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This is a question Letters they'll never read

"Apologies, anger, declarations of love, things you want to say to people, but can't or didn't get the chance to." Suggestion via reducedfatLOLcat.

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 13:56)
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Dear lovely chinese girl at the station,

You probably know me as "that odd, long-haired idiot at the train-station every morning", or maybe you haven't noticed me at all... anyway...

I can't help sneaking glances at you and doing the whole "forced-casual pose" that makes me look like I've had a mild stroke. You look like exactly the kind of girl I'd like to know: a rocker (judging by your jeans and fingerless gloves with skulls on), an intellectual (you're always reading - REAL stuff, not slagozines), and you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen.

...But I'll never have the guts too talk to you because at that time of the morning I have the charm and appearance of the contents of my vacuum-cleaner.

yours sheepishly, Zumf.
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 15:44, 28 replies)
You are 13
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 15:59, closed)
I'm 25
But put me infront of a girl who I deem to be staggeringly attractive and I regress.

Why is it always raining in your posts?
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:24, closed)
It's not.
In fact, I think you'll find the majority of my posts are without rain.
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:14, closed)
Oh... My... God! That's you?
I've noticed you every morning, looking sheepish and pretending you're not watching.

I never thought we'd get chance to finally meet, but now I know you're single, I'd love to meet up some time!

Yours longingly

Zak the station toilet cleaner
(the guy with the stiffy holding a broom / leering at you while you're perving at some Chinese bird).
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:01, closed)

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:02, closed)
*office snort, choke and apology for not working when I should be*
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:38, closed)
Aww, that's quite cute.
(I know and understand your pain all too well.)
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:04, closed)
Cheers Crow :)
No pain, just annoyance at myself :p
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:36, closed)
It's alright
I suffer from an acute case of Yellow Fever myself. I did actually make the mistake a few years ago of trying to talk to the Oriental Goddess I'd seen wafting around the department and made the most complete and total arse of myself. Not to discourage you, of course: if the 'Flirting' QOTW taught us anything*, you never know what might happen if you just try. (And if you do, best of luck to you)

*Other than the fact that we are all attention-seeking, Asperger's-ridden social failures
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:40, closed)
Well, I have had a chinese (English born) girlfriend before, and yes. Amazing. Luckily, I she approached me first, so I didn't have to! Doesn't happen often enough.

Good luck to you too, sah!
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:44, closed)

my S.O. is chinese... dont, under any circumstances call a chinese person 'oriental' - that's what you call carpets. apparantly.

/sorry love, wont happen again.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 15:06, closed)
My wife is Chinese*...
... and she refers to herself and others as Oriental. Often says she doesn't see it as anything other than factual.

The only rule is - everything will offend someone.

* Actually British-born Chinese rather than mail-order Chinese.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 15:58, closed)
My girlfriend is Vietnamese...
And she loves it when I call her an "Oriental hottie"...

(, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 19:35, closed)
Aah. Standard. Everyone's been there.
Just go for it. Please. :)
(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:20, closed)

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:37, closed)
At the risk of sounding politically incorrect...
She sooo horny; she love you long time - ten dolla! TEN DOLLA!

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:49, closed)

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(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 23:59, closed)
Oh and I know people say this sort of stuff all the time
But do try and talk to her... seriously making yourself look like a bellend for 2 minutes (which it'll be if she's really not interested) is far better than wishing you had done something. Talk to her about what she's reading and avoid even the hopeful sarcastic line of "So do you come her often", or any other chat up line.

Seriously you'll regret it if you haven't tried and she turns up with some turd of a bloke in tow or moves jobs etc.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 0:05, closed)
Which station?
If you aren't man enough, I'd like a crack at her.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 13:14, closed)
Why not buy her a coffee...
.. and take it over and drink yours with her - then you can take a sip while the morning-brain kicks in.

It's a great way to discover she hates coffee.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 16:01, closed)
I was already thinking that.
(, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 0:54, closed)
(, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 14:05, closed)
Ask about the book she's reading!
You don't have to worry about how you sound if she is talking. ;)

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, and catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- Mark Twain
(, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 0:57, closed)
Are you sure she is Chinese and not another Asian nationality?
(, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 0:58, closed)
I'm 90% sure
I'm not sure I can tell with 100% accuracy on appearance alone though :) I'll never forget when I fist met my ex, I asked "I know this will sounds stupid, but... you ARE Chinese aren't you?". I got laughed in my face... She could have been Thai or North Korean for all I know! Man.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 0:21, closed)
Do this.

Tell us where this station is, one of us will print this out, and hand her a copy.

Without all the 'Can I shag her then' replies, obv.

At worse, you'll have to find another station, or get a haircut so she doesn;t recognise you.
(, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 12:38, closed)
I like this idea (the one that doesn't involve me cutting my hair). But for the sake of anonymity, I'm gonna keep it a secret :)
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 0:25, closed)
You know the sums - one awkward moment / lifetime of blah blah blah.

You must do something. LEt b3ta form a plan, some of us are relatively normal and won't fuck it up!
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 10:04, closed)

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