I've been with my current employer for about 8 months now
...and I honestly have no fucking clue what I'm doing. Not a dot.
Every now and then, the boss calls me over to ask me to do something and I just smile and nod as if I have some idea what she's talking about, but in reality she may as well be speaking Klingon. Fuck, I'd probably have a better chance of understanding that based on the fact that I've seen 3 or 4 episodes of Star Trek.
I can't help but shake the feeling that I'm depriving someone more worthwhile out of what is, ultimately, a decent job.
(Kushan just wants to fit in..to your mum, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 13:42, 26 replies)

I shouldn't be too gloomy about it
I'm exactly the same and I have been at it for nearly 25 years.
(username failed moderation, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 13:45, closed)

Username failed moderation in clueless shocker

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 13:59, closed)

rory lyon in fat repetitive ballbag shocker.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 14:38, closed)

Rory Lyon
Sounds all echoey these days
It must be from having his head jammed firmly up his own arse
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:37, closed)

So what's your job title / description?

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 13:50, closed)

software developer
the software bit I can do fine, but I have no idea what our software actually DOES
(Kushan just wants to fit in..to your mum, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 14:01, closed)

oooohhhh kaaaayyyy... so how do you tell if it's working, then?
Ah, I've sussed it - you work for Microsoft. So, if the software doesn't work, you just attempt to re-defined the meaning of "working".
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 14:05, closed)

Maybe it doesn't do anything
Maybe it's code that decomplies itself, then deletes random lines from itself.
(username failed moderation, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 14:05, closed)

Sounds like all code, to me

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:15, closed)

HP?
Edit- Prob not you wouldn't be in the UK...
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:18, closed)

No, not HP
It's a little company that nobody here will have heard of. They do some remarkably niche stuff. By "little" I mean that in total it employs about 16 people, 3 of which are developers (that includes me). I haven't been lost in the marvel that is corporate idiocy or anything like that, I think I'm just incredibly good at making it sound like I know what I'm doing when really all I do is tinker with random bits of code until something changes. Then tinker some more until it changes the right way.
(Kushan just wants to fit in..to your mum, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 14:26, closed)

Wasn't this an episode of Black Books?
Is there a creepy guy whole fiddles in his pocket the whole time?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 13:55, closed)

And a fat woman?

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 13:56, closed)

Doesn't that describe most of the people on here?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 14:11, closed)

I've been doing it for over 5 years now
It's good work if you can get it
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 14:35, closed)

you can't be that bad.
Otherwise they'd have chucked you out. Programming is quite easy to assess. Or you work in an amazingly slack workplace.

Can you get me in?
(skgorsky, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 14:45, closed)

i swear
I.T and human resources are the only remaining sectors where it's possibly to earn a decent wage while doing ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL, and knowing less than that about it.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 14:55, closed)

Sounds a bit technical to me
You want to be a software tester, you really have to know fuck all, apart from the ability to say "It don't work".
Easiest money in IT....
( gadjie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 19:25, closed)

This is obviously bollocks
Everyone has seen more than 3 or 4 episodes of Star Trek.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:56, closed)

Not everyone.
Not even if you combine all the different variants.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:49, closed)

Lies!
Oh hang on, I see what you're doing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:57, closed)

i know right?!
i like the one where luke uses the lightsword
( wjh31, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 21:46, closed)

Ok, you got me - I've seen a lot of Star Trek
Some might even class me as a "trekkie" since I like the shows AND the films. Still, I can't speak a word of Klingon beyond "The enterprise is under attack, wake up and DO something!" and that was due to an alarm clock I had as a kid.
(Kushan just wants to fit in..to your mum, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 14:21, closed)

I am in exactly the same boat...

Only it's been just seven months now for me .


As I type this, I'm a bit squiffy after a 'liquid lunch', and I have yet to recieve my 'confirmation of employment' letter.

Fuck this lark, I'm going home.

IT FTW!
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:30, closed)

It's all fun and games till you get outsourced.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 0:04, closed)

I'll see your 8 months and raise you 8 years

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 8:24, closed)