I'm going to get married
except me and catfaceceilidhbaby came down with what is probably Norovirus last night. She projectile vomited in the manner of a fountain, about a foot in the air, and it all landed on her face (and, somehow, on the back of her head).

She's still boking so it's the doctor's at 3pm. I'm only leaking out one end now. Well, one end and two breasts. I feel like someone has taken a hammer to all my joints and then buried me in shit and vomit. I'm going to get married but you may want to avoid kissing the bride.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 14:16, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This is God punishing you for bearing fruit out of wedlock.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 14:18, Reply)

And marrying a forriner.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 14:25, Reply)

So you had a 'baby shower' of you own last night, eh?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Hrmph. I hope yours is just as good.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I'd rather be thrown up on by my daughter
than go to a guilt-trip present fishing exercise any fucking day.

I'm very sorry I am not able to come to your do.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 14:27, Reply)

I don't think it's fair to say the whole wedding thing is a massive push to get as much free pressents out of guilt.
That's not fair at all, maybe they simply love each other and want to get married? Hahahhaha, only kidding, I'd totally get hitched to score free shit too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I had to read that twice.
Thought you had said it was a 'fisting exercise'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 14:34, Reply)