Marriage saved by cloth eared child
Back when my eldest child was still young, I took it for a walk around the park. Whilst there, I made note of the fine posterior of a lady jogger who passed me. I did so quietly, so she'd not know I was a filthy perv.

Unfortunately my child heard me but fortunately, he had a limited vocabulary.

Later on, the missus asked me whether something odd had been happening in our local park. It seems that the little one told her that daddy had seen a "Nice Horse" when they were out.

Marital bullets dodged: +1
(csdaveuk, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 9:36, 17 replies)

there's nothing tragic about this story

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 9:38, closed)

Good point... what about my pathetic gratitude about not getting caught?

(csdaveuk, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:52, closed)

You sound like a lovely bloke
What kind of sociopath refers to their eldest child as "it"?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 9:52, closed)

What kind spends his days calling out strangers on internet forums?
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:16, closed)

Er?
Your kind?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:22, closed)

You make a good point
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:29, closed)

So B3ta
Many laughter
Wow
( pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:36, closed)

twat.
do you trawl around internet forums in the hope of picking up a small grammatical error or a bad description in the hope that you can try and use big words to annoy people?
have you any idea even what the word "sociopath" actually means?
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:15, closed)

Where the fuck do you think you are?
You massive bender
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 18:29, closed)

Massive what the fuck question springs to mind.
Where do I think I am? Eh? What in the name of shitting fuckery are you dribbling on about?
Oh and in reference to "you massive bender" I am pretty lithe, so I guess I can stretch, bend and contort myself into various positions.

Unlike you, whom I can only guess is a fat sweaty retard dribbling all over his keyboard as you tuck into another *bowl of cheese covered chips - the only bending you probably do is bending your arm down to the food that you trough into your mouth.

*bowl = the size of an average washing up bowl.

You are a cunt, AICMFP.
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 22:03, closed)

You'll do yourself an injury sweetheart
with that level of internet upset
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 22:49, closed)

Try 'to' use.
Just a small grammatical error you understand.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 29 Aug 2014, 22:12, closed)

One that doesn't want you to know which gender it is

( pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:37, closed)

I did wonder about that being the cause, then I saw the 'he' in the next sentence of the original post to refer to the same child.

Possibly good intention ruined by inconsistency
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 15:32, closed)

i like this

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:02, closed)

It wasnt you dont get your hopes up

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:55, closed)

See that's clickable that is.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 29 Aug 2014, 22:14, closed)