It's quiet on here today
Are you all trying to get your homework finished before going back to school tomorrow?

I'm bored.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 2 Jan 2012, 16:31, 61 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I've been pondering on this for some time
A mate of mine suggested that I couldn't think of a better fake porno movie pun title than:

Cruel Bummings

The best I've been able to come up with is:

Torn on the Fourth of July.

I want to beat this guy. I need your help.
( WormuIus, Mon 2 Jan 2012, 11:11, 38 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So after today's bank holiday it's thankfully back to normal tomorrow
What have you disliked about the last couple of weeks of festive bollocks?

Alt: Any new year resolutions?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jan 2012, 10:55, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

OK, so 2012 predictions
(that don't involve the Mayans)

Who's going to die?
Which country will revolt/collapse/implode in some way?
What natural disaster will occur?
How many times will Bert reappear?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 1 Jan 2012, 18:24, 111 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Oh what a glorious morning, oh what a glorious day, I got a funny feeling, sunshine is coming my way.
Oh man, I woke up and made my bed so when I go to bed tonight it'll be all nice and snug like it was last night. I woke up 4 times to have a fag, but I resisted and had it in my smoking chair and not in my bedroom as normally I wake up every couple of hours, have a few drags of a fag and then go back to sleep in my bedroom. Eventually I'll be able to go the whole night without a fag. Oh god, that sounds pathetic, but still, totally doing something about it, LOOK FORWARDS, NOT BACKWARDS.

My shower is awesome, I get the temprature I want when I want it and it's really really really powerful and I felt so nice after, I need to score myself a shower curtain and one of those plastic bath matts and a matt for the bathroom too.

A mate I ain't spoken to in tiiime has moved into enfield town too, so that is a score. Why doesn't

Why isn't Food Network on Freeview on at the moment? It's on on sky and virgin, it should be on freeview too.

I'm gonna take a walk into the town today, pearsons is open, hopefully HMV is too. Just waiting for my tablets to kick in. Donno what else i'll do today, maybe put some clothes away for the charity shop.

Your plans/brain-farts of the day?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 1 Jan 2012, 11:48, 97 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Happy New Year!
Fucking hell, am I hungover.

I hope you all had fun last night and are looking forward to 2012.

Peace out.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 1 Jan 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Does anyone else think
that Jools Holland doesn't look so well?


Oh Happy fucking new year quenders.

Use lube this year.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sat 31 Dec 2011, 23:59, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'M IN I'M IN I'M IN MY LOVELY NEW FLAT
Today I got a hoover and some really really nice bedding* and some bedside lights** and a really nice new hoover*** and some other bits...ermm... I got 2 video games (Duke Nukem and Rage) and a 360 remote controller thing for £30.

I think walking bear foot on your carpet for the first time is the cloests a bloke can get to kissing a baby's bottom without having a kid.


* Seriously girls, it's like an adult person's bed clothing, in fact, a flamboyant male adult too.
** So you can do your crochaying or reading of Twlight and Good House Keeping Guide or whatever it is you lot do before you plonk off.
*** To powerful for girls, it's loud, donno about hoovers but it leaves marks in the carpet as I go backwards'n'forwards so I know it's a good one.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 31 Dec 2011, 17:36, 17 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

END OF YEAR REPORTS!
Up since: half seven
Sexy: right hand then left hand
Sky: bleak
Position: half sitting, half laying down
Intake: half a box of cheese twists and a pint of diet coke
Feeling: lazy with hints of smug from the west
Prospects: hazy yet positive
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Sat 31 Dec 2011, 9:55, 53 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Woodwork squeaks and here come...
Was not Was, y'know.

Drunk. Bored. You, charming little urchins that you are?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 21:51, 34 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm so bored
I'm watching old episodes of The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air on Viva.

How are you killing time?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 16:08, 118 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Today really is dragging like an ice age. 2 ice ages in fact.
On the upside I have an Italian girl that works with me that brought me a homemade cheese, cured pork and artichoke sarnie. All fresh brought from Italy yesterday. Fucking yum!

