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This is a question Meeting people from the internet

Monty Boyce asks: Have you ever had a real-life meet with somebody you first knew from the internet? How did it go? How long until the Asbo expires?

(, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 12:43)
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Sarah Beeny - Property Developer, Media Whore, Dating Guru...
I once tried Beeny's website where your mates 'sell' you to prospective birds/blokes by writing a paragraph or two highlighting your best features. My mates James wrote a bit of blurb, with the best line being - 'Mr Fudge's best body part is his nipples'.

Now I don't know what is wrong with you ladies, but I was literally inundated with err.. some emails asking for photos of my chest bulls-eyes. I mean you all have tits that you can look at in the mirror, lube up and play with, and yet you want to see my hairy moobs? It's just weird. Anyway, one message in particular leaps to mind...

From a 47yr old, HUUUGE divorced single mum of three from Stockport (I am 31 and live in London).

It simply read, 'We have something in common. My best features are my nips too. Though you won't get to see them when we meet up. Unless you buy me dinner first. ;-)

I'm seeing her this weekend. As far as I'm concerned, any hole's a goal, even though after three kids, it'll be like throwing a sausage down a corridor. Wish me luck!
(, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:01, 17 replies)

Not necessarily. If she's delivered them out the sun roof she might have a mimsy like a mouse's ear.
(, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:03, closed)
chances are it'll be more like a ripped-out fireplace...

(, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:06, closed)
ahahahahaha, there goes my coffee over the keyboard!

(, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:20, closed)
^^ I nearly choked on my tea when I read that...

(, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:20, closed)
^^^ This. ^^^

(, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:45, closed)

stealing that
(, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 20:37, closed)
If you're going to fuck my mum
Can you not write about it on b3ta first?
(, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 18:37, closed)
Would you prefer that I update you after?

(, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:26, closed)
Thank you.
(, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 13:45, closed)
there is also the chance
she's been doing her kegel's and could just turn your grubby little lump of carbon into a diamond.
(, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 2:12, closed)
Tie a plank across your arse so you don't fall in.
Yes, I've seen Porky's
(, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:36, closed)
Best prepare
To do the wall of death. I bet it looks like an abatoir floor
(, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:51, closed)
Ha ha ha ha ha!!
Thanks for the tip. Sound advice to be sure.
(, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 12:29, closed)

£5 says it looks like a cross between the Sarlacc Pit and a Butcher's Dustbin.
(, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:57, closed)
It'll look like a Bulldog eating porridge...

(, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 12:40, closed)
If she's on it'll look like Gaddafis face circa yesterday afternoon!
(, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 12:44, closed)
as a mother of three
I resemble that

you probably do not know how to wriggle your worm properly when you get it in there any way
(, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:49, closed)

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