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This is a question Inventions You're Too Lazy To Make

I was making myself a coffee and didn't have a spoon. I poured the coffee directly from the jar into the cup. I thought, "wouldn't it be great if there was a nozzle on the top that could dispense just one measure of coffee? Woo. That would solve the problem of others making your coffee too weak too. Just say, 'two shakes for me. I like it strong.'" So the question is... what inventions have you thought up in idle moments that might just change the world?

(, Wed 7 Apr 2004, 23:45)
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mmm baths
i enjoy a good long soak in the bath, but when running the bath, i find that i don't have enough patience to sit around watching the bath fill up...so i go do something, come back, and i've filled it up too high...alternatively, i dip my hand in to check the temperature, and fuck me, it's fucking boiling...why don't they invent something to help us poor bath folks in our quest for the perfect dip? like a thermometer and an alarm clock perhaps...
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 14:21, Reply)
"i'm not american" led signs......
I'm out in paris at the moment and I AM FED UP with people sneeringly asking "american?"

mind you someone thought I was German yesterday.... hmm

Oh and i'd definitely create a "Crane spy cam" to watch those pesky crane buggers at night... well we need to know for the sake of humanity: just how do those stupidly big cranes get put up? with a bigger crane? Which needs a bigger crane again to put that one up.... TO INFINTIY! ARGH! I need some absinthe.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 14:17, Reply)
My Brother invented
a 99p coin, which i thought was a great idea.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 14:07, Reply)
I pencil that alters the fabric of time and spac
So I go back in time and cure all world hunger.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 14:05, Reply)
Jackets with mirrors, stop lights and indicators.
And people have to use them on crowded streets, to stop them fucking stopping without warning. Bastards.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 14:04, Reply)
I'd quite fancy
a protractor that draws squares.

Although every time I try n think about what it would look like I fall over.

edit\ Sorry, I mean compass obviously. A square-drawing protractor would be a small piece of square plastic. Duh.

Compass, definitely.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 13:39, Reply)
I would like a computer...
THAT FUCKING WORKS!....probably impossible though....
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 13:36, Reply)
For long boring trips in a tunnel
Images could be attached to the tunnel wall for it's entire length, each image slightly different to the last. As you pass them in a train at high speed it would give you the impression that you are watching a cartoon.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 13:29, Reply)
or Bionic Eyes.
Not for any reason, just think it would be cool. In a Six Million Dollar man type way.

(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 13:29, Reply)
Eyebrow Thickening Booth
For those days that you just NEED a monobrow..........
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 13:24, Reply)
for domesticterrorist who wanted a TRAIN DETECTOR
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 13:23, Reply)
It plugs into your usb port and does what a kettle does best!
Sure, it doesn't draw a lot of power, but it only needs to boil enough water for one cup, 'cos lets face it, if you're such a geek that you cna't leave your pc for 2 minutes to make a cup of tea, you don't have any friends do you?
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 13:18, Reply)
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 13:09, Reply)
Washing up bowls - I HATE them
It occured to me the other day as I tipped out another load of putrid greasy week old water/left over food from my abused washing up bowl that they could do with a plug hole in the bottom. this would avoid all the messiness, general unpleasantness and the very real risk of broken crokery that you get when emptying the rotten contents of these student/prole devices. I could make literally pounds
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 12:51, Reply)
The Sound Dampener
Something that works by emitting the inverse signal to block out the sound of that stupid ragga drum n bass the chavver in the car next to you has on ASTONISHINGLY loud. Voila. Sweet Silence.


The Train Detector. A webpage that tells you how late your train is you don't rush to get to a platform on the way to work and then... realise that it's twenty minutes late.

The PC Light. A Light at the back of your PC so you can see what all those periphal slots actually do when you're rummaging around in the dark plugging a modem or something in. Especialley handy for people who, like me, like to put PC boxes against the wall.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 12:50, Reply)
Are often stolen and interfered with,and it's a real pain taking them off and putting them on,also the average sized car can obscure them from veiw completely.The solution is of course a cycling helmet with the lights incorporated into it.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 12:48, Reply)
For those of us who work in shops
An instant customer personality analysis devise would be really useful. It would enable you to quickly establish what kind of customer you're dealing with.
I figure it'd probably look something like this:

(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 12:38, Reply)
Easy Park Car
At the flick of a switch, the wheels on your car turn by 90degrees and you can drive sideways into a tight space.

You know it makes sense!
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 12:34, Reply)
A hot chocolate mug
that kind of pulsates at the base, thereby keeping all the undissolved granules in suspension, avoiding the 'too sweet at bottom' problem. Also useful for other 'add liquid to powder' drinks, and to those who have too much sugar in tea.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 12:33, Reply)
ive often thought about heating baked beans up by pouring them into an empty kettle and flicking the switch

another 1 is cheese on toast with a toaster - laying the toaster on its side so you can put the cheese on to melt it
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 12:30, Reply)
Burberry Detector
This is probably getting a bit to close to the the eugenics debate but...
Doctors/professors/whoever invents 'stuff' should develop an easy to administer genetic test for newborn babies that can ascertain wether the child will grow up to be a scally/chav/redneck (whatever you like to call the moronic-morally-fashionably challenged). If they are likely to wear too much burberry in their teens the child can be dealt with.
I've tried inventing this test but examining genes with a magnifying glass is quite difficult.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 12:19, Reply)
I would like a real life speeder bike
Imagine that? whooooshh!!
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 12:06, Reply)
Heatsink clothing
I get too hot in the summer and it would be really useful to have some thermaly conductive clothing with fins to massively increase my surface area. That would rock.

Could also have a night-time version with the fins on only one side.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 12:02, Reply)
You know!

For kids!
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 11:47, Reply)
The new omni sunglasses - Patent pending!!!
How about sunglasses with a HUD display with things like time, day, things to do list. Also they could have a mini camera in to log the faces of the people you meet and also log there name. This would be soooo very very usefull to me because i almost istantly forget someones name the first time i meet them. With my new glasses it could remind me as soon as i see them.
Also some sort of laser beam weapon on them would be a cool function.
Expect to see in all good retail outlets soon.

P.S Sorry the spring loaded frying pan idea was invented by Homer Simpson with hilarious results.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 11:45, Reply)
You know when you are half way between asleep and awake
and you sometimes have the most vivid dreams which you actually feel you can steer in any direction and make up as you go along?

I want something that will record those dreams so you can play them back after you wake up and see if they were as good as you thought they were. And if they were, you can sell them to some big shot director to make into a movie.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 11:42, Reply)
I definitely think it's time someone invented
something that did all my work for me, so I could sit back and make things for b3ta all day long. But just so as they didn't think that they could get rid of me and not pay me, it would have to be seemingly complicated to switch on and off so only I could do it.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 11:39, Reply)
Liquid-evident fabric on Thameslink train seats
I'd recommend some sort of perky colour change material. And a super-absorbent lockaway core.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 11:37, Reply)
I suggested a heated steering wheel to my boyfriend a while back in the winter
but apparently posh cars already have that option.

I'd like a self cleaning car. my car gets filthy and I'm lazy, even the carwash is too much effort, and my mud is soooo stuck they don't get it all off anyway.

oooh, non-stick mud!

oh and jumpers with heating filaments or tubes you can fill with hot water, cos our office is freezing cold.
(, Thu 8 Apr 2004, 11:15, Reply)

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