Bob turned up in the last thread and the thread suddenly died.
When was the last time you walked into a room and the conversation stopped?

Alt: If you had to buy a secret santa gift for a poster on OT, who would you want to buy for and what would you get them. Maximum spend, a tenner.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:19, 144 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Errrm last week probably
it happens to me with alarming regularity :(
I would buy BGB £10 of self esteem because I don't think £10 would get her a man she'd be willing to sleep with. Or if I had a bit more I'd buy Amberl that thing from MAC she was lusting after for being lovely and letting me stay at hers!
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:23, Reply)

How much elf (well it is Christmas) esteem would a tenner get?
'a tenners worth is not a useful answer'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:27, Reply)

A tenners-worth more than she's got?
Not that she'd need it if only she realised how awesome she is.
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:32, Reply)

This ^
How is the interview prep going?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:34, Reply)

Errrrrrm
I read some papers today, does that count? Probably not... well, not that great, in that case. I always leave stuff til the very last minute. Although I did make some notes and stuff today and have a much better idea of what I want to talk about.
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:37, Reply)

Do you have to give a presentation?
Or just answer lots of questions?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:38, Reply)

Both
and present a bitch of a paper.
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:40, Reply)

Does that involve more than saying, 'Here, have this bit of paper with my compliments'?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:46, Reply)

Sometimes I really despair of you
yes, yes it does. I have to read a journal, understand it and be able to talk confidently about it for 10 minutes.
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:50, Reply)

10 minutes goes quite quickly once you get going
I had to get questioned, and do a 10 minute presentation followed by questions at my interview last week.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:53, Reply)

It's the understanding and talking confidently that bothers me
not the amount of time. It really is a bitch of a paper.
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)

Lots and lots of acronyms!
Got to love them.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)

God, tell me about it
this one is banging on and on about pTEFb and the EAP complex. ARGH.
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)

Sounds like one of our site briefings.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:04, Reply)

Why not speak about cakes?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)

Because that is highly unlikely to get me a PhD in cancer research?

(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)

And you definately what to do you PhD in cancer research, not cake?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:20, Reply)

I work for a contract manufacturer that has MAC among its customers.
If the item in question is manufactured on site, I might be able to get a free sample. Plus I could freak out the boss by putting down "home trials" as the reason for removing it from site.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:49, Reply)

Amberl might love you for this

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:52, Reply)

There is a handling charge, mind.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:53, Reply)

Makes no difference to me
I don't know what this stuff is, and don't care in the slightest.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)

Whatever it would be won't be £13
which is the going rate for an eyeshadow.

I think I have at least 15. Shit. That's a LOT of money.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:56, Reply)

Especially as most of them just consist of common minerals with a bit of stearic acid and pigment.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:00, Reply)

Don't shatter the illusion that ridiculously expensive things are much better than cheaper versions which are exactly the same

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:04, Reply)

Well the difference in cost at our end mainly lies in all the extra bells and whistles (vitamins, plant proteins etc.) big-name customers add that allow them to make extra claims on the pack.
But naturally it's nowhere near as large as the difference in retail price.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:07, Reply)

Ooooh!
I doubt it will be as it's a Christmas gift set thingamajiggy - but I would never ever say no to free samples of MAC stuff if you can lay your hands on any!
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:56, Reply)

+ E
You violent rapist sprayer.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)

Mace?
Why carry chemicals when a punch in the nuts is oh so much more satisfying and efficient?
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:01, Reply)

Well if they can't see you, you'd be able to punch them twice.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:20, Reply)

I'd buy several people lots of alcohol for putting up with whinging from me and lots of owed drinks
But I'd probably take Applebite out and we would get leathered for that amount.

I am not a boozehound, honest.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:26, Reply)

Well I am
It's nothing to be ashamed of.

*swigs from JD bottle*
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:13, Reply)

I have a litre of gin in my wardrobe :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:31, Reply)

My JD bottle is just in reach of my left arm
And I have an exam tomorrow...

