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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
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I went to a restaurant that just served Chicken dishes.
The portions were poultry!
(, Sat 20 Oct 2018, 15:50, 1 reply, 7 months ago)
What did the wonky line say when it was asking for help?
I ask you..

No apologies.
(, Sat 20 Oct 2018, 9:06, Reply)
I've devised a philosophy based around jam
It's for people who want to preserve their way of life.
(, Sat 20 Oct 2018, 2:03, Reply)
The real reason people don't wear Speedos any more.
Is because they've got paedos in them.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2018, 20:40, Reply)
My dog's got no nose. How does it smell?
It doesn't, bled to death due to the nose injury.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2018, 14:32, Reply)
The dead squirrel joke
Why did the squirrel cross the road?
It didn't.
(, Wed 10 Oct 2018, 22:08, 2 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
I used to work in customer service for a laxative company once...
I was forever telling people 'sorry for any incontinence.'
(, Wed 10 Oct 2018, 10:18, Reply)
My pig's got no nose.
How does it smell?
Disgruntled.
(, Wed 10 Oct 2018, 9:45, Reply)
My wife has been gone a while, and without her I'm listless
No one's given me a list of things to do for weeks.
(, Mon 8 Oct 2018, 0:40, Reply)
Although a transvestite friend of mine lives in Greater Manchester...

He also has a Wigan address.
(, Thu 4 Oct 2018, 17:29, 3 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
Spoiler alert
Did you hear about the bride who had a period on the day she got married?
It was a red wedding.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2018, 5:17, Reply)
We have no idea if Jeremy Corbyn would ruin this country as Prime Minister
But Theresa May
(, Thu 27 Sep 2018, 8:26, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
all signing, all dancing: musicals for the hearing impaired

(, Wed 26 Sep 2018, 20:59, Reply)
What's Sherlock Holmes' favourite plant?
A lemon tree.
(, Wed 26 Sep 2018, 20:58, Reply)
Richard III’s album sales begin to fall.
Now is the winter of his disc content
(, Wed 26 Sep 2018, 20:57, Reply)
psychologist: so, you often get the urge to stand onstage?
me: yes, but I'd never act on it
(, Wed 26 Sep 2018, 20:56, Reply)
BREAKING: Alcoholic Country Becomes Beholden To A Drinking Establishment, Signs Declaration Of Inn Dependence

(, Wed 26 Sep 2018, 20:53, Reply)
I'm going to marry the lady at the fish market.
She's the girl of my breams.
(, Wed 26 Sep 2018, 20:51, Reply)
Did you hear about the newspaper journalist whose poor formatting got him executed?
It just wasn’t justified.
(, Wed 26 Sep 2018, 20:50, Reply)
A Twitch-based science fiction horror story: I Have No Mouse, And I Must Stream

(, Wed 26 Sep 2018, 20:49, Reply)
Why does Crystal Gayle insert smurfs into her bottom
She wants to make her brown eye blue........
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 22:45, Reply)
Whenever I print out invoices for both my Kurdish clients...
...I do so on paper that I've torn from my paperback copy of "How To Look Good Naked".

I like to bill two kurds with Wan's tome.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 14:28, Reply)
i tried to make a sauce vert, but it went wrong
boy, was THAT a waste of thyme!
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 15:59, Reply)

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