Good morning B3TA! How's tricks?
It's Sunday, typically a day of rest but what does it hold in store for YOU dear friend? I'll be transferring stuff into my G/F's newly-floored loft space*, then meeting up with some friends for a jam session and some beer.

Alt: Sunday dinner - the full works. A dying tradition or an essential part of your week?

Altalt: Ever found anything really valuable at a boot sale/jumble sale?

*Not a euphemism
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 9:56, 102 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Alright,
No much today I imagine. Walk the dogs in the rain, catch up on this morning grand prix, clean one of the fish tanks and then chill out for a bit. Had a heavy drinking day yesterday, so take it easy today.

Alt: it's nice, but not essential.

Altalt: I have bought some very expensive records from charity shops in the days before they got smart and started checking their catalogue, few first pressings and rarities.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 13 Oct 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Alright
Today I have been upsetting people on Facebook and posting incriminating and embarrassing photos of my 'friends' in an ongoing purge. I have also been transferring photos from my old laptop onto my newer one to maintain and upkeep my super secret cache of data required for mischief. Might go somewhere for dinner later.

alt: I love a proper roast but the diabetic and vegetarian contingent of the family have ruined this for the traditional 'family meal', and being a sad lonely depressed Internet shut in I am loathe to bother doing something nice for just me so I survive on a diet of sandwiches and m&s ready meals.

Altalt: no but I might do one to get rid of accumulated old shite that other people may want to give me money for so I can spend it on booze and brasses.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 10:17, Reply)

I've been up since 9.30 cooking. this never ever happens.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)

This sort of thing will help if you wish to continue your ridiculous façade of being 'a woman'.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 10:57, Reply)

more ill concealed lust. sigh.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 10:58, Reply)

It's your sense of humour that's the giveaway, real women aren't funny. Try being cute and soppy for greater authenticity.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:00, Reply)

+breasts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

you think I'm funny?
stop the clocks, a froggy compliment
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)

SHIT WHERES THE RORY TRADEMARKED DELETE BUTTON?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)

he's hidden it up his arse

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)

I'm not going up there to get it. You can keep that one.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:15, Reply)

my finger will never be up Rory's arse
however much the bisexualist leprechaun begs for it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)

'm smell
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)

HIM NOT YOU!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)

I made an amazing tart tartin and a loaf of bread yesterday

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 10:59, Reply)

I made a 'rye sour dough' loaf once. It was so good I have never made it again, but have thought about it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:01, Reply)

It it make acerbic quips about your life?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

No 'it it' didn't.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

That's why I come here.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Cleaned the flat this morning now at a manic soft play centre cos it's pissing it down
Alt: if by dinner you mean lunch then please kill yourself

Altalt: I once found what turned out to be an original copy of the bible, which was nice
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 10:58, Reply)

Was it signed by the author?

( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Dear Nakers,

Thanks for your support - especially the nails required to support my broken body on the cross!

All the best,

JC
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:03, Reply)

JC wasn't even born when the original bible came out!
This NT shit is for hipsters
( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:04, Reply)

Holy trinity mofo, he's always been around.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

It's basically a deistic threeway

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Oh fuck! They aren't adding Robin to The Matrix Franchise are they?

( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:09, Reply)

This is good!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Something about hundreds of years, a hundred authors and a thousand copies/edits

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)

If it's an original copy but not signed I'm afraid the guide price is just £5
However if it were signed by God himself it could be worth in excess of £150. /Clive_Farahar
( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)

I bought a book in a charity shop once that was signed by the author
he wrote, "to Alison, really hope you enjoy my book."

as she'd given it to a charity shop, I'm guessing she disn't.

and she was right. it was shit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Stephen King likes to autograph his books and put them back on the shelf so people get a nice surprise
A shop in Australia accused him of vandalising books.
( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)

I hope this is true
i love this. albeit it is quite egotistical!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)

It is true, it was on BBC news and everything.

( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Link it and start a thread then please.
I miss bbc news threads :(
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:28, Reply)

News from 6 years ago thread!
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6949300.stm

Perhaps I'll save the new thread until Monday where it can receive the attention something this current and relevant deserves.
( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:31, Reply)

You are an astute man, this sort of gold should be held back until it can reach maximum potential views.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)

If only Ch*mpy were still here
4eva in r harts
( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)

It's a crying shame he killed himself wanking with a bag over his head, noosed up inside a wardrobe of pleather clothing.
Now I literally have no idea what happens in the outside world.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)

I've googled and everything and I literally cannot find any bbc news links more recent than 2008

( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:40, Reply)

See, I've heard of this google thing, but I can't even find that, my electronic devices only lead me here now.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:41, Reply)

A better surprise would be to open the book and find that it wasn't by Steven king

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:15, Reply)

I bought books this weekend
Gonna read them over the next two weeks.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:18, Reply)

one finger under each word
Peter likes Jane.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:24, Reply)

hardly.
JG Ballard, Doris Lessing, Martin Amis.