Edit: Gin was last year. I have a photo somewhere of what I look like the morning after. It's not a pretty sight.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:55, Reply)

Jeff, can I just have another ten minutes of unjustified smug please?
I think I deserve it.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:33, Reply)

Have all the smug you want, but what are you going to offer us for putting up with it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:39, Reply)

Last time I pulled
I was absent from b3ta for ten months. There's my offer.

Pulled makes it sound so cheap.

I've met a soulmate. And isn't that just great. Actually it's just the prospect of a dirty shag.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:46, Reply)

Is she not very clean?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:47, Reply)

I'll tell you next time I appear.
Friday has suddenly become tomorrow.

Ooh my bad knee. I can't possibly work tomorrow.

Night, kids!

xxx
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:54, Reply)

Night TD.
Glad this week is improving for you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:59, Reply)

I'd buy CHCB an electric fly swatter
For using to go apeshit at builders. I think it would see good use.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:37, Reply)

This evening when I walked into the front room.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:47, Reply)

What happened?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:48, Reply)

One of my flatmates was having a moan about me to someone (I could fucking hear him so I walked in)
Because I used his frying pan. He can bore off. It's a frying pan.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:50, Reply)

Out of the frying pan and into the fire eh?
What a shit reason for getting the hump.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 22:59, Reply)

I used to flatshare with an utter cunt with a well developed personality problem.
Not nice.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:01, Reply)

I've said to everyone feel free to use whatever, I don't give a toss, it's cutlery and food for christ sake.
He's a classic 'this is *my* stuff, you can't touch *my* stuff' kinda guy though
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:07, Reply)

What a crap housemate.
Fair enough, if it was something valuable and difficult to replace like a vintage wine or a nice whisky, but a frying pan?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:23, Reply)

Hit him with it.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:12, Reply)

Cartoon-violence-tastic!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:21, Reply)

dude you have to shit in it.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:48, Reply)

One of my friends just accidentally sent another of my friends a photo message.
It was, and I quote, 'a fanny with a landing strip'. Due to a distinctive stomach tattoo, we know it to be her 'fanny'.

There was us, worrried about the situation with her mental alcoholic fiancé and there was her, SMSing her flangepiece to him, but accidentally traumatising one of her best friends. She's apologised, but the recipient says she'll never sleep peacefully again.

Sending your Mary to your mates is not on, girls.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:16, Reply)

I would NEVER do that
picture messaging is expensive!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:17, Reply)

It's mad because she was in tears and calling off the wedding five days ago
Now he's getting a hairy smile!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:19, Reply)

Well maybe they'd fallen out of the state of her allotment
And this picture confirms a newly groomed lady-garden?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:22, Reply)

Hooray!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:23, Reply)

Hooray?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:25, Reply)

All is well because she's trimmed her hedge

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)

Tuppence topiary.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)

Hairy smile?!
Oh lord. Not heard that one before.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:22, Reply)

I doubt I came up with it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:24, Reply)

I really, really don't like vaginas.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:25, Reply)

Well, you'd better get used to 'em.
Or at least your own!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)

I like to pretend mine doesn't exist.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)

That isn't gay
Unless you're a bloke
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:27, Reply)

I'm a bloke.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)

ha
my friend got woken up ar 3am the other day by a text the other day of a rock hard and weeping shiny pink cock. together with the script "i can't wait to taste your dripping wet pussy".

yeah, her colleague's girlfriend is also called alison......
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)

How delightful
I hope to God I never get embroiled in such a disaster.
I have sent messages to the wrong people but fortunately not that kind of thing.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:33, Reply)

she didn't tell him
but she did get twatted at work drinks and tell everyone else!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:35, Reply)

I told a few tales about myself at dinner on Saturday
and that was before I was even tipsy. I'm an idiot.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:38, Reply)

wholly sympathise
i jsut had to do a psychometric test at work (pointless pointless pointless test is pointless) and i was 1/10 on the scale of being guarded about myself....... :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:41, Reply)

I did one of those personality tests a few years ago.
I got a record score in pessimism.

