Shitty cat.
Hitching from Rottingdean to Brighton - about 23 years ago.

Rottingdean isn't FAR far from Brighton, but far enough you don't really want to walk it - it'll take you well over an hour.
So, living there with a few mates - a brother and sister - we too skint to take the bus, even, so we decided to hitch along to Brighton and spend what few pennies we had on booze and fags.
It turns out that walking to the roundabout (the best place for cars to stop), we picked up a "hitcher" of our own, a young feral cat who walked along beside us. The girl we were with can't resist the cats charms, and picks it up, only to discover it's been rolling in shit. So we left the cat in a field, walked to the roundabout, and got picked up after about 10 minutes.
Got to Brighton, had a few cheap drinks.

Yeah.

Thought nothing else of it.

Until, about 15 years later - me and the same mate were walking back after visiting his parents.
"Shall we hitch back" he says, "for a laugh, see if we still can?"
I agree, and we stick out thumbs out on the same roundabout - and eventually a car slows down and picks us up, so we smile and get in...

The first thing the guy driving says after we get in the car is: "I don't normally stop for hitchhikers. The last lot I picked up - probably about 15 years or so ago were a bunch of hippies - smelled of shit and wouldn’t stop talking about this fucking cat…"

We didn't tell him.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 9:50, 33 replies)

The fact that this didn't actually happen
and that you are obviously a compulsive liar has made me feel a bit less depressed about your previous post.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 9:58, closed)

How do you know?
Were you THERE when it didn't happen?!?
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:19, closed)

No I wasn't.
But then neither were you.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:25, closed)

It's a true story!
The exact dates are probably out by a few years, though.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:27, closed)

I don't doubt that you and your mates got a lift while stinking of shit sometime in the distant past.
But that the same person randomly picked you up again 15 years later AND mentioned his previous encounter to strangers (implying that these were the only two times he had picked up hitchhikers).

Sorry. No. I think you added that in an attempt to make a very dull story slightly more bearable.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:51, closed)

But good on you for having the decency
to delete that story about you shamelessly stealing thousands of pounds.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:27, closed)

Yes.
Didn't think that one through TBH.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:29, closed)

so you're only going to post obvious lies that don't paint you as a thief? bit dull

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:30, closed)

Sorry.
It's just that nothing interesting ever happens to me, so I need to post fantasies of my own creation to strangers on an anonymous board. It's the only thing that blows air over the smouldering embers of my ever dwindling self worth.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:37, closed)

fair enough

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:58, closed)

You could have counselled him there you selfish cunt.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:30, closed)

hey hey, don't beat yourself up. it could be worse.
you could be criticising the fantasies of others.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:41, closed)

So poking fun at other peoples ridiculous lies
is worse than making up ridiculous lies?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:52, closed)

in the same way that arse cancer is worse than cock cancer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:52, closed)

Stop showing off your in-depth knowlege of oncology

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:00, closed)

I HOPE YOU GET BOTH

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:05, closed)

mean

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:17, closed)

it's only what we're all thinking

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:47, closed)

My grandmothers hairdresser died of cancer
you insensitive bitch
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:52, closed)

you should have picked up a few tips then

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:54, closed)

or ... you know ... getting upset on behalf of the people whose weak lies are being criticised

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 20:39, closed)

Cats don't roll in shit.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:22, closed)

That was probably made up too
and it was just that his girlfriend had 'wiping' issues.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:49, closed)

GIRLFRIEND!?
Yeah right. I bet the stupid attention seeking cunt invented her for his so called 'story' as well.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:26, closed)

Damn straight!
*high-fives*!!
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:51, closed)

Could someone please direct me to the forum (that apparently exists before QFTW) where an unelected group of self appointed internet intellectuals decide what is true and what is false in the world; despite the verified existence of coincidence?
Because that'd be sweet, and could potentially save me a lot of time.
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 16:29, closed)

speak youre branes

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 16:59, closed)

Intellectuals?
I'd hardly call Dr Shambolic (B3ta's very own Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged) an intellectual.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 18:56, closed)

Replies to win ^

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 10:58, closed)

before someone gets UPSET ONLINE and deletes them, you mean

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 12:08, closed)

would you like to buy some magic beans?

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 20:25, closed)