when i was a letting agent, there was a competitor agency in the village where the father had set up a thriving business and was in due course to pass it on to his children
unfortunately, whilst the father was shrewd and bright, the daughter was a famously coke-addled fuckwit. one of their letting agents came to work for us, and told us a story.

father agent was rather a harsh man to work for, and unforgiving at best. he would fire people for really very small misdemeanours. but daughter agent, when she joined after leaving university because nobody else would have hired her, made fuck-up after fuck-up.

finally, she excelled herself. they had one house that wouldn't shift, even though it was in a very desirable part of town, because it needed work doing to it and the famously stingy landlord wouldn't do anything about it. daughter agent announced that the staff were - sniff - hopeless and she would get it - sniff - let, and marched off on a viewing.

she came back, having not let it, which she pronounced in a sniffy rage because it was a total shithole. and promptly spent £15,000 doing it up. new kitchen, new bathroom, the lot.

when the landlord got his quarterly statement and saw that he owed £15,000, he came straight down to the office to demand a meeting with father agent. he was the colour of a boiled tomato. they took him into the back office, but the staff could hear the shouting through the door.

turned out daughter agent had gotten the house confused with one that father agent owned on the same street, hence having it refurbed without permission and without any agreement from the owner to pay for the works...........

and she still didn't get sacked. sniff.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:00, 26 replies)

I think you meant to say
Tosser, go away
( Peej, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:11, closed)

I liked it, but you don't seem to be clued in to the latest protocol.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:19, closed)

worse than skagra

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:25, closed)

oh fuck you, cuntbreath

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:31, closed)

Conform
Or Die.



Apparently...
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:57, closed)

Harsh.

(McChinaman banned, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 18:19, closed)

jesus wept

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:32, closed)

aye, but not for you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 16:05, closed)

I like this and will click - sniff
but - 'she excelled himself'??

/pedant
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:50, closed)

It's the process by which
Jobsworths appear to be doing work but are actually only planning their weekly shop inside a spreadsheet.
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:54, closed)

^I feel a bit guilty about this
as I am meant to be working on a spreadsheet now but I'm drinking beer and watching top gear.
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:59, closed)

i don't know what you're talking about......... *whistles* ...............

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 16:05, closed)

Clicked

(Porcupine, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 15:50, closed)

Bet her daddy bought her a whole flat as well. Spoilt cow.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Oct 2014, 16:05, closed)

sorry, what was that?
couldn't hear you over the sound of you sniffing someone's crotch...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 16:06, closed)

If you can hear it,
it's probably yours.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 16:16, closed)

*clenches*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 16:21, closed)

On the plus side this was the description:
"face wedged into an attractive girl's mimsy"
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 16:29, closed)

I think that almost certainly rules her out then.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Oct 2014, 17:22, closed)

yeah, that makes it less creeeeeepy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 17:38, closed)

I think you are:
a) reading far too much into a story on the internet
b) failing to understand the basic principles of kinetics

HTH xxx
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Oct 2014, 18:50, closed)

Or Cunetics
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Sun 12 Oct 2014, 20:40, closed)

Clicked
The meek might inherit the earth but not until the incompetent have finished fucking it up.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 16:55, closed)

In my experience, letting agents are lazy, ill-informed, lazy, money-grubbing, lazy cunts
The one I'm dealing with at the moment has no idea what the legal requirements are for a property to be allowed to be let (smoke alarms, fire doors etc etc) and takes, at best, three weeks to respond to an email.
I'm meeting with them on Monday morning. They don't know that this meeting is actually going ahead yet, but I'll be there on their doorstep when they open. I won't be discreet.
Did I mention that they're lazy? I might have - in passing.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 19:01, closed)

waaaaahhhhh
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 19:49, closed)

You don't sound very placid.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Sat 11 Oct 2014, 12:30, closed)