The opening line of my report read, 'Jeff brings doom and gloom wherever he goes'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:44, Reply)

I've done a few of those and they all came out different so either they are bullshit or I am proper mental

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:46, Reply)

well who is going to tell the truth
are you a) sane or b) psychotic? would you describe yourself as a) hard working and well organised or b) chaotic and lazy.

etc.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:57, Reply)

One of my team went out of his way to answer all the questions as badly as possible
And he got a cracking review.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:02, Reply)

I had to do one for a temp job with axa a few years ago and I came back medium to high risk
as I had questionable morals. I felt so badass.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:03, Reply)

And I thought me accidentally emailing work to my tutor instead of myself with the subject line 'tits' yesterday was bad.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:31, Reply)

Hahahahah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:34, Reply)

I felt quite bad, her name's Lisa so when I typed in Liam to email it to myself it must have done auto complete.
How blunt is that though, an unfinished essay and just the word 'tits' as a header. She did email me back with improvements mind, so it worked!
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:49, Reply)

How is there any improvement on 'tits'?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:50, Reply)

just add more

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:52, Reply)

A former colleague, Neil, would agree.
Overhearing another colleague relating the tale of when he had to push past glamour model Lindsey Dawn Mackenzie on a train... his comment was "They were too big to get past".

Neil's response? "They can never be too big".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:55, Reply)

I meant more boobs not more mass to the existing boobs.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:57, Reply)

Neil didn't.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:58, Reply)

thechive.com/2009/02/19/15-women-who-will-never-drown/huge-boobs-11/
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:00, Reply)

Oh lordy.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:06, Reply)

a giant sack of white chocolate coins
for amberl and berk
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:29, Reply)

berk Selma.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:31, Reply)

you do know there's not a woman on the planet
who would appreciate this description, right?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:33, Reply)

Blousie and berk are
Patty and Selma.

*Goes all barrow-boy*

Trust me sweetheart, they love the attention, fucking love it.

Alwite Treacle?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:35, Reply)

Sorry was at my mates, just got back.
It's so cold out there plus the ice on my road makes for slow motion power slide awesomeness.

edit - I would buy Chompy a ten bag so he might mellow out a bit.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)

It'll be minus 11 this evening apparently.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:32, Reply)

today at uni I hid behind an ice covered tree waiting to give it a shake as the girls went by
(the tree, not my penis) and as I shook it the wind picked up and blew it all over me. It was horrible. It has made me rethink my evil ways.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:34, Reply)

How old are you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:36, Reply)

28

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:37, Reply)

And at the age of 28, doing a winter Agadoo makes you happy?
Push pineapple
Shake a tree
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:40, Reply)

yeah it's funny.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:43, Reply)

And those training to be teachers are encouraged to hide behind trees, yes?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:51, Reply)

I wouldn't say encouraged no but still bloody good fun.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:53, Reply)

You child.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:59, Reply)

Just been discussing a vinyl only DJing thing with a mate
Should we call it Hot Wax or Earwig?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:50, Reply)

My mate was in a band called Earwig.
*Irrelevant post is irrelevant*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:51, Reply)

Evening DG

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:53, Reply)

Evening Jeff.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:56, Reply)

You had a good night DG?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:01, Reply)

Not really.
I think Christmas and my impending 40th may need to be cancelled.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:02, Reply)

Because you hate the idea of getting to 40 and Christmas is FUCKING BENT?
Or because it is just far too expensive a time of year?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:06, Reply)

Nah,
the missus got scammed to the tune of £75. This on top of forking out £170 to get the heating fixed does not make me a happy bunny. I'm even thinking about selling my Doctor Who videos...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:09, Reply)

Ouch
How did the Doris get scammed?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:10, Reply)

Ordered something on a low cost trial
cancelled it then they took £75 anyway. Bank says because she gave our details, although they will send a cancellation order it could take 30 days to kick in, during which time they thieving bastards can remove £75 from our account any time they fucking well please because of the small print. We have cancelled the card but this is no guarantee they still won't be able to take money.

