Bleht
Never met any english women I liked that much, excepting the temporary marriages between.
Leaving country to be with my long term Kiwi female mate, now progressed to sexy time 20 years later and hope to exit UK ASAP. UK, It's shite!
(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Tue 8 Oct 2013, 18:37, 31 replies)

Are you sure you're from the UK? You don't really talk like someone from the UK

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 18:55, closed)

He doesn't even make sense

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 18:56, closed)

I think you have to read his previous answers in order to have any clue as to what he may
perhaps be fucking banging on about.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 10:24, closed)

Learn the fucking language, you puke-stained ballgag.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 18:59, closed)

You'll finally get to whisper sweet gibberish into her ear.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 19:10, closed)

I'd really insert to winky in your foofoo, anticipate orgasmation.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 19:14, closed)

Holy shit, it's E L James!
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 19:48, closed)

Is it really as bad as everyone says?
I'd prefer not to soil my mind finding out first hand
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 19:50, closed)

What? Sex? Yeah. If anything it's worse.
I wish there was a way to do it that didn't involve touching a lady.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 19:56, closed)

I dunno, my maths teacher tried to get me to do something with my hand, it didn't work out the way he was expecting though

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 20:08, closed)

There's some funny videos of people trying to read it without laughing.
Spoiler - they can't.
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 21:00, closed)

apart from Gilbert Gottfried
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 21:45, closed)

Probably. Aspiring authors are told, "write about what you know" - and it seems unlikely that anyone's knobbed that frumpy manthing.

Only one of the following is Bernard Breslaw in a wig:

( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 21:58, closed)

Massive lol
I've read the first page. A friend tried to get me to read the first chapter, but I just couldn't get through it.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 0:46, closed)

Post like this more often, you're great when you're not being all angry.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:41, closed)

Denigrating women on the basis of their appearance is edgy and cool!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 13:17, closed)

When they've committed such unspeakable crimes against literature, culture and general human decency,
along with setting feminism back about 30 years, they're fair game.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:30, closed)

Plus I don't think anyone had mentioned a woman in this thread.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:31, closed)

Ha!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 19:43, closed)

Eh, send it to the letters page of Just Seventeen.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:33, closed)

20 years to get your legover?
Top lurking!
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 8 Oct 2013, 19:59, closed)

It may not be the nationality that thwarts your attempts at relationships.
( Ken Oath, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 3:43, closed)

Anyone who can withstand the Kiwi accent at close quarters for a prolonged period
is either some kind of saint, or a fucking idiot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 8:21, closed)

Fucking Oath.
I know us Aussies sound harsh, but Kiwis are in another league altogether.
( Ken Oath, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:43, closed)

May I offer my apologies for the many ways in which our education system has so obviously failed you?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 8:50, closed)

Bon Voyage.
England will certainly miss your obvious intelligence and razor-sharp wit.
(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 10:00, closed)

Really? It's down to me to point out that he fucks animals?
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiwi
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:42, closed)

I'd rather finger a dog than fuck a Kiwi.
( Ken Oath, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:59, closed)

Nah, he just sticks his cock in a tin of shoe polish every night.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 0:12, closed)

You've clearly
not yet mastered the language.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 9 Oct 2013, 22:28, closed)

English.
Slowly and loudly.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 10 Oct 2013, 8:22, closed)