Probs you should stick to Helen Fielding.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:27, Reply)

don't knock helen fielding, dude
she ain't struggling to pay the mortgage on a terraced £80k in York...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:27, Reply)

80K?
That's well out of my price range.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Mine too! *poor fives*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)

I saw Mark Thomas doing comedy recently.
One of his fans sent him a photo of the waterstones mystery section where all the books were turned spine-inwards I liked this a lot.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:18, Reply)

alright you bunch of faeces dugongs

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Bicycles are good for Sundays.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)

so is YD

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Sundays the scrap heap
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:10, Reply)

Bicycles are for people that can't afford cars

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)

I have both. Suck it!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)

+ it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Ha ha! Very good!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)

My bike cost more than my first car

( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Clearly they saw you coming

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:15, Reply)

I should have closed the curtains

( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:27, Reply)

I am fighting with a duvet cover
how can I have been making beds for hundreds of years and STILL get lost/tangled up??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:15, Reply)

You need to be at least this tall ----
To fill a king size duvet by yourself
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)

I suck

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Yhcciym

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Get the 'p' in place please. This acronym has been standardised.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:19, Reply)

go fist yourself

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Yhpcfuyc

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)

yep, that's how it'll sound

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:23, Reply)

and you have pendulous tits, we know

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:19, Reply)

haha you'll never ever know
you hamster felching freak of nature
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:20, Reply)

I have a 'no fat chicks' rule.
Sozzers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Have you actually got a 'chick' Dozertron?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:23, Reply)

aahahahahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaa
have you seen him?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:24, Reply)

No, but he sounds cool and sexy.
I ent seen many of you muppets which is all to the good I understand.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:25, Reply)

he looks like baz from the Adrian mole books
short, bald, pierced, angry stare and hamster fluff smeared around every orifice
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:28, Reply)

No real names please, Rob Fairholme

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Answer the question then, I need to know if it's appropriate to gaz you about my penis.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:26, Reply)

I'm an enigma

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:27, Reply)

A single enigma. Kewl.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Woah, woah, woah.
No mentioning of Rick Fuckhelme here.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 12:05, Reply)

+ed Chompy off.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:55, Reply)

I'm at work BUT I'm taking a half day so I can go home and eat pie
alt: I don't care much for Sunday dinners, too much faff, unless someone else is making it

altalt: little stone egg that's got a pair of brass duck legs attached to it, best purchase ever that
( Theoban What of it, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:42, Reply)

I'm in the North and someone is making me a bacon sandwich.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:47, Reply)

Be careful mate, I think brown sauce is standard there.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)

It might be served in a roll.
I'm not sure if they call a roll a 'cob' or a 'batch' or some other weird term.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Aren't they an odd bunch? I could have nearly been one of them, but luckily my infant self was spirited away in the nick of time.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)

BREADCAKE

( Theoban What of it, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)

A barm

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 13 Oct 2013, 12:26, Reply)

AltAlt: now you're talking my language.
A couple of months ago, I bought an old avo meter in its case for a tenner. Sold the case for 36 and the meter itself for 30.

mr b3th's best find was a 10p doll that he sold to a collector for £600. He likes to keep reminding me about that one.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 13 Oct 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Not good.
I got absolutely twatted last night. At some point I fell out of my chair and lost my glasses. Two checks of the back garden hasn't yielded any results, I suspect the dog may have eat them.

I also feel like I've headbutted an upturned plug.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 12:53, Reply)

WOOOOOO! GHOST TOWN.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:06, Reply)

All the clubs have been closed down.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:07, Reply)

That's why it feels like home.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:09, Reply)

I've got one art o-level
It did fuck all for me.

*\o/*
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Glasses update please

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:13, Reply)

I'm sat in my local unable to see about a yard past my face.
The glass contains Tennents.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Oh Christ! Still, beer eh?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:16, Reply)

Indeed, I do like a Sunday in the pub.
It takes steely determination to get the right amount of booze to not feel like death on Monday yet be able to sleep well when you've slept until midday.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:22, Reply)

Aye, it's a delicate balance and no mistake. I might go in search of a beer myself at some point today, I haven't had *anything* since midnight.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:24, Reply)

Past 'the pint of no return' I believe the viz calls it.
An easy mistake to make.

I hope you enjoy your beer.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 14:26, Reply)

I have a glasses update
Monty posted my glasses back to me wrapped very well and placed in a nice little box. I then found my spare pair too so I have all my glasses! You can all relax now.
( Peej, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 15:43, Reply)

went to bed early , slept loads
woke up early, fell asleep again, eventually got up and went swimming. Still tired. Cannot wake myself up. Possibly inhaled too much spray paint yesterday or something.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 15:54, Reply)