The Cat @ Nantwich
Now its a eatery, but in the 80's and ealry 90's The Cheshire Cat was a legend. The venue itself was a 16th C historical builidng, inside was pure debanchery.
Nightclub or Rock Club. On the weekends is was open till 2am. Highlighs included, THE STICKIEST CARPET in the whole of the Nighclubbing world. Hudrends of those 7x6 Mirrors with Black Sabbath, Van Halen & Twisted Sister on them, and the Walls, the walls were Plasteboard walls with handy holes punched in them, made a great place to rest your drink in/on. Gret days :) I was a reguar at The Cat and had better nights there than at Jillys/Rockworld in Manchester.
(Gru being trolled since 1998, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 20:17, Reply)

Okay, I'll tell you all the long story of how I ended up dancing naked down Margate seafront on a Bank Holiday Monday
It all started in a nightclub over in Ramsgate called Peggy Sue's...


*Deleted due to legal reasons*

If this qotw is still up in an hour or so I'll tell the full unexpurgated version and to hell with the legalities.

*EDIT* Hmm...over an hour....the b3ta gods are playing chicken....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 19:10, 11 replies)

Hello? Hello?
Hello? Is there anyone there? I fell asleep in the loo. Hello? Is there anyone here?

Could you turn the lights on please?
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 19:03, Reply)

They've played Take That and turned on the ugly lights....
...but you're still here.

Haven't you people got homes to go to?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:57, 1 reply)

last but not least.......
erm... last?
(urbanbushmonkey, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:51, Reply)

Miss Heard
My mate Will told me he was in the ex-Malaap Club in Bristol dancing with a very sexy dominating-type chick and she whispered into his ear:

"Let's go somewhere else so I can torture you"

And he bottled it and left.

He regretted his actions when I suggested that she had more than likely said:

"Let's go somewhere else so I can TALK TO you."

Silly Will.
(kingnutter, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:35, Reply)

F5 F5 F5
Come on DJ, stop stalling and change the song already
(TheManWhoWas SlightlyKnackered, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:32, Reply)

Jeebus
This is like when you're hanging around outside the club cos your mate is still in the toilets
(SarcasticBarSteward wants to be good at Photoshop when he grows up, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:31, Reply)

The only thing you'd be last at, mate
is the race of Evolution.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:31, Reply)

Dammit
And there was me thinking I was last
(urbanbushmonkey, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:30, Reply)

*joins in*
Do I win?
(Guilt wants to get in your moist confines, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:30, Reply)

You guess wrong
for I am last.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:26, Reply)

below...
and finally.. I guess i'm last?

(close the fucker and get the next one started)
(urbanbushmonkey, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:16, Reply)

If this is last
I want you all to know I didn't even want to be last. I just wanted to ruin it for someone who does.
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:00, Reply)

Barsteward...
Slightly topical counter!
(TheManWhoWas SlightlyKnackered, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:00, Reply)

last?
claim to fame?
(King of Swandanavia Proud owner of the worlds first Flong, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 17:59, Reply)

You wish

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 17:59, Reply)

Last!
Maybe?
(TheManWhoWas SlightlyKnackered, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 17:55, Reply)

I've worked
in several nightclubs in Swansea. Nothing will ever beat the trauma of working one night in a seventies bar and one classy woman who was definitely old enough to know better flinging her knickers at the bar.
(timewarper, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 17:07, 2 replies)

Prague
It was more a bar than a nightclub, but worth sharing anyway.
Whilst in Prague with my brother, we were walking from the Old Square bit towards Wenceslas bit, and my brother was a little bit in need of a trip to the toilet. So, we nipped into a bar on this side street. It was a Mexican bar. So, warning signs to be noted - off the main tourist drag, Mexican bar, Prague. So anyway, we get ripped off for a beer each, which turned out to be in a bloody can, and my brother goes through to the toilet. It's locked, so he comes back and sits down. Waits a bit, and still no sign of someone leaving the dunny, so he asks the barwoman about it, and she just says, 'Un momento', which really adds to the surreal element.
A bit more time passes, still no sign of someone leaving, yet another 'un momento' given.

Finally! Door opens, and out walks - hold on, that's both a woman and a man leaving the loo. Hmmmmm.

Brother merrily skips off to go empty his bladder and I wait (noticing that the man has gone to the bar, and the woman went outside to join some other women that had started to congregate outside). Hmmmm, right, this is getting a bit more dodgy.

Brother returns, looking a bit less stressed as he's emptied his bladder, and warns me that if I need a pee, not to use the left trap. So I think a bit on that, wondering why the door was locked if there were further traps inside. Then I ask him why not the left trap. The answer? Because there's a floater and a condom in the bowl. Yes, a turd and condom cohabiting the small enclosed water-filled space. Poor brother - that sight must have burned on to his retina.

Then I notice some movement out the window - 'brother, one of those suspicious ladies is beckoning to me...no, no, one of those ladies is just coming in the bar'.

So, after assuring the lady we didn't want any business, particularly not a 3some as we were brothers, we got out the worst mexican bar I've ever seen.

Fortunately, it wasn't that nightclub in dusk till dawn.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 16:33, 2 replies)