where did you all go? are you too busy having lunch AND WHAT ARE YOU HAVING FOR LUNCH?
alt: i'm trying to buy new pillows for my spare room, following complaints from a MOST UNGRATEFUL GUEST, but getting confused by the choices. which is best, soft, medium or hard?

alt: i am allergic to feather pillows. what are you allergic to? were people really gluten/sugar/dairy etc intolerant 20 years ago? is it all just attention seeking?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 13:37, 202 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

So yeah.
This: uk.omg.yahoo.com/gossip/the-juice/amanda-holden-sexually-assaulted--famous-comedian--married-to-les-dennis-093000855.html

Who do you reckon it was then?
Alternatively, what celebrities definitely look like the sort?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 12:38, 98 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

to a certain extent youse counts has sometyhing approaching a personality going on for yerselves
in certain cases....e, I dunno, I got distracted for a moment.
You're like the bash street kids I guess and well, hell, I'll subscribe to your comic library every weeek cos you counts bring teh funny more than you fluck me right off so its a good investemtn.

What keeps the rest of you coming back?

Alt: I think swipe fancies me, what baytan poster do you think secretly wants to do the hunka chunka with you?

AltaLT: Embarrass yourselves or summat
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 12:00, 123 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

BACON CHAT.
Best grilled or fried?
How many rashers for the perfect bacon sandwich?
Streaky? Back? Middle?
Smoked or unsmoked?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 11:07, 124 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Thanks to a calendar event I must've set up whilst drunk I may be forced to meet the internet this month
What are your best and worst experiences meeting internet people?

Alt: Have you ever watched a film and gone, 'yep, that's my life in a nutshell right there' ?

Altalt: What was the last thing you faked? For me it was the laugh I did when the leathery checkout assistant gave me the comedy 'once-over' when I was buying some alcohol at the weekend to make sure I was 18. Fucking perv.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 9:39, 204 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

A frightful day at work beckons.
I've gone in super early to try to cope with staff shortages in both warehouse and office. Still, the day will go quickly I suppose.

How's your week looking?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 7:25, 90 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

You can call me Al.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 20:27, 59 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Good morning B3TA! How's tricks?
It's Sunday, typically a day of rest but what does it hold in store for YOU dear friend? I'll be transferring stuff into my G/F's newly-floored loft space*, then meeting up with some friends for a jam session and some beer.

Alt: Sunday dinner - the full works. A dying tradition or an essential part of your week?

Altalt: Ever found anything really valuable at a boot sale/jumble sale?

*Not a euphemism
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 9:56, 102 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Good evening shitlickers.
Why are you an internet shut-in this evening? I have a good excuse; micro is asleep upstairs, worn out from a birthday party full of white middle class ponces talking about prep schools & house prices.

Do you hate these sort of people?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:28, 116 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

An hour or from so now I'm ingesting a powerful hallucinogen
Whatchoouptoo?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 16:59, 225 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Morning all
So far this morning I have stubbed my toe and been kicked in the balls by a toddler.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 7:27, 123 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I'm watching some crappy horror film
How far back do you have to cast your mind to remember the last decent horror move you saw (in terms of when it was made) ? I'm going with Candyman.

Alt: How drunk do you need to get to reach 'too honest'?

Altalt: Sound off like ya got a pair!
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:34, 60 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

It's Friday. It's 5:31
Where are you cunts?
Alt: How much would you need to retire with an acceptable lifestyle?
Altalt: If you did retire, what* would you do with your time?

*other than YM and wanking.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:32, 143 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 15:22, 77 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Just been asked how I want my tea. I replied black, and got asked if that was with milk.
Any suggestions fot a sarky reply? Are you sarky? Is it the lowest form of wit?
Alt, pint or short?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:38, 93 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

General mirth
Name some things guaranteed to irk you on a daily basis.
Microsoft Excel is one for me. I never took an I.T course so the formula's for sums etc are beyond me!

Able bodied people getting the lift to and from the 1st floor are another.

alt. Last bluray/dvd/mp3/cd you bought

Alt. Weekend food plans
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:45, 192 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Schadenfreude and stalking
On my drive to work this morning I witnessed the silly auld fool who had just cut his car in front of mine and another driver's lose control of his vehicle and crash it into a barrier on the ring road.
And yea, I did lol heartily and shout "YOU DESERVED THAT" at him.
Afterwards I did feel slightly guilty, particularly when little tangle said he thought he looked like a nice old man.
How has the misfortune of others entertained you recently?

Alt: It seems I have successfully managed to stalk Nakers on the internet. It was quite fun.
Luckily for him, I'm probably not dangerous.
Have you ever stalked someone or been stalked?
Did the police get involved?
Did anyone get hurt?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:48, 135 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I am a bad father.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:11, 185 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

This made me lol, prove you're gay for asylum.
m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-24479812
I had visions of something a bit more extreme at Customs or Border Police. Have you had any amusing experiences at customs? If not amusing negative?
Alt, I'm off for a run, do you bother with any sort of fitness regime or are you resigned to being a fat internet weebil? Early running is ace it sweats out the crap from the previous night.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 5:15, 86 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

IMAGINATION
could make a man of you
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 1:00, Reply)

CONSOLIDATION
A man deleted a thread. CONVERGE.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 19:36, 255 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Drunk dickhead deletes thread, great
Alright?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 19:32, 4 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

What happened to Pook da Drunk's thread?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 19:31, 4 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

BATTERED IS A PRICK
Alt: get fucked.

Alt alt: shit off.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 18:18, 15 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Ever been told you look like someone famous?
I, for the record, look nowt like the poof off Bake off.

Who do fellow B3tan's look like?

alt. fave British comedy.
I'm going for One foot In The Grave

altalt. Greedy! You expect everyone else to do all the legwork don't you?! Typical Jew/Paki/Forrin *delete as inappropriate
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 17:19, 58 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

What sort of a flag should the UK have if the Jocks vote to fuck off?
Just remove the cross of St Andrew, or go for something entirely new?
Alt, I'm enduring a car chat at the mo, it's boring me fucking rigid, but they're clients and I have to seem vaguely interested, and make the occasional man noise. When were you last bored rigid? When do you make man noises?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 15:58, 170 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Friday tomorrow, got any interesting weekend plans (lol)
alt: worst ever technology purchase, what's gathering dust at the back of a cupboard, or became sentient and killed your family?

altalt: can you juggle? I can juggle three balls, but four is beyond me.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 14:08, 198 replies, latest was 11 years ago)