Technical Acumen
A contract job in the UK turned pear-shaped for me due to a throw-away remark. I was hauled before an HR board to discuss my "racist comments" to a co-worker.

It started when one of the computer admins left and his job was posted on the internal website.

"Windows Admin role?" chirruped a girl who worked near me. "Look at the salary!! That's 4 times what I get paid. I'm going to apply."

I looked at her said:

"A Windows admin role needs a really high degree of technical knowledge - and you have the technical abilities of a chocolate biscuit. You can't even use Outlook"

She laughed - and then went to HR to charge me with racism. She was English/Indian and was about as dark as I get when I stand in front of a light bulb for an hour.


The HR interview was fun. (Aside: Why are almost all HR Harpies female?) Apparently, my crime was the use of the word "chocolate" when I described her technical skills.

"Why did you use that word?" snarls Harpy1 "Was it a reference to her Indian heritage"

"Not at all" I replied. "At the time I was eating my lunch and had chocolate digestive in my hand. I just used it to illustrate a point. The point being that my biscuit had more technical acumen than her"

Anyways. This shit went on for a couple of hours. HR wanting to fire me. My boss and his boss telling them there were being ridiculous and I was needed to finish the project I was on. Then, all was adjourned until the next day so HR could poll the people who who worked with me to see if I was a KKK member.

Late the next day I was told that all complaints were dropped.

Designated Driver - nicknamed Desi, was cap-wearing, pork-dodging, full-bearded member of our Muslim community. I'd just recommended him for promotion.

One of the girls from the support center went mental. She was one of my leper-colony, smoking mates. Indian, very dark skin and a thick accent. I'd had her and her husband over for dinner a few times.

Moral of the story is, if you have to describe someones ability and refer to a biscuit - don't use the word chocolate.

Cheers

TLDR - some bint tried to get me sacked by calling her technical ability as on par with a chocolate biscuit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 11:48, 14 replies)

Cheers

( $$ ✅, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 11:53, closed)

Luckily some of my best friends are darkies.
Cheers
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 11:57, closed)

They prefer the term chocolate hob nobs these days m8

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 13:55, closed)

Casual racism isn't funny or ironic, please give it a rest.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 12:13, closed)

...whereas rampant sexism is fine, right?

(Porcupine, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 12:38, closed)

misogyny mate, misogyny

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 12:49, closed)

casual racism Dozer
( Peej, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 13:24, closed)

my racist Indian female friend was accused of racism in the workplace by a spear chucking coco shunter, needless to say
She had the last laugh.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 13:38, closed)

^ has the social skills of a chocolate biscuit

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 14:05, closed)

now we see the racism inherent in the digestive system

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 19:37, closed)

my poos are brown

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 19:39, closed)

I think it's quite suspect that you used the word chocolate,when biscuit alone would have sufficed. But then, some of your friends are black so you can't be racist. You even let one into your home.

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 17 Jun 2015, 23:09, closed)

home
mum
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 18 Jun 2015, 10:28, closed)