So is it a good idea to go out tonight as well?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 12:44, 98 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

lunch?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 12:21, 17 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Men, eh?
freethoughtblogs.com/greta/2011/12/29/why-yes-but-is-the-wrong-response-to-misogyny/

I'm sure we would never do anything like that.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 7:52, 245 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New years resolutions..
Mine are:

Be less of a cunt

Have as much 'adventure' as possible, and generally try get out of my comfort zone. This is why i have booked scuba diving lessons.
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Thu 29 Dec 2011, 20:59, 33 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Evening thread with no special purpose
or porpoise or dolphin
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 29 Dec 2011, 17:36, 83 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Hello
what's good party food?
I generally hate party food so it has to be something good.

I'm having a new years eve party.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Dec 2011, 12:21, 164 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Nobody else at work?
I'm back today, it's painfully quiet in the office. I'm trying to think of something constructive I can appear to be doing. Looking forward to tonight when I shall be dining with friends and belatedly exchanging presents.

What are you lot up to today?

Alt: it'd be quite amusing if Kim Jong-Un dropped dead now, wouldn't it? And by amusing I mean terrifying. Who would you want dead in 2012 and who would you want to keep going?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Dec 2011, 9:30, 139 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm bored with Christmas threads.
What are you doing on New Years Eve?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 28 Dec 2011, 18:16, 165 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Best present? Worst present?
Best was another huge cheque. Worst was paranormal activity DVDs.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 28 Dec 2011, 13:08, 142 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good morning OffTopic
How are we all this bright and festive December morning? Feeling sprightly and ready to recommence our working lives in the boozy post-Christmas haze?

Who am I kidding, this week is a complete waste of everyone's time. I'll be fucking stunned if we get ten phone calls in total today. And Stunned, you agreed to this bet, provide your own lube.

Tell me of your Christmas joys and back-at-work woes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Dec 2011, 8:08, 123 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Hay Hay, You, You, I don't like your girlfriend.
Hay Hay, You, You, I think you need a new one.

I'm taking a hollyoaks hour out, eating some chinese, and then I'm gonna get back to the packing. I bought 12 of those granny bags that grannies have. Even though the movers should be doing all the packing and bringing of boxes.


////////edit/////

Doen't seem like a lot of people are here, I'll be hanging aorund on talk, please join in on this one: b3ta.com/talk/7414899
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Dec 2011, 19:35, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Don't worry OT
I'm here.
Tell me your fears.
( WormuIus, Tue 27 Dec 2011, 11:28, 54 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Weeeeeeeell it's a bank holiday and it's fucking dead in here so FOOD INSULT WHINGE PUN WIT POLITICS NEW YEAR!

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 27 Dec 2011, 10:52, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I have toffifee, best of the 'chocolates in a tray' genre
unless you disagree, of course...
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Dec 2011, 17:07, 133 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good weekened?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Dec 2011, 12:59, 24 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Happy Christmas Benders.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 25 Dec 2011, 11:14, 26 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Merry Christmas, Off Topic.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 25 Dec 2011, 0:04, 36 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's Christmas Time...
- yeah, no shit Bob and Midge.

There's no need to be afraid... - well, discounting the increased number of drink drivers on the road at this time of year who may kill you to death as you leave the pub, no.

At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade... - apart from the increased likelihood of power cuts, anyway.

There's a world outside your window, and it's a world of dread and fear... - again, back to the drink drivers, and also the fact we live on a council estate, although we do own our own property thanks to the right to buy scheme. Cheers Maggie.

And the only waters flowing, are the bitter sting of tears... - yeah, my Mum would have been 65 today; that's a fucking pisser I grant you. Thanks a bunch.

And so on. Next bit, here we go.

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time... - well, apart from on the highest peaks, eh?

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life... - or AIDS. Probably AIDS.

Where nothing ever grows... - apart from in the rainy season.

No rain or rivers flow... - again, see above.

Do they know it's Christmas time at all?... - well, many will be familiar with the concept seeing as how Christian missionaries and the catholic church have spread the word, but equally, many African countries are Muslim and so probably won't give a shit.

Feed the world... - Well, by the world Bob and Midge, you mean Africa really, so try not to kid us, eh?

Let them know it's Christmas time... - by giving our hard earned money to corrupt African regimes.

LOLJOKE! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 24 Dec 2011, 23:40, 9 replies, latest was 14 years ago)