One of my friends just accidentally sent another of my friends a photo message.
It was, and I quote, 'a fanny with a landing strip'. Due to a distinctive stomach tattoo, we know it to be her 'fanny'.

There was us, worrried about the situation with her mental alcoholic fiancé and there was her, SMSing her flangepiece to him, but accidentally traumatising one of her best friends. She's apologised, but the recipient says she'll never sleep peacefully again.

Sending your Mary to your mates is not on, girls.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:16, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I would NEVER do that
picture messaging is expensive!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:17, Reply)

It's mad because she was in tears and calling off the wedding five days ago
Now he's getting a hairy smile!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:19, Reply)

Well maybe they'd fallen out of the state of her allotment
And this picture confirms a newly groomed lady-garden?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:22, Reply)

Hooray!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:23, Reply)

Hooray?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:25, Reply)

All is well because she's trimmed her hedge

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)

Tuppence topiary.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)

Hairy smile?!
Oh lord. Not heard that one before.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:22, Reply)

I doubt I came up with it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:24, Reply)

I really, really don't like vaginas.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:25, Reply)

Well, you'd better get used to 'em.
Or at least your own!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)

I like to pretend mine doesn't exist.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)

That isn't gay
Unless you're a bloke
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:27, Reply)

I'm a bloke.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)

ha
my friend got woken up ar 3am the other day by a text the other day of a rock hard and weeping shiny pink cock. together with the script "i can't wait to taste your dripping wet pussy".

yeah, her colleague's girlfriend is also called alison......
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)

How delightful
I hope to God I never get embroiled in such a disaster.
I have sent messages to the wrong people but fortunately not that kind of thing.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:33, Reply)

she didn't tell him
but she did get twatted at work drinks and tell everyone else!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:35, Reply)

I told a few tales about myself at dinner on Saturday
and that was before I was even tipsy. I'm an idiot.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:38, Reply)

wholly sympathise
i jsut had to do a psychometric test at work (pointless pointless pointless test is pointless) and i was 1/10 on the scale of being guarded about myself....... :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:41, Reply)

I did one of those personality tests a few years ago.
I got a record score in pessimism.

The opening line of my report read, 'Jeff brings doom and gloom wherever he goes'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:44, Reply)

I've done a few of those and they all came out different so either they are bullshit or I am proper mental

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:46, Reply)

well who is going to tell the truth
are you a) sane or b) psychotic? would you describe yourself as a) hard working and well organised or b) chaotic and lazy.

etc.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:57, Reply)

One of my team went out of his way to answer all the questions as badly as possible
And he got a cracking review.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:02, Reply)

I had to do one for a temp job with axa a few years ago and I came back medium to high risk
as I had questionable morals. I felt so badass.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:03, Reply)

And I thought me accidentally emailing work to my tutor instead of myself with the subject line 'tits' yesterday was bad.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:31, Reply)

Hahahahah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:34, Reply)

I felt quite bad, her name's Lisa so when I typed in Liam to email it to myself it must have done auto complete.
How blunt is that though, an unfinished essay and just the word 'tits' as a header. She did email me back with improvements mind, so it worked!
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:49, Reply)

How is there any improvement on 'tits'?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:50, Reply)

just add more

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:52, Reply)

A former colleague, Neil, would agree.
Overhearing another colleague relating the tale of when he had to push past glamour model Lindsey Dawn Mackenzie on a train... his comment was "They were too big to get past".

Neil's response? "They can never be too big".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:55, Reply)

I meant more boobs not more mass to the existing boobs.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:57, Reply)

Neil didn't.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:58, Reply)

thechive.com/2009/02/19/15-women-who-will-never-drown/huge-boobs-11/
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:00, Reply)

Oh lordy.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:06, Reply)