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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
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"Improving Houses"
By Bill Der.
(Octo I ruin everything., Wed 20 Mar 2024, 17:43, Reply)
What did the lettuce say to the cabbage?
…….[hhh]…….*
* If you could speak lettuce, you’d be laughing so hard right now.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 19 Mar 2024, 4:05, 3 replies, latest was 9 months ago)
I've a friend who works as the official portraitist in the arthritis and amputation departments of my local hospital.
He's a hip-hop artist.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Sat 16 Mar 2024, 18:18, Reply)
Why DIDN’T the chicken cross the road?
Because he was fucking lazy.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 11 Mar 2024, 12:54, 3 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
Please don't anthropomorphise my dog...

Why not?

He doesn't like it.
(I helped save b3ta! gp_guineapig, Sun 10 Mar 2024, 1:42, Reply)
What time does a chicken wake up?
Ten o'cluck.
(Octo I ruin everything., Sat 9 Mar 2024, 20:40, 2 replies, latest was 10 months ago)

It's taking ages to pay my pub debts online as I have too many tabs open.
(Max Harvey, Fri 8 Mar 2024, 14:24, Reply)

- Which of our offices are you applying to work in?

- Durham role please.

- Be quicker if you just told me.
(Max Harvey, Fri 8 Mar 2024, 14:23, Reply)
What reptile is often found lurking in the backstreets?
An Alley Gator.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 7 Mar 2024, 4:02, Reply)
What lunch makes you laugh?
A cheese and tickle sandwich.
(Octo I ruin everything., Wed 6 Mar 2024, 11:08, Reply)
b3ta is much like my arse....
...it contains a lot of old farts.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 4 Mar 2024, 2:28, 3 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
Did you know the mascot for Little Caesar's pizza is an italian guy named Pete?
That's right - it's Pete's-a pizza
(I helped save b3ta! AgentMuu hentai coordination, Wed 28 Feb 2024, 21:55, 1 reply, 10 months ago)
Ok so /chat doesn’t have its own link anymore as we are all backwards fuckwits.
Yet /links is still on the homepage.

Now thats a fucking joke.
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sat 24 Feb 2024, 2:54, Reply)
In Harry Potter, what language does the postman speak?
Parceltongue.
(Octo I ruin everything., Fri 23 Feb 2024, 21:39, Reply)
Q. What vegetable is best eaten while watching episodes of the original 90s 'Gladiators'?
A. A courgette.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 23 Feb 2024, 13:49, Reply)
Did you know that Jesus has killed before?…. It’s true…
Rest In Peace Easter Bunny!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 23 Feb 2024, 4:37, Reply)
I suffer from split personalities- many of them are American historical figures.
General Lee Speaking, my symptoms are barely even noticeable.
(I helped save b3ta! the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Tue 20 Feb 2024, 4:19, Reply)
….so…uhh……it wasn’t exactly a good idea to teach my bird dog how to drive a car…
…he ended up parking up the wrong tree.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 20 Feb 2024, 3:07, Reply)
I went on a massive bender yeterday
Can't remember his name
(Smug Bastard LOL, Sun 18 Feb 2024, 17:16, 6 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
Chris de Burgh once forgot to ensure adequate ventilation when painting his living room - not once but twice
then wrote a song about it.

"I am high-igh-igh on emulsion, high again..."
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sat 17 Feb 2024, 0:43, Reply)
Why do men give flowers to women after a row?
So that everything will B-ouquet.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Fri 9 Feb 2024, 11:40, Reply)
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
brb
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 9 Feb 2024, 3:09, 1 reply, 11 months ago)
What's worse than finding a crip in your armchair?
Finding blood in your stool!
what a load of shit
(Smug Bastard LOL, Thu 8 Feb 2024, 21:29, Reply)
Never knew Ernest Hemingway wrote a book about King Charles.
The Old Man and the C.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Tue 6 Feb 2024, 10:28, 2 replies, latest was 11 months ago)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor Who
Doctor Mitchell, I came as soon as I could.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 31 Jan 2024, 1:19, Reply)
Your Mama's so fat...
...even Russia said, "Daaaaaaammnn!!!!!!!!".
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 26 Jan 2024, 0:49, 10 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
Chemistry is a hard job
I keep asking what the abbrevation for Erbium is

But everyone who came up to me just said "Er!"
(FrenchBoast, Sat 20 Jan 2024, 20:15, 1 reply, 11 months ago)
who is Napoleon's least favourite actor?
Idris Elba!
(sticklebricks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 19 Jan 2024, 7:10, 3 replies, latest was 11 months ago)

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