
Our Ginger Fuhrer says that he could still code up a simple game idea in Amstrad Basic, while I'm your man if you ever need to rebuild the suspension on an Austin Allegro (1750 Equipe version). This stuff doesn't leave your mind - tell us about obsolete talents you still have.
( , Thu 30 Jun 2011, 17:04)
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I can strip down and clean the SA-80 combat rifle. It's a proper piece of crap and I'm astonished anyone managed to shoot anything with it.
I can take a '1 pint bath'. Proper rank that is.
I can skin, clean and prepare a rabbit and cook it and usually (dependant on size of rabbit) also end up with some nice fingerless mittens. Or a rabbit glove puppet to entertain the kids with...
I know how to use an axe properly as well.
However, I'm now a director in a major investment/management firm. In the event I have to use all of these skills at the same time you had better be more concerned about the downfall of society as we know it...
( , Mon 4 Jul 2011, 16:18, 25 replies)

0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o
( , Mon 4 Jul 2011, 16:24, closed)

0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o 0-o
( , Tue 5 Jul 2011, 8:15, closed)

It's a bit like that only you cut off your genitals and put them in a pint glass instead.
( , Mon 4 Jul 2011, 16:44, closed)

you'd probably prefer this option.
Unless hygiene is not your thing.
( , Mon 4 Jul 2011, 16:55, closed)

rather than have to wash in a small amount of water?
( , Mon 4 Jul 2011, 17:12, closed)

you can do all your personal hygiene needs in a VERY particular order with one pint of water.
In certain unfortunate circumstances you need to know this order.
( , Mon 4 Jul 2011, 16:54, closed)

In fact, I'd hazard:
Teeth
Face
Hair
Limbs
Pits
Balls
Feet
Arse
Am I right?
( , Mon 4 Jul 2011, 16:56, closed)

Directors of major investment/management firms do not read b3ta. From my experience, few of them can actually read.
( , Mon 4 Jul 2011, 17:36, closed)

hold on while i go grab my broom
( , Mon 4 Jul 2011, 17:54, closed)

I've also shot a rabbit with one, although after at least 100 rounds of 5.56 between the 6 of us, there wasn't much left to skin
( , Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:11, closed)

we were on the range in Winchester, getting prepared when a bunny sauntered onto the range about 70mtrs away, a little wink from the Sergeant, and it was fire at will.
My mate was in 2 Para and managed to kill a sheep with a GPMG on a moor somewhere, totally by accident though.
( , Tue 5 Jul 2011, 10:57, closed)

You just start aiming somewhere below and left of what you want to hit and then pull the trigger and pray.
( , Wed 6 Jul 2011, 8:52, closed)

If I'd known how crap it was I wouldn't have clenched my sphincter quite so tightly.
* the chatty Royal Navy guard on the deck of HMS Ark Royal coughed and blushed and hastily swung it away from my beer gut when I quietly asked, "is that thing loaded?"
( , Tue 5 Jul 2011, 0:14, closed)

Oh, and the magazine release catch is on the left side of the body and early versions weren't recessed, so anyone right-handed running with one could accidentally release the mag, say in the middle of some woods, without knowing it. This goes down well with senior NCOs.
Mind you, it still wasn't as bad as the L98 version given to cadets. It jammed so often it might as well have been made of soft fruit and sugar.
( , Wed 6 Jul 2011, 8:50, closed)

Having been a cadet and having spent more time on field exercises attempting to clear the bloody thing than actually shooting*.
*blanks, naturally. Insert joke here about infertility etc.
( , Wed 6 Jul 2011, 15:58, closed)

You also remember how to tell 100% made up facts.
*click* ... for "...SA-80 combat rifle. It's a proper piece of crap and I'm astonished anyone managed to shoot anything with it."
( , Wed 6 Jul 2011, 15:22, closed)
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