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This is a question Misheard and Misunderstood

Rachelswipe says: My niece - after months of begging - was finally allowed to get a hamster, and her grandfather was utterly horrified to learn that it had been called "Nipples", a pretty good name for a pet if you ask us. Alas, it was only the more mundane "Nibbles" - what have you misheard or misunderstood, with truly hilarious consequences?

(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 21:35)
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I often get up very early in the morning in the middle of my holidays to delete arguments I had on the internet about my holiday.
It's a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 17:24, 2 replies)
Well, yeah, ok.
*Backs away from the internet.*
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 17:46, closed)
sometimes right ... sometimes ... when I'm on a business trip I'll take photos out of the hotel window
and make up stories about how my imaginary children are having a lovely time

But I'm definitely not mental.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 17:48, closed)
See, I was quite prepared to believe that he was going on holiday to Florida, right up to the point where he deleted the entire thread at a time when he should have been boarding his plane.
:/
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 17:53, closed)
You credulous fools.
He clearly boarded one of his own fleet of aircraft, which he bought to fly around his property portfolio and on which he's allowed to use wifi all the time, because the cabins are clad with special pizza-oven bricks so it doesn't interfere with the instruments or owt.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 18:33, closed)
That's a bit cynical.
After all ... it's not like he was demonstrably still in the UK a week after having announced his exciting departure.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 18:44, closed)
You're not a 'winner' here mate, by any stretch
Yes, Albert's been shown to be more of a pitiful fantasist than we already knew, and it's clear that you are wetting yourself with glee over it. But that's only because of a quite disturbing level of creepy and obsessive stalking, which seems to be becoming your MO.

Take a look at yourself.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 18:47, closed)
Yeah. I still look pretty handsome and popular. Thanks for reminding me.
But hey ... if sending a single gaz message with a traceable link and relying on him being profoundly stupid counts as obsessive stalking in your books then I'll just have to live with the terrible shame of disapproval from a sock puppet. If ... if ... if I could just stop this sobbing ... I'd ... I'd cuddle my children. Who aren't imaginary. Or stuck in a shopping mall in Florida. Sob.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 18:51, closed)
Dunno mate, the pictures that got posted of you were of a fat middle aged dull looking chap attempting "zany". Your superhero post count kindof tells it's own story as to how popular you are in real life.
You've even managed to out creep Albert with your l33thax3r sleuthing "trace" on him. Quite what you pull out of the bag when your kids bring their schoolfriends round is anyone's guess mate, but I imagine it'll be cameras in the toilet at the very least.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 18:58, closed)
Have you had cosmetic surgery?
Or are you confusing your Cliff Richards calender with the mirror?
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:00, closed)
calendar

(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:40, closed)
I've learnt something new today
A calender is apparently a machine in which cloth or paper is pressed by rollers to glaze or smooth it
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:43, closed)
don't forget your colendar

(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:54, closed)
You can get Cliff Richard colanders?

(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 20:58, closed)
yeah
the holes are too small to put your dick in unless-

i have disgusted myself
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 21:27, closed)

You seem to have gone totally Ahab here mate, is this guy your White Whale?
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 20:47, closed)
He does look fat and pasty judging by the photos.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 8:05, closed)
heh

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 8:37, closed)
I appreciate his extra effort this week in pricking Albert's fantasy blowfish
if it wasn't for fine B3tans such as him going that extra yard we might have had to tolerate the usual QOTW drabness. It's Albert who honda accords the forum in the first place with unrelated lookatme, so I reckon saying that checking his IP location is stalky is a bit strong.
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 6:47, closed)

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