus station to see if I can jump a bus out of there but being a Sunday afternoon in a small Spanish town it was deserted. I walk over to the information counter where I see a small payphone not unlike one you'd find in a pub, held down by nothing more than a piece of wire. I look around and see no people or CCTV, so I cut the wire with my trusty Swiss army knife and squeeze the payphone into my bag. I walk round the corner to a building site where I smash open the payphone with a scaffolding bar, thinking there might be enough to get myself something to eat before trying my luck on the next train. I count the coins inside and find 130 euros.

I managed to buy a train ticket to Madrid, a nice sit down meal, a coach ticket to Lisbon with enough food and booze for the journey, a train ticket to my mates place in Portugal, and I had enough left over for a piss up in the local bar and a fat block of hash.
(KlausWaugh, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 0:04, 44 replies)

I'm afraid I can't think of anything kind to say to you.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 0:08, closed)

Thieving parasitic cunt.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 0:36, closed)

Oh, come on. He's basically a real life Mcguyver, resourceful and quick thinking
Except instead of building something out duct tape and string, he's vandalising public property and looting it for financial gain
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 3:35, closed)

jackpot

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 0:48, closed)

Vandalism, fraud and theft.
You must feel very proud of yourself.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 2:40, closed)

thieving scally cunt

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 7:37, closed)

If you want people to be kind to you,
try not scamming, lying and stealing your way around Europe, you cheap amoral piece of shit.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 7:48, closed)

7/10
Good marks for law-breaking and MASSIVE DRUGS and general sociopathy, but you lost marks for failing to include any supermodel prostitutes.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Tue 26 Aug 2014, 7:49, closed)

the trolls just don't put the effort in these days ... I blame A* GCSEs

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 7:59, closed)

I take it back.
It's got several varieties of indignation and a handful of noble defenders without a single additional post.

8/10 good trolling recommended
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 16:14, closed)

oxygen thief
There is a reason why people like you are despised, you contribute nothing.
(justin(e), Tue 26 Aug 2014, 8:29, closed)

And the poor old lady died of a heart attack because there was no phone to call the ambulance ...
... twat.
( Ghoti Fingers, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 8:31, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 8:55, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:52, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:52, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:52, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:53, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:53, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:53, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:53, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:54, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:57, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:57, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:54, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:54, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:56, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:56, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:56, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 8:56, closed)

You are Chris the Cockney
AICMFP.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 8:57, closed)

There isn't a hint of shame here - you're really quite proud of this aren't you?
I hope everyone you love shuns you as you die, dribbling, puking and shitting yourself from inoperable cancer.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 9:28, closed)

Whilst trying to call an ambulance from a vandalised payphone.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 12:41, closed)

The righteous internet brigade are after you.

(McChinaman banned, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 12:53, closed)

Yeah, what a bunch of miserable fucks.
It's only a bit of high-jinx on holiday.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:35, closed)

I like this
Poster demonstrates gumption, initiative and good old fashioned derring do against johnny foreigner.
( rofl harris, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:15, closed)

I think we can all agree you deserve to be kidnapped by a pikey,
who then takes you to a building site, smashes you open with a scaffolding bar, and then steals all the money inside you.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:18, closed)

When 'piggy bank' becomes 'pikey bank'.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:31, closed)

Let me get this right
that the QFTW is about 'Hitchhiking and fare dodging' and someone posts about that very subject, and gets grief?

I agree the bit about stealing the phone is very wrong though.
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:01, closed)

He's not getting grief for failing to stick to the question; he's getting grief for being a cunt.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:06, closed)

That was genuinely interesting to read
if all this is true i wish I had when younger experienced something similar. Good on ya!
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:28, closed)

You sociopaths should get together and form a club.
We could call it 'Prison'
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 15:29, closed)

sign me up.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 15:52, closed)

"I left London with 40p in my back pocket."
That was your problem. If you had taken a decent amount of money with you, you wouldn't have needed to steal any.
(Thor McLegend FUCK SHITPANTS PAC MAN, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 15:23, closed)

This is why replies should win, etc.
( Quiver Search for FATALISTS on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, &c, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:58, closed)