I am fucking livid.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:14, Reply)

Fuckers.
Amazon caught me out with their delivery service 'offer' a while ago, that was cash I didn't need to spend.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:17, Reply)

Amazon Prime?
Yep, been shafted with that, too...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:20, Reply)

Yeah.
I got the money back, only because I checked the statement before I'd ordered anything else.

But it was far from clear. That annoys me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:23, Reply)

How did you manage that?
I don't think she's ordered anything from Amazon since the money came off, so if we can get the £45 back it would be a small but useful help.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:25, Reply)

The vinyl-countdown.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:52, Reply)

I idly suggested The Vinyl Solution

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:54, Reply)

Plastic wax.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:00, Reply)

Plastic...Wax?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:01, Reply)

Spastic tax

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:02, Reply)

eil.com/explore/guide/vinyl_making.asp
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:04, Reply)

Past Times i'd say

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:56, Reply)

Why Past Times?
We wouldn't be discussing your youth swipe.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:58, Reply)

Swipe's youth disappeared a long time ago.
Granted, not as long ago as mine, but...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 23:59, Reply)

i don't have a youth
i prefer sophisticated older types
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:06, Reply)

And yet you choose to post on here?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:08, Reply)

You're a funny lady.
I was of course implying that your days of being a flighty and young devil-may-care chick are well behind you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:09, Reply)

hahahahahaha
fuck that nasty shit, there's more responsible people than me doing their a-levels.

although i DO resent the word "chick" you patronising little conehead...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:13, Reply)

Woah 'Swipe, woah
I meant no harm or patronisation.

I'm genuinely sorry I offended you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:15, Reply)

Would you prefer "hen"?
/Hometown speak
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:15, Reply)

I thought your people took a more generic animal stance and called them all 'pet'?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:18, Reply)

My hometown.
A borders backwater. Any female is automatically "hen". "Pet" is slightly more endearing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:21, Reply)

And do the men tend to get hen-pecked?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:25, Reply)

Nah.
We're not Coronation Street...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:26, Reply)

That would be pigeon-pecked surely?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:27, Reply)

More like swan in my hometown.
There's a huge colony on the river.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:29, Reply)

You had you arm broken by one yet?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:34, Reply)

No
but I have been dive bombed by a swan in my youth. It was fucking scary, I can tell you.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:35, Reply)

I got shat-on by a seagull once
That was distressing enough.

So where is the smart money going for NUFC new boss? Jol?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:36, Reply)

Pardew, apparently.
For fuck's sake. Because he's really got a Premiership pedigree...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:40, Reply)

I wouldn't worry too much
Granted, I think that Houghton was treated badly, and I have no sympathy with the board if they get the next appointment wrong, but my lot (including me) were over the moon with the appointment of Steve Cop-out, that hardly worked out well. He spent a couple of mil of the Chairmans money and then decided the job wasn't for him and fucked off.

I can't help but wonder if they'll reflect on this sacking with regret.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:44, Reply)

Probably.
Mike Ashley may be a successful businessman, but when it comes to running a football club he's a clueless cunt. Most supporters were starting to think that perhaps his long term plan wasn't totally cockheaded at all; spend low, invest young, get the debt down... it seemed to be working. All we wanted was stability and to stay up and that would have happened if Hughton had been kept on. Instead we're back to square one, a new manager is going to want to ring changes and there are rumours that Ashley will sell of Carroll in January for mega bucks and that's why Hughton was sacked, because he would oppose any deal to sell him.

I may go back to supporting Berwick Rangers; at least the disappointment is never tinged with optimism.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 1:00, Reply)

it does seem like the ideal choice for your new manager
would be Chris Hughton...

He ticks all the boxes, anyway.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 1:09, Reply)

Yep.
Player support, not banging on the board's door for money, decent track record in signings, getting results (a 55% win ratio altogether), fan support, media and other manager's respect... yeah, you can see why he was fired, can't you?

Grrrr. I'm going to bed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Dec 2010, 1:14, Reply)

Night all
www.facebook.com/album.php?profile=1&id=290884142545#!/pages/The-Mull-of-Kintyre-Looks-Like-A-Dick/290884142545
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:44, Reply)

Have you sent your other half to the doctors?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 0:47, Reply)