Those fucking trampolines
should be outlawed and anyone who has ever bought one, been or one or contemplated buying one should be shot.

Same goes for barbecues.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:34, 20 replies)

Trampolines I understand
but barbeques?
( Peej, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:37, closed)

Call me picky if you like
but my idea of fun of a summer's evening is not having to shut all of my doors and windows and sit inside my house to escape the clouds of burning corpse stench coming from various nearby gardens.

How much fun can it be? "Duh, I'm cooking with fire, I'm a caveman". Fucking gurning cunts.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:41, closed)

vegetarian?

( rofl harris, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:43, closed)

NO!
Just intolerant towards sad pricks.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:45, closed)

Oh dear
My trampoline has been planned for a long time and will be purchased as soon as I have a house with a garden it will fit in . This may take a while however as the trampoline I have in mind is rather large and is probably larger than the garden on the average new build house.

Maybe I should canvas the area for B3tans before purchasing said house so as not to offend.
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:51, closed)

Having endured having one next door
I found that the average Saturday and Sunday afternoon entailled being a prisoner in my own home as all the kids from the street bounced up and down on the other side of the fence screaming their heads off.

If you have an ounce of decency and consideration you will not buy a trampoline for your little bastards.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:55, closed)

getting a bit worked up?


As long as there having fun in there OWN garden, you don't have to be locked up inside because you can hear other people having fun in there own gardens, or because people are enjoying bbq's im a chef and for one love BBQ's and there is no way to actually (100% successfully) recreate the taste of meat cooked on a BBQ.
(squareheadedfreak, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:41, closed)

"the taste of meat cooked on a BBQ"
Half burnt. Do me a fucking favour.

As for people enjoying themselves in their OWN garden: would you enjoy it if I lived next door to you and decided to play my music very loudly in my OWN house? I could also light a bonfire if you like?
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:54, closed)

.
I don't have any little bastards fortunately. The trampoline would be purely for my use and if you heard screaming from me I would ask you call an ambulance.
Don't worry I'm sure one of your neighbouring little bastards will break something soon as most parents appear to be too stupid to supervise their offspring! The novelty will wear off at that point.
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:47, closed)

We appear to have got off on the wrong foot
whatever that means.

Would you like to come to mine for a barbecue?
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:44, closed)

Supervising..?
Bollocks - you think they should all be always 100% safe and observed at all times? Utter bollocks. If all our parents did that, then every QoTW would be dull as shit.

Kids *shouldn't* be over supervised, otherwise they don't *learn* anything, especially about managing personal risk. Just be on hand to ferry to A&E where necessary.

Oh, and don't bother with those dumb nets for the trampolines - again, stupidly overprotective, and fails to teach kids to *avoid* the riskiest stuff.
(MartinB9999, Tue 26 May 2009, 16:42, closed)

fires
are fucking brilliant...bbq's are great as well...except that all those lovely tasty blackened bits give you 'teh cancer'.

So you can smile a bit when you smell the corpse stench.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:51, closed)

I'm with m'colleagues
Trampolines are gay.

Barbecues are surely magnificent? I reckon even toast would taste better on a barbecue...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:04, closed)

Barbeques
Are great. Full stop.
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:25, closed)

I barbeque
in the goddamned winter at 3am in the freezing cold.

And I enjoy the SHIT out of it.
(Scritty Bakerman., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:49, closed)

you miserable old cunt
lighten up a little ffs.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:37, closed)

Barbecues
are utterly amazing, and delicious. I believe you might at some point wish to remove the sand that has currently taken up residence in your vagina.
(anvil, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:20, closed)

Another week at work over
wishing to relax and wind down.

No! You miserable cunt. You should welcome the smoke and the noise in your OWN garden which other people have chosen to create because their idea of fun is to cook...

using something other than a cooker.




I never tend to get much agreement on the barbecue issue but we're all agreed on the trampoline thing right?

Right?
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:56, closed)

Trampolines.
OK, i'll give you that one. Barbecues though...

Have you never felt the primal manly pleasure of the fight to light the charcoal?
"What do you mean there are no more firelighters? Get me that bottle of turps from under the sink. Now hold my beer and stand back."
Waiting for the coals to go white and flaky so they glow when you blow on them and the heat blast singes your eyebrows, sipping a beer while prodding a slowly blackening chicken leg until it (mostly) stops bleeding.

Of course this doesn't apply to gas barbecues. Those are a pointless affront to machismo and should be outlawed.
(Prof. Moriarty put his foot in it on, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:40, closed)

A gas barbecue
is a cooker on wheels, you'd have to be dangerously insane to buy one.

Social gathering + barbecue = fine.

What mystifies me, and I have lived next door to such people, are the type of couples who get out the barbecue several times a week throughout summer just to cook a couple of burgers.

Why?

Get a fucking life.

(not you, them)

(unless you are one of them)

(and I don't mean gay)
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:23, closed)