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This is a question Inventions You're Too Lazy To Make

I was making myself a coffee and didn't have a spoon. I poured the coffee directly from the jar into the cup. I thought, "wouldn't it be great if there was a nozzle on the top that could dispense just one measure of coffee? Woo. That would solve the problem of others making your coffee too weak too. Just say, 'two shakes for me. I like it strong.'" So the question is... what inventions have you thought up in idle moments that might just change the world?

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:45)
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This question is now closed.

My TV doesn´t have a remote control
Which pisses me off. I have to get up from my bed every time I want to change channels. Fortunately I have a pair of long swords on a near shelf. I just have to lift my hand, grab one, and use it to change the channels from the bed. My life changed completely.
(Monocromatico Lady Godiva's horse, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:27, Reply)
An inflatable motorcycle crash helmet..
..that could be carried around easily as a spare for picking up those blonde swedish hitch-hikers you see so many of but never have a spare helmet with you at the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Grindstaff, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:25, Reply)
Wallpaper and/or paint embeded with tiny electrodes that changes colour when different currents are passed through it
this could be expanded to be hooked up to a computer that monitors your facial expressions to adjust yoru room to your mood.
(I helped save b3ta! StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:21, Reply)
Alarm clock with cold shower
How about.... An alarm clock that *actually* wakes up people like me. It does this by giving you a cold shower, where the temperature depends on the time it is... or how late you are... or something.
(JB^, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:19, Reply)
Remember fly paper - that sticky roll of paper you hang up and
flies, moths and wasp get stuck to it. Why have we never made a very big one of these to catch UFOs and hostile enemy stealth planes. Hang it from a very tall tower and see what we can catch. Proof of life from other planets could be just a sticky roll of paper away!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:19, Reply)
Targets for mens urinals,
it would be fun and boredom reducing if you had a target to aim at with sensors that reacted to constant streams hitting one area.
Many themes could be adapted
(I helped save b3ta! harpski, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:15, Reply)
i would love some robot that did my homework
that would be great and i could then speen even more time on the pc and get even more fatter
(STINK BOMB, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:14, Reply)
Carpet shower gel -
you've had carpet shampoo and carpet conditioner but it means pushing the carpet shampoo machine around and how boring and tiring is that? Well carpet shower gel means you can take your carpet into the shower with you - a foamy shower and a good rinse and it will look as new.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:13, Reply)
You know those blank lines that they use for censoring stuff on tv?
how about real adhesive ones of those, so you could just slap them on when you go out in the morning, save getting dressed.
(I helped save b3ta! StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:12, Reply)
an automated woo-yayer
that is all (i can think of at this late hour)
(I helped save b3ta! lo, the Greebo Warrior - Est. 2002, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:10, Reply)
Goldfish and other household aquarium fish are forever getting wet
what about fish wet-suits then your pride and joy aquatic friends can be warm and snug.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:09, Reply)
Tartan paint
to wipe the smile of the faces of the bastards who think it's hilarious to ask for it.
(I helped save b3ta! StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:08, Reply)
Electronic Tags
To put on things that I lose often (keys/remote/mind) And a handheld detector that detects the tags, and will beep as I move closer to them, thus enabling me to find them quicker.
(I helped save b3ta! fishsticks, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:06, Reply)
Thinking about all those dry regions in the world I thought
why not send them concentrated water - just add water to rehydrate. Hurrah! all their thirsty needs are addressed.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:05, Reply)
I really think we could use this around the board.
A small device attached to every computer made, which delivers an electrical shock to the user whenever they type in 'lol', 'u', 'gr8', or other such alleged words. Perhaps it could also distinguish between 'your' and 'you're'.

The voltage would, of course, be non-lethal, so that conditioning could occur.
(I helped save b3ta! TheFelineAnarchist, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:04, Reply)
I have an idea for a computer program
that would pass the turing test.

But I can't be bothered. What's the point anyway, when I can just talk to a real person?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:03, Reply)
and technically
I invented Chocolate Cornflakes and Caramel Frosties, as I thought of them two years before Kelloggs cottoned on, but I didn't have my own cereal manufacturing plant, so they beat me to it.
(I helped save b3ta! fishsticks, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:02, Reply)
Automatic Comedic Answer Robot for b3ta questions

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 8 Apr 2004, 0:00, Reply)
You know how people have those neon light underneath their cars?
Well, I thought how about the same thing, but with trousers
so you'd get a neon glow from under your rouser legs, so it'd light up the floor and shoes.
You coudl expand it to include lights around the inside of your fly that switched on when unzipped.
(I helped save b3ta! StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:59, Reply)
fortune beer
bottled beer with a message at the bottom.
(slogan - the answers to your problems *are* at the bottom of a bottle)
(I helped save b3ta! fishsticks, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:59, Reply)
oven chimps.
reconstituted chicken / turkey / potato in the shape of chimps
(I helped save b3ta! fishsticks, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:58, Reply)
lemon mint gum
see above
(I helped save b3ta! fishsticks, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:58, Reply)
chish and fips - fish shaped chips and chip shaped fish
see above
(I helped save b3ta! fishsticks, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:57, Reply)
A hole punch
In the shape of a boxing glove.

Geddit?
(I helped save b3ta! fishsticks, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:57, Reply)
Brushes in the shape of tiny traffic cones..
Which could be inserted up the nose !

Swipe away with a spiralling, brushing motion to rid your nose of your bogery-blues !
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:56, Reply)
We've got teabags.....
Let's have coffeebags, sugarbags and slightly soggy milk bags.
(I helped save b3ta! wowbagger, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:56, Reply)
A duvet cover
with shoe lace style ties on the inside in the corners so you can tie the corners of the duvet to it to stop the duvet getting rucked up and all rubbish like.
(I helped save b3ta! fishsticks, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:56, Reply)
When I've a really nasty cold
and my nose keeps running, I like to stick toilet paper up there to absorb the snot. But it's not really very absorbent and actually, quite irritating.

However something that is absorbent and comfortable that removes the need to continuously blow would be useful.

Bit like a Tampax for noses.
(I helped save b3ta! whelkboy is old now, you see, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:55, Reply)
i could tell you
but then you might steal my ideas and make them yourself and then i will kick myself for sharing the greatest ideas of all time.
(I helped save b3ta! rawr isn't really here., Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:55, Reply)
Groad
A genetically engineered high friction plant that gets nutrients from car fumes. Use it to pave roads and then you never have to resurface them ever again, the plant will just 'grow' if it gets worn.

The clever bit is, the more cars pass over it, the more worn it gets, but the more fumes it gets, so it grows back quicker.

No I haven't thought it through properly.
(I helped save b3ta! fishsticks, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:54, Reply)

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